I have a story about that.
Before we moved we belonged to a church and on a Sunday several years ago our (Episcopal) priest said something in a sermon about bars not being a good place to meet anyone for a serious relationship. I looked at 2 of my good friends who were sitting near me and we were all trying not to laugh. You guessed it - we all met our spouses in bars! So far all of these marriages have lasted decades.
I will just say that we never encouraged our D to scale back her career plans because it would lesson her chances to marry. To their credit my own parents didn’t do that with my sister and me.
Anecdotally, a number of young women I know who are MBA’s, PHD’s , Attorneys, Physicians, etc. are married or with partners.
ShawSon met his wife on a dating app. It was his third pass at using apps. The first pass was when he graduated from college but stayed in the college town. The goal @abasket was precisely to find someone to have fun with for the year. He did, although his experience with the app overall was so-so. Same with the second pass. He wasn’t impressed with who he was meeting.
The third time was when he was a venture-back co-founder of a Silicon Valley startup with graduate degrees from an elite school (plus 6’4"). He was inundated with interest. Scheduled three zoom calls a night. Went out with only the ones who passed whatever hurdle he had. Then went out on a pre-planned first and second dates. He was sure after the third date that he found the one – she was sure after the second. She is impressive. Bright, successful, determined, resilient, pretty, full of energy. They are crazy about each other. She shares a number of his nerdy interests and his love of the outdoors. They celebrate each others’ strengths. She occasionally beats him at her favorite board game (which it turned out he plays for fun and is ranked in the top 100 in the world). Life is good.
Are you… are you humble bragging through your kid lol?
Congrats on your kid finding a girlfriend in seriousness though. Being 6ft 4 is definitely a plus.
My S found his GF with online dating app about 6 years ago. They get along very well and are marrying later this year. I’m not sure they would have ever met if not online but they are very compatible!
@kelsmom, I think that we have gone backwards. it feels to me like the dating apps provide a much rawer version of evolutionary biology than we had back when we met folks through our social networks.
@twoinanddone, the Jewish matchmaker’s advice is probably wise. When we observe ShawD and others, they seem to discard folks far too soon. ShawWife would never have chosen me from my bio. Indeed, people tried to set us up by describing me to her. Several times, she said, “No thanks. He sounds boring.” So the fixer-uppers fixed us up without telling us. On our second date, she had figured out that I was the guy she thought was boring but told her roommate, “He is the most interesting person I’ve ever met.” Fooled her. And, I found a wonderful partner in life. But in a dating app world, we would never have met.
Well, these recent posts are certainly depressing to the mom of a soon-to-be 26 year old ds.
Especially since he is not particularly TALL. He’s only 5’9”. But, he is quite handsome (he looks like Keanu Reeves - I’m not kidding), and he is kind and thoughtful and smart and funny and, and, and! I’m sure I have some mom bias going on.
Ds has only had one girlfriend that I am aware of. She most certainly was equal to him from an educational standpoint, although in a very different field. I can’t imagine my ds holding educational levels against a potential partner whether higher or lower than his. I mean, I can’t see him dating a high school drop out, but I’m surprised at learning this seems to be a factor to men. I am more, “educated,” than his dad. He met her on Hinge, which I believe is supposed to be an app for younger folks looking for more committed relationships. They dated for about six months. We only met her once for a long weekend when she came to visit. They broke up a week later! Ds assured me it wasn’t because of me. Ha ha. I wasn’t sad it didn’t work out - she had many wonderful attributes, but I just didn’t see her as, “the one.”
My ds is in an MBA program now, but I have no idea how many of the women (or men) are married or in committed relationships. I had kind of hoped he might meet someone in grad school - you know, meeting in a more, “organic,” way. However, I don’t think that has happened. I kind of wonder if he is just gun shy after the breakup or if he is just not settled enough about where he will be after he graduates next year to think it’s worth it to try and date someone. Ds is quite pragmatic, and part of the reason he and the GF broke up was because of logistical challenges which would have necessitated doing long-distance. I can see him avoiding dating so as to avoid that same scenario from happening again. But, sheesh - their b-school formal is next weekend. Just get a date!
