Crotch goblins?!?!?
That’s a new one (to me).
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This topic is heartwarming for me. That so many people are so supportive of the choices our children are making.
I think we as a society (at least this society) have really evolved. That our best wishes are for our kids happiness, whatever form that takes.
No one has talked about children that are LGBTQ and how that affects them having children. But now there are options for all to marry and have children, no matter their circumstances
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This is actually a whole new topic which is frankly disturbing. I do not doubt it’s existence. Much of this has to do with social media etc. I’m assuming.
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If each of pair of human beings in this country don’t have at least 2 kids, our carefully constructed ponzi scheme of a retirement system (social security) will catastrophically fall apart. What is good for the individual (freedom) is not good for society.
There is also a large amount of evidence that those kids are better off inside marriages than outside of them.
I haven’t had any indepth conversations with my kids about this, but I heard of a friend’s kid who thinks that gender relations have deteriorated a lot over the years, and frankly feels uncomfortable getting married. This is one kind of dystopian thinking :-). This is a boy.
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The book shares snippets of interviews with 23 women. They range in age (26-73) and have a variety of circumstances. I felt the author wanted to give women permission to question motherhood without judgment. But I also believe she said something along the line of not wanting the interviews to devolve into a complaint session.
The aim of the study was to show the complex feelings and experiences of motherhood so women can find themselves in the spectrum. The author said it was never intended to make or create generalizations about motherhood.
So to answer your question I would say some of both. In fact the title of the first chapter is “Paths to Motherhood” which addresses societal and familial expectations along with messaging. The second chapter is “Demanding Motherhood” which I found particularly provocative and probably is more like the articles you’re talking about.
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I want my daughters to be happy in their life choices, full stop. If that includes children, great. If not, it’s not my life and choices.
#1D got married this summer. I don’t believe they’ll have kids. #2D has been with her BF for years, and I assume at some point they’ll marry. If either have kids, it will be her. But again, it’s not my life.
My H and his sibling lived a lot of years with the knowledge that their mom was ambivalent about kids and only had them because it “was the thing to do.” Be for them 100% or not at all.
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I’m going to guess that you meant the rate of growth of the US population, @gouf78, because the population is not dropping. Obviously more people now than in 1776.
The rate of growth has slowed (still positive growth, just not as rapid) due to COVID and reduced immigration, but the overall population numbers are not the lowest in the history of the US. The population is, of course, the highest in history because the population of the US is seemingly ever expanding and growing but the rate of that growth was slower for 2021 —maybe because people didn’t want to have children during a world wide pandemic. Still growing, though, and not decreasing.
@yearstogo is correct that the world population is increasing. Contrary to popular belief the US does not equal the world. Whether the world is overpopulated or not I’ll leave it to others to decide, but there are more people in the US and the world than ever before.
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Or we could just fix it?
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100% with you on this.
100% not with you on this. The term “breeders” has been around for a long time. Great 80s/90s band by that name. Never heard of “crotch goblins” but it’s kind of hilarious.
Overpopulation is a big concern for sure, but if we don’t do anything about it the planet will. Drought, fires, floods, famine, disease—that’ll knock that population right back. See also, COVID-19.
Not really. Population continues to steadily increase. Now, you have a point that supports for children and parents are lacking, but I am not aware of any evidence that it is hard for teens and 20-somethings to get pregnant. They may choose not to but that’s their choice.
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To be honest, there is a part of me that hopes my kids don’t have kids. They both have said they don’t want any and that is what I imagine will happen. I’d be pleased if they did I guess and would certainly love any grandkids but dang, kids are hard work! Neither of my two are partnered yet so we’ll just wait and see, but I am happy with the kittens for now.
We have 9 nieces and nephews in their 30s and 2 of the 7 couples have 1 kid each. (2 of the nieces and nephews are single. ) None of my cousins’ kids (5 of them also all in their 30s) have kids. And these are pretty disparate folks from investment bankers, to pharmacists, business logistics, to artists, civil servants, teachers — liberals and conservatives.
I do think these things tend to run in families. My nieces and nephews all married and had at least 2 children.
It will be interesting to see, with a renewed emphasis on work life balance and less career oriented focus among Gen Z, what choices that cohort makes. As the oldest are about 24, they have some time to decide.
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Large macro economics problems are hard to fix – problems like fewer people are working and more people are retired in some 20 years.
