I don’t dismiss the feelings. I just don’t understand them based on the knowledge of human history. I think there is a great deal of fear and neurosis at play here. I don’t think everyone should have children. And obviously birth control and the economic emancipation of women has had a huge (and mostly beneficial) effect. Charlotte Lucas doesn’t have to marry Mr. Collins anymore. She can move to London and get a job and a flat.
I do believe that anti-natalism is a nihilist and anti-humanist stance.
Yes,want our kids to have kids when their ready. It’s really interesting to me how many kids don’t want children. Some of our employees, women, don’t want any. Of course we want our kids to have life partners and happiness etc but at some point we want grandkids.
Well, married couples do have biological ties in the sense that they (mostly) procreate and share responsibility for those offspring. By “families of choice” I mean loose groupings of friends brought together by geographical proximity and shared SES. These people have no legal obligation to each other.
I would like my children to find loving, supportive partners. Life is hard and having a partner makes hard things less hard. I would also like them to have children for their own benefit. Having children was the most transformative and fulfilling life experience for me and my husband. I would love for my children to live a fulfilling life with purpose. Children give us purpose. It’s hard, yes, but so are many other things. My daughter would like children, my son not so much. But he’s 16 so I wouldn’t expect much different of an opinion at this point. Whatever comes their way, I’m happy to be their parent.
Yes, I don’t think having children is necessary to validate a marriage. But marriage is a legal obligation. The “family of choice” is a loose group that you can abandon easily without any legal or social implications. It is a term used by people who consider friend groups the equivalent of family, which it is not IMHO.
Not so much in agreement about the having kids part, but I definitely agree that having a loving partner to walk with you through life makes it a much easier journey.
I’ve had to work on my sadness at not having grandkids, my only son is the last of our family name and bloodline.
I would be ok if it truly was his desire to be childless but he would like kids someday, however being a gay man on a limited income he will unlikely find the means to adopt or find a surrogate
If he’s really interested in having kids he might like to look at fostering to adopt. I have a couple of friends who have done that — one a single mom.
I’ve had people refer to D’s dogs as my granddogs. No, no, NO! I shut that down right away.
On the other hand, people I like and respect use the term for their own children’s pets. Fine. I try to keep my cringes hidden.
As to human grandchildren, I expect one D will have kids. The other, I have no idea. Would I like grandchildren? Yes, but I don’t push and I don’t ask. They’ll share with me when they want me to know.
100% no to furbaby. Grandcat? Good term to kids. When the grands (big kid’s kids) visit us, they seem to really enjoy interacting with the “grand” cats (our 3 cats - all courtesy of little kid). The cats don’t mind the attention because… treats!
My sister in law and her husband have a long history of pushing their only child into relationships. They get so invested, and they have pushed him into two engagements. They are upset that he hasn’t set a wedding date after getting engaged last November (and the previous engagement ended less than a year before that). They even pushed my S & his longtime now-ex GF about getting engaged when he visited them. I don’t understand it. Our adult children should be able to choose or not choose marriage on their own timeline, without mom & dad (or relatives) meddling.
Many people have referenced that it can be hard to “have” kids and are referring to the conceiving and birthing part. For me it is often hard to “have” kids - like for the 50 ish years there after. I would die for my kids. I ADORE babies. I would love to have grandkids someday. My chances are good I think - based on what my kids have indicated.
But absolutely NO ONE should have kids who doesn’t want them - and badly - and they need to have a ton of support over the many parenting years. I’m in the thick of it and for me it’s been really really hard. Even though I love them beyond reason.
One of mine is in the probably won’t have kids camp. He doesn’t have much hope for the planet. But an older friend told me each of her three children said they didn’t want kids and then one by one they fell in love with people who do want kids. They all had kids.
kids. When the grands (big kid’s kids) visit us, they seem to really enjoy interacting with the “grand” cats (our 3 cats - all courtesy of little kid). The cats don’t mind the attention because… treats! 
