Honestly, in the long term, yes, but I’d stay silent about it.
I have seen too many friends’ parents humiliate them in public about staying single. I’m not willing to risk the trust of my sons in adulthood over this.
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Haha I have always had the same reaction to “furbaby.” (ew - and I like pets a lot, lol!).
Then S got a puppy. The excitement (on his side and ours!). The photos! The video clips he sends where we “ooh ahh” over the most mundane pup antics!
We went to a wedding of one of his friends recently - none had kids yet, but so many of the guys proudly pulled out their phones to show me pictures of their dogs. It was really touching! lol
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I love my D and SIL’s “pup” (he’s I think 8 or 9 at least). But he’s not their kid or my granddog. My D, even before they had kids, made a point that he was their “buddy” not their baby.
“Furbaby” makes my skin crawl.
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I wasn’t going to comment because everyone is entitled to their opinion.
But since I was the one who suggested the the dog is the new grandchild.
Unfortunately my kid can’t have a baby at this time. It’s to be determined if she will every be able to get pregnant and deliver a baby. It’s not a matter of want but can’t. Most likely she will have to have a surrogate, she has embryos though!
She can call her dog whatever she wants. She can call my husband and I meemaw and pop pop. I’m ok with being the dog’s grandparent.
They’d like to have children. Today that feels far away. And I’m not going to complain about the way she and her fiancé treat their fur baby.
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My S is OIWAC. He isn’t interested in marriage or kids, although he’s open to a girlfriend if he meets one who wants the same things he wants (probably separate houses!). He did have a longtime GF who was on the same page on many things, but for a variety of reasons, it didn’t work out. My MIL is quite vocal about the fact that she thinks he would still be with his ex if he had married her (“he would have to work it out”), but she doesn’t know what actually happened & it’s not her business. I think it would be nice if H’s family would stop talking about how S needs a GF! My family doesn’t bat an eye at it … we have a long history of men who never married (and were just fine).
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What does OIWAC mean?
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One income with a cat!
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Maybe the ex girlfriend wanted a dog!
I don’t care if people call their animals fur babies. Why should I care about that as long as they don’t want me to say it? Live and let live. Let people call their pets whatever they want.
Ex loves cats but ceded custody to S, since she broke up with him. Quite civil!
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My kids have dogs. I still want grandchildren.
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I don’t mind when people refer to their kids’ pets as grand dog or grand cat, but the term “furbaby” somehow rubs me the wrong way. Maybe because biology? Pets outgrow the baby stage quite quickly! A year old cat is a mature adult, lol.
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On a related tangent, there is a lot of data to suggest that a significant percentage of males have dropped out of the dating market altogether, let alone the marriage market.
Some of this has to do with the continued success of women in education and the labor market combined with a sense that women want to go out with men who are at least as successful, at least as tall, at least as old as they are. [Back in the dark ages, I recall experiencing a surge of interest as it became clear that my economic prospects were very good – from a tall nerd scholar minor sport athlete, I became a less nerdy tall, older, high income prospect, athletic guy and I ticked the boxes on the husband checklist and it was actually a little scary]. As the median man drops in the income distribution relative to the median women, fewer and fewer males meet the minimum hurdles.
In addition, the substitution of dating apps for traditional social networks is very much akin to what happened to consultants when the economy globalized. The best consultants were now in demand from companies all over the world because the costs of working with someone in another country dropped. My business and income grew substantially because of globalization. The adoption of the internet (including decreasing costs of telecommunication) accelerated the trend. Dating apps do something of the same thing. They dramatically increase the ease of going into other social networks and decrease the search costs. But, that has meant that the top men (tall, good income, good looking) are in great demand from many more women. Women swipe right on something like 5% to 10% of all men so there is massive demand for the top 10% or 20% of men and almost no demand for the others. Women of the same age are probably judged by different standards and are often completely swamped by apparent interest on dating apps.
I would be particularly sad if my kids didn’t have committed partners. ShawSon is already married. ShawD is looking for a partner. She has actually met some pretty interesting folks dating. I’m not so worried about her but online dating is not pretty.
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Interesting.
Two things:
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The implication (true or not) that women are only interested in small pool of men goes both ways. I know young women (attractive, smart, interesting, fun, genuinely nice people, etc) who have a hard time dating because men don’t seem to be interested in THEM. These women are not in high powered careers though they have good jobs.
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So many articles I have seen lately focus on the fact that a good number of young women aren’t interested in having children. They don’t mention the role of men and that a lot of young men aren’t interested in having families either. These articles seem to imply that young women are “at fault” for lack of population growth.
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@FallGirl, I think both statements are valid.
ShawD is a family nurse practitioner who was medical director of her last clinic. As an experiment, she listed herself at different times as a nurse, a nurse practitioner and a medical director. She got the fewest indications of interest as a medical director and the most as a nurse. For better and for worse, I suspect that men are judging women by different standards. Both men and women value looks, but men are probably looking less for career and more for an indication of nurturing and caring. If ShawD’s little experiment is indicative, more ambitious careers may lessen male interest (obviously this is a generalization and does not apply to all men).
On the second point, I think there is a general sense of pessimism from males and females, which decreases the desire for kids. But, what seems to also be happening is that males are dropping out of the dating market altogether, well before the decision on having kids becomes relevant.
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D2 is turning 29 next month and has not had a serious bf for over a year now. She had a bad breakup 13 months ago and has dated some guys since then, but she says most of them have not been worth her time. D2 has tried the dating aps, but says she doesn’t care for most of the men she meets. I think she is really feeling at a crossroads about not have a serious partner since her sister is getting married next year and several close friends have gotten married or engaged. D2 does not want children, but would like to get married.
My 26 year old son says it’s rough out there. He is interested in marriage and kids, but finds that women at his education level and income bracket are not. He has found online dating to be a cesspool. I think part of the problem is where he lives, more family oriented than set up for singles.
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My older son is married but the younger one is not. He’s had a girlfriend in the past but it’s been awhile. He is tall, has a good income, and is good looking (which shawbridge says women are looking for!). Plus , he’s a nice guy but just doesn’t seem motivated to get out there and figure out the dating situation or try online dating.
His last girlfriend of 2+ years pursued him first but what are the odds of that happening again ! At least he has plenty of friends and hobbies . But, many of his friends are either married, engaged or dating already. He just came back from a friend’s wedding this weekend in Big Sur and is in another friend’s wedding in early June. He’s only 32 but I do wonder when or if he’ll start stepping up his game and get back into dating.
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My son is 6’2”, built, and has all his hair! 
He says good looking girls his age date older men. He had a girlfriend for 6 years, since high school, and I don’t think he knows where to start with meeting women.
I get it, @socalmom007 , My son is 6’5, slim, handsome, athletic, also has all his hair, and has a great job. There is part of me that just doesn’t get it but I try to keep my mouth shut for the most part and not push him. But, I do admit that every few months I do ask him in private if he’s doing any dating. Like your son, he doesn’t seem to have figured out how to meet women! And he’s never been the type of guy to be frequenting the bars for women to hook up with.