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We have 7 nieces and nephews on my husband’s side and 2 on my side. I think mine and his have met once. One of the 2 on my side and one of the 7 on his side each have one child. My husband’s nieces and nephews are all very liberal. My niece and nephew are more moderate. My nephew is in finance.
My cousins’ kids on my moms side have never met my husband’s nieces and nephews, not really family. I mistyped earlier and they do have 1 kid between the 6 of them (not counting spouses). These are the more conservative “kids” — I know many of their parents (my cousins) vote Republican. The oldest “kid” is 44 and he’s the one with a little girl. He’s a chiropractor.
My oldest cousin on my mom’s side remarried and her husband has two daughters. One is lesbian and she and her wife have 1 kid I think, maybe 2. I haven’t seen them in ages.
On my dad’s side my cousins have one daughter and she is 30 or 31 and unmarried and I have never heard of or met a boyfriend (or girlfriend). She’s a doctor of physical therapy and her dad (my cousin) is retired law enforcement and was a big Trump supporter.
I am just mentioning the politics because I can’t find any pattern in it. Seems like the kids from conservative backgrounds and from liberal backgrounds are delaying or not having kids or if they do just 1.
So me and my husband and our siblings and my cousins make 13 adults of grandparent 
age but just 4 are grandparents.
I would be sad if I didn’t have at least one grandchild, but would never put pressure on either of my daughters to have kids. D1 is engaged and really wants to have kids, so I think chances are good that I will get to be a grandma. D2 is 28 and not currently in a long term relationship and has said since she was 15 that she does not want children.
I have a friend that never had children and loves the life with her husband and the career that she built and is very happy with her decision. I have a second friend that suffered from years of infertility issues (before I knew her) and really wanted to be a mother. Her H was not open to adopt so they never had children. I know that this friend regrets never getting to have children although her and her husband have a great life and are now enjoying retirement she has said to me that she still is sad she never got to be a mother.
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This may be another discussion too, but I am firmly of the opinion that whenever possible people having families should not stop at one child. I am not necessarily going to bat for a third or sixth or sixteenth offspring, but I believe two is better than one. They learn so much more about sharing, the family dynamics are more nuanced, and for many it delays the onset of being treated like an adult a couple years. (I’m talking about not giving phones to six year olds regardless of their ability to use one. I’m not talking about 35 year olds who don’t grow up at all, as that seems to happen in all family sizes.) They can amuse themselves when needed, they have a built-in companion on family outings (even if they don’t become best friends in the long run) and there’s someone to share the load when the parents require care.
As I said, just my opinion, not a rule but do it when possible, but I really think I’m right. 
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I don’t think anybody is right. My great grandmother was an only child, my grandmother was an only child, but she had 6 kids. No iPhone, iPad, i anything at the time.
I think for my kids, they can stop after one kid. I almost stopped after one kid.
I think my opinion is the only one that matters, haha, actually matter to me, not everyone else. Take that.
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With all do respect, I don’t think that’s right. People should have the amount of kids that work best for them. I know a lot of wonderful only children who are well adjusted and have no trouble sharing with others and making friends. I also know a lot of people with siblings who complain that none of their siblings help with caring for aging parents. At least only children aren’t expecting anyone else to help, so it’s not like they end up disappointed. The most selfish and entitled person I’ve ever known was one of 5 children. I don’t think anyone’s opinion is right, it’s just an opinion. I think as long as the parents are loving and happy with their choices, that’s all that matters. The unhappy only children I know are unhappy because their parents constantly kept talking about how they wished they had more kids…doesn’t make for a happy home life…
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Oh yeah? I know several only children whose spouses think that only children are a bad idea because of how their husbands turned out. 
It’s all anecdata, which is why I characterized it so. No fights, just a world of experiences coming to chat.
Marriage is already skewed to be far more prevalent among upper SES. I suppose children will be as well soon.
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I have to tell you that your post brought me to tears. I have an only child. She’s an amazing young woman. She didn’t need a sibling to learn about sharing or nuanced family dynamics or anything else. She grew up with extended family, cousins, and plenty of friends.
The tears were because she wasn’t an only by choice. Her brother died and medically we were advised not to try for a third. We talked about adoption but H wasn’t on board. I have three other friends with only children. None were by choice. I realize you prefaced you post by “whenever possible” but your comment still really struck a nerve.
It reminded me when I was a new mom to our D and two women told me I wasn’t a “real mom” because I only had one child.
Family size is no one else’s business and comments can be unintentionally very hurtful.
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