Yes, those comments really are hurtful. And to be honest, every only child I’ve met has been delightful, people just love to help enforce stereotypes, which is a shame.
That’s an age old stereotype that needs to go away. And it is anecdotal. And husbands turning out bad can be the result of bad parenting, not how many kids are in the house.
That’s a shame, because marriage can help people become more financially stable. Two live together cheaper then one
Well, I have an only child. He loves being one. He was and is the most mature, independent child/young man/adult you’ll ever meet, no delayed adult onset, quite the contrary. And, he has a heart for service; not a selfish bone in his body.
We weren’t planning on having any children and were told we couldn’t, but somehow I found myself almost four months pregnant at 39. I had DH spayed shortly after as insurance against a repeat. One was plenty for us. I always shake my head at those with multiples. I mean, if you’ve gone through that once, what in the world would possess you to do it again? Nothing on earth could make me repeat that process.
See? People are different. 
I got pregnant at a drop of a hat, even at age 30 and 35, but my husband also didn’t want anymore after 2. He’s the kind of husband that did more than half the household chores. If anything I don’t think my kids with be able to find the same kind of husband either, yeah, I’m lucky. I also convinced my husband that fathers who’re more involved raising girls, the girls most likely turn out to be more successful, they won’t see raising kids as solely a female role.
I too have an only child. People should not judge the number of children others have. Your family is what is right for you. When I was asked, I told people I didn’t need another child as I had gotten the perfect one the first time. (BTW - asking this question was very rude in my opinion, just as rude as asking when you are having your first child).
My only is well adjusted, mature, and independent. She never wanted a sibling (except for a brief period as a child when she said she would have liked a twin!)
I also hate when people say you aren’t a real parent if you only have one! How ridiculous - you are just as much a parent with one as with six (probably a more attentive parent with 1 vs 6)
I am the only child. My kids are 11 years apart. The biggest moving factor in my decision to have a second child was one discussion I had with my dad when he mentioned that one of his big regrets was not having a second child. My dad was a very wise man. I do think that it’s better for kids to grow up with siblings when possible. I am at ease that when we are not around kids have each other. It’s depends on a family dynamics though. My kids are very close. My mom had two siblings but they were not close at all. My husband has a brother. They are very close as well. I don’t know why some siblings are close and some not, but when they are, that’s a closest relationship possible after parents- children in my opinion
My cousins (4 plus myself) all have at least one child (10 total) - not one of those “children” (ages 16-34) have had any children, nor are any in any variation of a long-term relationship. Not sure what I’m driving at other than from where I sit, this younger generation doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to be in a serious relationship or procreate - interestingly, all of these “children” live all around the world, and none live near others (other than their own siblings).
I see that as well, they are delaying. My husband’s niece had one kid at 38 and the second one at 40, both through natural birth and not caesarean, no infertility problem. Not only that she adopted her husband’s first kid, his first wife didn’t want the boy after they divorced. So far they look healthy, so my kids probably will get married late and have kids late.
Given that some have ambivalence or regrets regarding their own child-bearing, it would be reasonable to assume their children might adopt a similar position
A young woman my kids were friends with growing up is 31 & has 6 kids. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has more. My kids say that she had enough to make up for their one & none.
BTW, she doesn’t work outside the home, and they are very low income (but doing fine, because they are able to make it on his salary). The large family is a choice. To each their own.
Not necessarily. A lot of lower SES people have children without marriage.
Yes, it seems likely to be bipolar, with peaks among the poor and rich, and not as common in the middle class. My doctor today mentioned that 40% of US births are funded by medicaid. 42% in 2020.
That’s a start! Hopefully the rest will be one of these days–my D and her H, with private insurance through work, paid thousands for each of their two births. And continue to pay thousands for their healthcare, on a very modest income. But I guess that’s another story.
All for a single payor medical system, but not sure there is anything to celebrate that 40% of children are born into poverty currently
I am gobsmacked that anyone would say having only one child doesn’t qualify you as a real parent. The ignorance AND audacity is amazing.
Of course not.However, we need more programs to support and change that. No one thinks it’s okay. It’s also partly because the ACA expanded Medicaid eligibility, which is a good start.
About 26% of the population is enrolled in medicaid. Disproportionately likely to give birth, apparently.
Older people and disabled people are on Medicare, so those on Medicaid are probably not as different from the general non-Medicare population. Also, families can be on Medicaid when single people are not. Many women are kicked off Medicaid after they give birth.
You would have to compare what percent of women of childbearing age are on Medicaid, not the entire population, to get the result you are looking for more accurately. Whatever the point is you are wanting to make.
Let’s move off of Medicaid please and get back to topic.
It’s really amazing how some people have no shame and are that ignorant. You’re a parent weather you have 1 kid or 6 kids. And being a good or bad parent has nothing to do with how many kids you do or don’t have…