I call that being overbearing!
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The tall comments can get old, but we take them all in stride. I’d guess they’re less annoying than comments about being short. Women over 6’ (there are lots in our family) can get some especially annoying attention, however.
Our 6’4" son is the antithesis of athletic but does get asked about sports. We all think it’s funny. He looks like a meathead jock but is a complete dweeb, which becomes apparent when you look more closely at his mannerisms and clothing choices. He’s even come up with an alter ego persona and name for himself to match the assumptions people make about his appearance.
I’ve been listening to a podcast for a while now that talks about body image, culture etc…the proposal on this week’s episode is “do not comment on other people’s bodies.” Period; end of story!
I like this…I’ve sometimes said (what I think are) complimentary things to someone who isn’t a close friend (maybe noticing a new hair style). I realized that the safest route is a bright line- just say nothing about someone’s body or appearance (height, weight, hair, pregnancy status, attractiveness, etc. etc.). Even for close friends, something to be careful about (I reallize I’ve said, “you look great!” [when someone lost a lot of weight]" (the subtext: “you looked not great before”!).
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That can go both ways. When people (husband, BF, etc) don’t compliment it’s upsetting. In our family we compliment each other a lot. DD’s BF comes from the family that doesn’t and it results in friction between them. He is trainable though so I think it will be fine 
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Many years ago, there used to be a Safeway in DC nicknamed the “social Safeway”.
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@RookieCollegeMom ,That’s funny. I just googled to find out which DC Safeway that might be and it ended up being the local Safeway for son and his wife! Less than a mile from their home. We just got back from visiting them for the weekend today and they mentioned they have 4 stores they like nearby-Wegman’s, Whole Foods , Trader Joe’s and that Safeway!
Yes- I think it was in Georgetown.
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Yup, H worked in DC one summer and I came down from Philadelphia to visit (we’d been married 4.5 years at that point). We went to the Social Safeway every weekend to get him groceries for the coming week!
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Did not know that. I only played in competitive leagues (EIVA, AAU) back in the dark ages. No coed teams. No doubt that has changed now, though it looks like EIVA and AAU have different leagues for males and females.
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Or maybe different culture.
In my opinion this article brings up interesting things the younger generation may be considering concerning marriage/parenthood. Having both a son and a daughter, I can see both sides.
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When I started reading this I didn’t expect to agree with the woman so whole-heartedly. That was interesting. Thanks for sharing.
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I agree. Those of us with high achieving daughters and have witnessed the evolution of marriage in our lifetime may understand the position of the woman in the article.
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I think the key here is that they are not legally married and therefore, there are no legal obligations for the “husband”. Were they legally married and had their finances comingled, this discussion would not have taken place. I think the real issue here is about how tricky it is to handle finances, having a child, ownership of property, in a relationship that is not a legal marriage.
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Totally get it. My daughter is already planning a contract for splitting work at home if she ever finds a partner.
It is difficult to combine a job, creative work and a family and it is sounding more and more like two of my three, at least, won’t have kids. I support their choices. However it is sad to hear about kids as an obstacle in life.
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What struck me was the irrational belief that marriage is outdated and both people in this relationship should permanently be free to move on if “things change”. They are structuring their entire relationship and finances around this concept, when really they should be committing to each other both emotionally and financially. Since they appear to have had very similar careers and wealth (prior to considering having children), merging their finances would actually have been easier than for many other couples.
It felt like an echo of the luxury beliefs idea that marriage is outdated, just this time affecting an elite couple negatively instead of the lower classes:
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It is strange to me that in a time when gay couples want to marry to get legal rights, other couples are shunning marriage and foregoing those legal rights.
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I wouldn’t want to have a child with someone that wasn’t willing to have a financial responsibility to me. I traded in much of my earning potential to raise four kids. If my husband decided to walk away, I cannot get that earning potential back.
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This is what stuck out to me …
"… she’s amazing at what she does, and I’m so proud to be able to introduce her as my wife and explain what she does.”
Yep, you found yourself one smart cookie, bud. You treat her like an intelligent trophy wife but don’t like it when that intelligence is used against your wishes.
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