I would love some grandchildren, but I am not entitled to those. Ds has said he would like to marry and have children. I hate to think that won’t happen for him. Seeing that the average age for men to marry is 30 is somewhat encouraging. I think some of that has to do with where one was raised. Many of his close guy high school friends are already married (from flyover country). However, none of his college and only one of his post college friends has gotten married. It’s not educational levels - all the high school friends who are married have at least Bachelor’s degrees. Some in grad and PhD programs now. But most of the college and post-college friends are from the coasts. One good post college friend and his girlfriend have been dating for four years and are now living together.
I think young couples don’t marry because the women don’t push the issue. Why they don’t push the issue is likely because of many of the reasons already stated in this thread.
For what it’s worth, S and fiancée met in late 20s and both “only” have bachelors degrees and both earn good money and are financially responsible. She works as a VP in admin for a national bank and he’s an entrepreneur (has EE degree). Both are “short.” I think S is about 5’6” and she’s slightly shorter.
Tallness(so don’t be discouraged on that) and good looks are still no guarantee! My son is 6’5 and nice looking and he’s still single! His only major girlfriend (and she pursued him) was a Harvey Mudd CS grad. He’s an engineer grad but from a state school but she didn’t seem too concerned about his credentials! 
I’ve got a 5’10” daughter for him… 
Education is important to ds2, which I find obnoxious. He went to a hoity-toity school and wants someone who did as well.
Cool @socalmom007 My other son is 6’6 and his wife is 5’10. She played volleyball for a Patriot League School. There are definitely men out there that like and appreciate tall women!
I think it’s less about education level (almost everyone these days have at least BS) but more about how driven and professionally successful person is. Many successful women now have very high salaries and not every man is comfortable dating someone who makes twice of what they do. It makes them feel less of a man.
My husband never minded my height or my masters degree, but what do I know 
“It makes them feel less of a man.” I’m not sure that is fair to many men. There are plenty of men out there who are very supportive of high achieving women.
My S and his partner seem very happy that both are doing very well and even relocated for fiancées career. S is still fine with being entrepreneur in most places in US.
I seem to know a lot of younf couples who live together for a very long time-like 8-10 years. They seem to eventually marry mostly to have children.
S2 moved overseas five years ago, was going out somewhat regularly, but not really finding anyone. (His heart was broken in his first year of college, and it took YEARS before he was willing to date again.) Met fiancee in September 2020 on Tinder. She was a little surprised at his wild curly hair (she should have seen it a few years prior!), but she told me she knew early on that “he is a good man” and that she could work with the rest. They’ll have been together three years when they get married in September. Both want kids. (I would never ask, but they each told me they did.) They’ve been through Covid and war together. She’s 6’0" and 32, he’s 6’4" and 31. They complement each other quite well.
I was so thankful my parents never asked me about when/if we were going to have kids. My MIL, however, had zero filters and was fairly aggressive about it. Infertility treatment was bad enough without having to get into that topic, and that informs why I keep my nose out of asking my sons about grandkids. Ironically, I finally told my parents a month before we got pregnant that I’d been going through treatment.
Thumbs down on meeting people in a bar for dating.
Thumbs down for dating apps.
Church? Nope, many young people do not attend religious services.
College is for hooking up.
If you’re a male, better be tall. If you’re female, better not be tall.
I mean, what kind of chance do young adults have of finding parent/society approved space or mates?! Part of the story of a long term relationship IS how you met or how your relationship progressed. Bar, or matchmaking, or in the line at the grocery store. Love at first sight. Or “didn’t really like him at first”.
Best advice is to give young adults the gift of time. Time to explore, develop, experiment with different people, nurture a relationship, and importantly, nurture themselves. Marriage and/or parenthood are a result, but not the only result of a happy person or couple.
This “met in a gym, first date was bar hopping, and neither wanted anything serious” couple will hit 29 years of marriage next month. You never know, lol.
Short people get married. Tall people get married. But being 5-10, I can relate to feeling awkward with someone significantly shorter than me. (H is 5-11.) But I probably wouldn’t notice 5-9. I work with mostly men, and I only notice a difference if someone is say < 5-8 or > 6-2. We all just seem the same.