<p>"A paragraph is like a skirt. It needs to be long enough to cover all the important details, but still be short enough to be interesting."</p>
<p>I heard something similar to this once.</p>
<p>"An essay is like a skirt, the shorter the sweeter, but it's gotta be long enough to cover the parts."</p>
<p>Or something like that.</p>
<p>English Teacher:
"Peace out gangstas!!" lol
"Super human deluxe!"</p>
<p>After we finished reciting some shakespeare on stage in the auditorium:
"I have a great idea!! Lets pretend we just won an oscar and we have to go on stage and give an acceptance speech." lol and some people actually did it</p>
<p>8th grade science teacher "God made cows so we could eat them"</p>
<p>Some girl in my science class "Why do zebras have stripes?"
My Science teacher " Because God made them that way."</p>
<p>And I go to a public school.</p>
<p>A substitute for my English class wrote this on the board yesterday:</p>
<p>Finish worksheet and turn it in. Start reading the novel. Then maybe... maybe...</p>
<p>Student: Maybe what?
Teacher: Oh, I don't know, maybe we'll all go to the land of milk and honey and ponies will come! I like black ponies.
Student: Uh, don't black ponies come from hell?
Teacher: All ponies come from hell!</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>hahahaha.<br>
HAHAHAHA.</p>
<p>"all ponies come from hell"</p>
<p>You have no idea how true that is!</p>
<p>Orchestra teacher: </p>
<p>"When this school first opened, I made a five-year plan...."</p>
<p>"Stop having social intercourse" - 9th grade english teacher.</p>
<p>"Do you a want a cookie" - Spanish 3 teacher with her heavy spanish accent.</p>
<p>"I forgot my cua-fee (coffee)"-Geometry teacher from New York.</p>
<p>"Forget your homework and you'll be hanged from the 20 ft fence on the soccer field" - 10th grade English teacher</p>
<p>"What did the seed say when it sprouted from the ground? Gee-om-a-tree (Geometry)!" - Substitute for Geometry. Funny because it was corny lol.</p>
<p>I know there are better ones, I just can't think of them right now.</p>
<p>Someone wrote on the board in my 10th grade spanish class:
"Yo tengo un gato en mi pantalones"</p>
<p>:D Love it. And my English teacher is funny. She calls a table with a bunch of bengali's "Little Bangladesh".</p>
<p>....
does that mean "I want a cat in my pants?"</p>
<p>I don't speak spanish, haha, but my crazy cuban science teacher yells in espanol enough for me to pick up a bit :p</p>
<p>It means I have a cat in my pants :D But that was close. </p>
<p>Our spanish teacher was the funniest. We definitely learned the words "No Chicle"(No Gum) and "CERO!"(Zero, you got for the day).</p>
<p>"So, why did you decide to become a German teacher?"</p>
<p>[expectant pause. something inspirational, perhaps?]</p>
<p>"I failed chemistry."</p>
<p>This happened yesterday actually.</p>
<p>Health Teacher: I don't think you should teach health if you are uncomfortable talking about sex.
Student: Then what do you teach?
Health: Math
Me: Mr.Lee(Math teacher) is the one that gives out condoms.
Health: History then.</p>
<p>"thats probable, but not possible"</p>
<p>"This is NOT Burger King; you CAN'T have it your way!"
--Substitute teacher</p>
<p>Student: Can you go over that question?
Teacher: What do you think this is? Kid's day at the fair?</p>
<p>to a substitute teacher today:
"Are you German, Mr. Kleinholz?"
"yes"
"Do you know what your name means?"
sub looks at the floor and quietly says... "yes."</p>
<p>kleinholz means "small wood"</p>
<p>I wonder if he got teased by the German club in high school...</p>
<p>teacher: I stopped at the Burger Queen.</p>
<p>students: Huh? does he mean Burger king or Dairy Queen?</p>
<p>
[quote]
"This is NOT Burger King; you CAN'T have it your way!"
--Substitute teacher
[/quote]
</p>
<p>lmao My history teacher used to say that all the time.</p>
<p>An Indian substitute teacher was telling us about his experiences subbing at a ghetto school.</p>
<p>I try and teach them but they don't listen. They just throw their books at me! So I say, 'Good. I keep your books. I get smart and you get stupid!!!'</p>
<p>These are the only ones i can think of now, but i have many more: </p>
<p>Bio Teacher: Oxidation and reduction reactions always go together. Like love and marriage. Unless you're Donald Trump. </p>
<p>Algebra Teacher: So, why didn't you do your homework, Addy?
<em>Addy holds up heavily bandaged right hand</em>
Algebra Teacher: You're left handed.</p>