<p>How do you wake up Lady Gaga?</p>
<p>By setting her alarm to an appropriate time.</p>
<h2>roses are red violets are blue </h2>
<p>i have a gun get in the van</p>
<h2>why did Micheal Jackson die?</h2>
<p>A overdose by his house docter</p>
<p>There are two reasons not to drink from your toilet…No. 1
.
.
.
and No.2</p>
<p>Once upon a time, two cats fell in love with each other. They were super-elated & promised never to break-up. They had 5 cute kittens & loved them to death. They dined together & everybody got the same share of succulent dead rats. They would visit the parks, museums, movie-halls & soccer games. They were, in short, a happy-happy kitty-cat family.</p>
<p>One fine morning, mama & papa cats went to take a stroll in the lovely woods. They discussed about the future of their kitty-babies & planned about their investment in education & the like. Mama cat was walking a little faster than papa cat. </p>
<p>Suddenly, & quite unfortunately, a giant mountain emanated between them. They were separated & cried their hearts out. Mama took care of the babies & papa was nowhere to bee seen.</p>
<p>After 10 years, while the kittens were gleefully playing in the garden, papa cat appeared from nowhere. Mama saw him, dropped the bubble-bath from her shivering hands, wiped her sweaty brow & ran to papa cat…in a slow motion…</p>
<p>They finally came face-to face with each other…Past moments videotaped their way into the minds of the couple. they cried, laughed & hugged each other. </p>
<p>Q. What were the first words that mama said to papa cat?</p>
<p>A. meow</p>
<p>Q:Why’d the monkey fall out of the tree?
A:it was dead</p>
<p>Q:why’d the second monkey fall out of the tree?
A:it was stapled to the first one.</p>
<p>Q:why’d the third monkey fall out of the tree?
A: it thought it was a game</p>
<p>Q: Why’d the refrigerator fall out of the tree?
A: it couldn’t hold on.</p>
<p>Q:Why’d the little girl fall off her bike?
A:because she was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.</p>
<p>Q: Who’s white, male, and hates the Jews?
A: God.</p>
<p>This isn’t really anti-humor, but it’s funny to see people answer with Adolf Hitler and then see their reaction to your answer.</p>
<p>Not sure if these have been mentioned already, but…</p>
<p>what’s brown and sticky?
a stick.</p>
<p>what does a mole and a balloon have in common?
they both have claws. I lied about the balloon.</p>
<p>do u want to know the best joke…</p>
<p>this website lol</p>
<p>Q- Why did the boy drop his ice cream?</p>
<p>A- because he was hit by a bus! </p>
<p>I’m not sure we adequately defined “Anti-joke” at the beginning of this thread. Got some good chuckles out of this sucker, though.</p>
<p>a dyslexic man walks into a bra.</p>
<p>How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her</p>
<p>What did batman say to robin before getting in the batmobile?
Get into the batmobile</p>
<p>“Knock Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“To.”
“To who?”
“To whom.”</p>
<p>Q: What’s sad about four black men in a Cadillac going over a cliff?
A: They were my friends.</p>
<p>3 men walk into the new bar downtown. You’d think one of them would’ve seen it.</p>
<p>What’s white, black, and red all over?</p>
<p>An interracial couple being brutally murdered.</p>
<p>Some of these may be repeats, but here is my repetoir </p>
<p>Anti jokes</p>
<p>Q: What’s the different between a Ferrari and a pile of dead bodies?
A: I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage</p>
<p>Q: What’s worse than 100 babies nailed to a tree?
A: 1 baby nailed to 100 trees</p>
<p>Q: what’s the difference between a black man and a picnic table?*
A: A picnic table can support a family</p>
<p>Q: What did the robot say to the child?
A: Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.</p>
<p>Q: What’s the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A: One doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven</p>
<p>Q: How do u fit 95 jews in a Volkswagen
A: 2 in front, 3 in back, and 90 in the ash-tray</p>
<p>Q:*what’s better than swinging a baby in circles around your head on a 5 foot rope?
A: stopping it with a shovel</p>
<p>Q:Why’d the monkey fall out of the tree?
A:it was dead
Q:why’d the second monkey fall out of the tree?
A:it was stapled to the first one.
Q:why’d the third monkey fall out of the tree?
A: it thought it was a game
Q: Why’d the refrigerator fall out of the tree?
A: Because trees aren’t meant to support refrigerators*
Q:Why’d the little girl fall off her bike?
A:because she was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.</p>
<p>Q: Why was the little boy crying?
A: He had a frog stapled to his face</p>
<p>Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing set?
A: She had no arms</p>
<p>Q: How do you stop a clown from smiling?
A: Hit them in the face with an axe</p>
<p>Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stick</p>
<p>Q: When does the narwhal bacon
A: midnight</p>
<p>I got so drunk last night that i accidentally the WHOLE thing</p>
<p>Q: Why did Sally drown?
A: Heavy dumbbells were attached to her ankles.</p>
<p>Why did Sally fall off the swing?</p>
<h2>She had no arms…</h2>
<p>Knock Knock
Who’s there?</p>
<h2>Not Sally. She has no arms!</h2>
<p>LOL i love them all!</p>