Am I taking this too personal? (roommate issue)

<p>That’s what deranged serial killers and people with NPD do! What are you going to do next if not invited to a party, call the cops and tell them they are having too much fun down the street because YOU weren’t invited?!? Get over it.</p>

<p>@jdong92 No, that’s not PC. Parties these days can’t be too spontaneous or may be deemed ‘unsafe’. It’s more preferred to have a wild and crazy pre planned dinner party.</p>

<p>[Bard</a> College Named Nation’s No. 1 Dinner Party School | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source](<a href=“http://www.theonion.com/articles/bard-college-named-nations-no-1-dinner-party-schoo,19032/]Bard”>Bard College Named Nation's No. 1 Dinner Party School)</p>

<p>Bard winning 1st place Dinner Party School this year threw Wesleyan students into an outrage so don’t want to forget to mention them. Party like its 1959!!!</p>

<p><a href=“http://wesleying.org/2011/02/08/dinner-party-school-ranking-scandal-mounting-evidence-of-corrupt-judging-by-the-onion/[/url]”>http://wesleying.org/2011/02/08/dinner-party-school-ranking-scandal-mounting-evidence-of-corrupt-judging-by-the-onion/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>Are you freaking serious??? That’s not called having a “backbone,” that’s called having a PERSONALITY DISORDER! How would ruining someone’s life truly make the situation better for the OP?</p>

<p>^^ Haha. That os exactly how I picture liberal arts schools</p>

<p>LOL @ the responses. People are so tough online but I bet if they were in the OPs face irl, they’d have a different tone and say something completely different. Gotta love keyboard warriors. k3yb0@rd w@rr!or 4 lyfe1111 Lewlz.</p>

<p>Anyway, me personally, I don’t think it’s that serious. There’s no reason to get angry and hold a grudge over something so trivial. If you care that much talk to him, then ask him why he lied. If you’re truly over it (which you’re not based off the OP), then just stop giving an f-u-c-k.</p>

<p>You are taking it wayyyy too seriously… All he did was lie about a stupid party, why are you still worried about him lying to you about a party 5 months ago?</p>

<p>I guess I’m just that type of person. When I’m with you… I’m with you all the way. I’m just a bit taken back by the comments. How do you guys accept so much crap in your life? It seems like you guys like being lied to. You guys seem to think it’s acceptable?</p>

<p>Now, I understand it was a pretty small lie, but a lie nonetheless. I mean this guy lied to me right in front of my face and basically showed no remorse or anything in his eyes. </p>

<p>We’re both at a mature age (I’m 18; he’s 19). I’m sure I could handle him saying he doesn’t want to go out with me tonight because I don’t really care. I’ll just get some other guys to go out. I didn’t see how he found the need to lie.</p>

<p>I’m sorry, but AGE says absolutely NOTHING about how mature you are. Taking such a tiny lie that might not have even been a lie (see my other post) so personally is nowhere near being mature.</p>

<p>We don’t like being lied to, it’s just that we think you’re obsessing over this whole incident. There’s really nothing you can do in this situation, unless you’re planning on somehow “punishing” your roommate. If you’re so bothered by this, then quit being his friend and move on with life.</p>

<p>Onhcetum:</p>

<p>You are obviously a very straight forward person, and honesty is absolutely the BEST policy when dealing with others. Unfortunately, there are no perfect people in this world, and often times we have to plan on being disappointed by the behaviors of others. Consider the magnitude of the lie told, and find some measure of comfort that your roommate’s untruth did not have further more dire consequences. Does he respect your personal property? Does he respect your privacy and respect your friends when they are over? Are all of your possessions accounted for? Has he been disrespectful towards you in tone or language? Does he disrespect your need for quiet time when you’re trying to study? Has he falsely accused you of any wrong doings ? </p>

<p>If the ANSWERS to the above are “no”, then there are some definate “positives” to consider when assessing his behavior, integrity, and personality. </p>

<p>Although I (and others) can appreciate your angst, there are far worse roommate horror stories. See if you can put the past behind you and carve out an appreciation for the person he is (warts, pimples, blemishes and all). If you find that living with him is not in your best interest, perhaps you can be placed on a waiting list for a roommate exchange?</p>

<p>In any event, try not to let this bother indefinately. Your college experience is such a treasured time in your life. Enjoy these years…no matter how unimpressed you might be with your roommate’s character.</p>

<p>If you have a hard time and hold inanely long grudges over being lied to, even with a trivial and inconsequential lie, in COLLEGE then you’re screwed in life bro.</p>

<p>I’m going to band wagon like everyone else.</p>

<p>CHYEAH BRO! YOU’RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT IN LIFE BRO! LIES AIN’T SEIROUS BRO!</p>

<p>BRO! BRO! BRO!</p>

<p>^…what does that even mean?</p>

<p>I’m sensing that OP isn’t going to understand what everyone means. Yes it’s a bit fun to ridicule him. And many of us have that SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET IS WRONG I MUST SET THEM STRAIGHT OR THE WORLD WILL END kind of mentality. But I’m sensing a disconnect here and I don’t think anyone can make him understand.</p>

<p>Sorry OP, no one is going to agree with you. But you are entitled to your own opinion, of course. I hope you can one day forgive your roommate since I am sure he meant you no serious harm, and has probably forgotten about the incident. If you could let go of things you might be a happier person. Just a thought.</p>

