My son will try to go out to bars with his friends here or there, he’s tried line dancing too, but he’s not meeting women he has anything in common with. I’m not sure what the answer is, I’m trying to get him to go to the singles services at our church! We’ll see if he gets desperate enough to take his mom’s advice.
Yeah, he goes to bars with friends but that’s usually to watch a game, or just to hang out. He has an active social life but it doesn’t seem to involve dating right now! Of course, there could be things he’s not telling me!
Y’all are making me feel better about ds2. Almost none of his friends are in a relationship so I knew that he wasn’t alone. He’s going to a college friend’s wedding this summer, and she’s the first one of his many friends. That’s a little surprising to me as they are all in their late 20s.
My kids are 26 and 27. Both met their boyfriends in college. Most of the weddings they’ve been to are of friends who also met their mates in college I think one married a guy who lived in the apartment next to the one she and my daughter were living in.
The daughter who is engaged mostly has friends from college but she and her BF have made a point of joining activities to meet other people in their age group by joining a volleyball league (neither played volleyball before but both are athletes) and doing activities they otherwise wouldn’t do (duck hunting?) with friends to meet more friends. They haven’t been as lucky meeting neighbors as they are younger and most of the neighbors are a lot older.
(But has this gotten me grandchildren? NO)
Ha ha! My son was an all state volleyball player and still plays volleyball all the time, on at least a couple teams at
My daughter is joining a community rugby league… not a rugby player
On another note, about the disparity in education and income level by gender referenced in the article above. This actually came up with my adult kids arguing about which of them would die alone and barren. My daughter (23) is applying to MBA programs and her brother (26) seems to think this is the kiss of death for her dating life, she’ll be over educated and undatable and should just get more cats. Obviously, she told her brother he was a Neanderthal fool, but it’s interesting this is something young adults are talking about.
This is something a lot of high-earning women seem to complain about - that men don’t want to date them because they earn a lot.
I assume it’s similar to the men who tell themselves that women only want to date bad guys (which is clearly not true).
Dating apps are still very, very hard as a male. I have a relatively great job as well so that doesn’t seem to help as much these days.
I think that dating apps exacerbate the sociobiology in our natures.
Bars are a particularly bad place to meet mates. Loud so hard to talk. Alcohol aplenty.
Probably a much better place to find a hookup. Given that you can’t talk much, looks probably become more important.
Activities like cycling groups that are not gender-segregated (unfortunately, volleyball usually is gender-segregated) and especially activities that extend your existing social network (e.g., parties in which your friends invite their friends, hiking, cycling groups) are much more likely to produce relationships. Church or synagogue, but most kids are not affiliated anymore.
Yes it’s a problem for highly successful women who want to date equals or above. Equally successful men prefer beauty and someone who will look up to them
Actually, there’s plenty of coed volleyball leagues out there.
Maybe we should organize a CC mixer!
My son also feels his sister is at a disadvantage because she is also tall. Tall and over educated leaves her a very small pool in his estimation.
It’s so weird, all of the social networking in the world and young people are lonelier than ever.
If her career scares them away, screw ‘em! Not worth the time to meet them!
If your kids live in a city that has Volo adult sports leagues, that is a great co-ed mixing opportunity. Volo is a foundation that provides sports and play programming for city kids. The adult leagues are mostly “social” sports - kickball, softball, bocce, corn hole etc. The registration fees to join the various leagues go to supporting free athletic programs for kids. Volo is really big in DC. My D played kickball last year, and this year she is a paid kickball ref, and also a paid social hostess for the winter indoor leagues (which are held at bars.) She loves it! In DC the Volo kickball fields are right next to the Washington Monument, so very cool setting as well. After the games, everyone heads to a local bar for a flip cup competition - a chance to earn your team more points in the standings, and of course to socialize!
I’m sure we could also start a thread with bazillions of successful dating apps stories.
And BTW, “successful” doesn’t have to = marriage. It’s a dating app. Not a marriage app. You can have a few dates with someone, recognize you’re not a couple to continue dating but still recognize you had a few nice enough dates.
D was already married when she went back for her MBA, but almost every one of her female MBA friends are either married or with a long time partner
ETA: .No idea if they own cats…
Good heavens, have we gone backwards? I have a number of friends that are better educated & have better jobs than their significant others … and they are in their 60s. None of the guys in my circle ever cared. In fact, they would have joked about how awesome it is to have a sugar mama.
More than a few years ago, a friend tried different dating programs (not all apps) and she took a ‘how to make dating work’ session too. One tip was to date every match 5 times before calling it quits. It worked for her, and she stuck with the first guy for 5 dates even though she wanted to quit after date one. They’ve been married for 26 years. Both were about 40 and neither had ever been married before.
My sister (the snob) declared she’d never marry anyone with less than a masters degree. (To give her a little credit, she said she rarely met anyone with less than a masters) She been with her partner for a long time (their daughter is almost 30) and he has only a BS. They met through a friend he went to undergrad with and who she worked with (he had more than a BS) He’s (the partner, not the co-worker) also put up with her all these years (we don’t know how).
The new (to me anyway) show Jewish Matchmaker says to keep dating until you just don’t want to do it any more. Meh date? Keep dating. Don’t think it’s going to work? Keep dating until you KNOW it isn’t going to work. she also tells them not to discuss children or marriage or exes on the first date but they all do it anyway.
My kids report that dating apps for younger 20s are more just for hookups. I know of many people in their 30s and 40s who’ve met people on match and e harmony, but not so much younger people.
D1 has been dating her “coffee meets bagel” BF for more than 5 years and will likely get engaged soon.
D2 has met new friends that did t work as BF’s but are great friends D’s on dating apps.
Let’s give young adults a little more credit than just hooking up.