<p>OP you talk about maturity but you’re the one who’s obviously being immature with the whole situation. You say everyone else must like taking crap…what you “went through” wasn’t taking crap, it was a guy who was probably sick of you “being with him all the way” but still thought you were a good guy and just wanted a night on his own without hurting your feelings. If you can’t handle something as inconsequential as that FIVE MONTHS AGO, then yes you are going to have some problems later in life. Have you even talked to him about this? He probably thinks you’re an ******* by now, which is what you’re acting like tbh.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, maturity and adulthood aren’t necessarily synonymous. I feel kind of silly talking down to you, OP, because I’m only twenty two, but eighteen/nineteen is YOUNG. If my friends remembered every stupid mistake that I made in my eighteenth year alone, and if that was all it took to end our friendships, I would be an absolute loner. People make mistakes all their lives, and they also have different ideas about what’s a big deal. There are shades of gray. If something is the matter, it shouldn’t be expected that everyone will know it, and mature people are able to communicate instead of letting things stew. </p>

<p>Also, unless you’re one of those older students that is coming back to school in your sixties or seventies, then chances are you’re going through college at the same time that you’re growing up and figuring out everything else - who you are, who you want to be, what’s acceptable and what’s a deal breaker in any relationship, etc. I mean, some of the final stages of brain development don’t happen until a person is around twenty five.</p>

<p>If all else fails, I agree that letting go about this is a good idea.</p>

<p>maybe he thought you were a borderline piece of **** square who nobody in their right mind would want to hang out with (which is exactly how I picture you - I would have to be blacked in order to want to spend 15 minutes with you), and sparing your feelings instead of telling you how he truly felt about you, he hedged his bets that he MOST LIKELY wouldn’t see you that night and have to worry about it. Honestly, get over it. He didn’t want to be a ****** and tell you he didn’t want to be your friend, so instead of ruining his night by having to spend it with you, he came up with a nice way of telling you he didn’t want to hang out with you.</p>

<p>To be honest, I would much rather have someone make up a lie to not hang out with me (especially if I JUST met them and was forced to live with them for the next 9 months) than have them tell me straight up that I didn’t have any redeemable characteristics. If I saw him out, I would take the hint and realize maybe he didn’t want to be friends. The term buzzkill is derived from someone who kills your buzz when you’re drinking, which is probably what would’ve happened, had he been forced to spend the night with you.</p>

<p>Frankly, if you weren’t gonna take our opinions and were just fishing for sympathy, you should’ve embellished the story a little bit so you don’t look like such an immature *<strong><em>. Oh *</em></strong>, I forgot lying (especially about college parties - since they only happen one time during the year on a select night and if your roommate doesn’t invite you, you’re screwed) is punishable by hanging. my b</p>

<p>@OP, thealbatross is right honestly, it sounds like you’re just fishing for sympathy. You need to accept that you’re the one who is acting *****ed up here. Yeah, he lied okay? A tiny, tiny lie. Honesty is a good thing to have. Being hurt for a brief time by this is understandable. Deciding he’s an untrustworthy lying piece trash that you wouldn’t bat an eye at if he got mugged… is an unacceptable response even if this lie was about something more serious. You need to listen, and understand, that is not the mindset or behavior of a person who is functioning at the optimal level, that is the mindset of a sociopath, or at least someone with depressive or even autistic spectrum disorders. What he did to you is synonimous with getting the wrong change back at Burger King. It’s completely insignificant, to be STILL upset over it all this time suggests something is VERY wrong. It’s been five months, GET.OVER.IT. Nobody here likes getting lied to mmkay? It’d be understandable if this happened hours before you posted, but people who are functioning normally would be over this AT THE MOST after a week. You’re holding onto this and it’s clearly bothering you. Do you want our advice or do you want our sympathy? If you want our advice, grow up, get over it, apologize for being a jerk to him for 5 months, talk to him about it, and MOVE ON. If you want our sympathy you need to look elsewhere because nobody is going to condone your behavior as acceptable.</p>

<p>Of course, RoxSox is probably right too, I’m sensing the same disconnect and I really don’t think you’re going to take the advice but here it is if you wanna be mature and listen to it.</p>

<p>And seriously… go talk to your campus health office because your behavior is really indicative of something you might need some help with.</p>

<p>You’re doing the right thing. A lie about a party is the worst. It’s worse than murderin,dealin,tappin your ex or everything else. </p>

<p>If I were you I would smash his head in pieces when he’s sleeping. You might feel like that’s too much but it’s not… Actually, it’s never too much when someone lies to you about a party.</p>

<p>That was supposed to be my ending but I just can’t stop. I can’t believe he really did that to you. It’s really tough. I feel your pain. This just made me really angry, I just wanna go kick the shizzle out of someone right now. </p>

<p>You know what… I give up. I’m gonna go and cry to my mommy. This thing brought back old memories… That’s why it really got to me because like 2 years ago I was jogging and I saw my mailman and I asked him if he needed a help but he told me he wasn’t delivering the mails for my apartment for any time soon. Guess what happened? 2 minutes after I saw him around my apartment. That really hurt me cause I thought we had something special. It felt really good to talk to him. But after what he did to me I don’t even care about him. If other mailmans jump him right now I wouldn’t even help him. Actually, I would jump him too. </p>

<p>Anyways, I’m goin to my mama… Mama’s love is the best cure for pains like this extreme.</p>

<p>Would you all shut the **** up? You all sound like broken records. I think he got the message after the first 25 mindless sheep came in here basically repeating the same thing. </p>

<p>Jeez Louise. People love to hear themselves talk.</p>

<p>yeah he lied to and yes you are taking this too personal. atleast he didnt like kill your family when he told you he was going to party.</p>