<p>My name is ana and I arrived from venezuela 2 years ago… currently in a college that I was never sure about; however attended it because my parents were pressuring me on starting. Up to this day I’ve never been sure of what I want to do with my life, my major is hospitality management but have curiosity for marine biology.My university does not offer marine biology courses, so I’ve never been sure of how it is. I do like my major but I’m not too happy, although I know is going to give me a more successful future.</p>
<p>Since I wasn’t exicited or motivated in my first year of college I didn’t make the effort on making friends. Everytime they would ask me out I would make up an excuse to not go, because my self-steam and motivation was down. Today it’s worse, now I have the necesity of having friends I mean I’m getting sick of being alone. However, my self-steam is worse and I have tried to pick myself up and meet new people; but always find out that they don’t want to be around me. Now the people that I met in my first year won’t even talk to me and, of course, have their group.</p>
<p>I share my story to tell you that you are not alone. I fight everyday to not let myself get so depressed and angry. However, each day is more difficult. Everybody says that its easy just go to career center, talk to people, join clubs. However I have realized that until you fix yourself and stop filling sorry for your life, no mater if u meet 1000 of people and joing millions of club, you will never succeed.</p>
<p>Still with no friends and don’t know why…can’t wait to graduate! good luck!</p>
<p>oh! by the way…im currently looking for universities in miami to tranfers UM does not have my major and didn’t like John and Whales and FIU. If somebody could give me some advise would be helpful</p>
<p>but yeah collegeboi I know how you feel also dude. I transferred out of Purdue where my fraternity and all my friends were and now I’m at this school where I have yet to make a friend also. Being asian too people just see me as an int’l student so it’s been extreme on me. Just take it easy dude cause I know what you’re going through also. I’m getting counseling too and feel the same as you afterwards, pretty worse after I talk. Just be strong, try to be optimistic and put a smile on even though its tough. Coloring books are pretty fun too pretty lame! but it kills time pretty well so does maybe getting a gaming console if youve been unsuccessful with making friends for weeks like me also. Be strong man If you need someone to talk to cause your that bored just PM me cause you’d be doing me a favor also. Best of wishes dude.</p>
<p>I had some trouble as well making friends for the first couple of semesters, so I can tell you from experience that the easiest way to meet people is through your classes. Take advantage of group projects as a way to talk to other people, and try to join in on conversations taking place around you (unless of course they seem too personal to interrupt). My other trick that I’ve always found works is to try to compliment people (acquaintances, strangers, etc) at least ten times a day (make sure it’s genuine though). Everyone responds well to a compliment, and it makes you feel better as a person as well. :)</p>
<p>Im still in hs, but when i was in middle school i was in a similar, but less severe, situation, collegeboi, you are making nothing but excuses, instead of excuses, you must find opportunities, just because someone stays in their dorm one night doesnt mean that you can. I followed this rule and now i am a perfectly happy junior in hs.</p>
<p>I can relate to this too–I admit my situation isn’t as drastic, I do have some people I can call up, but I"m not close to any of them and whenever we hang out, I"m always the one to make plans. I do end up feeling isolated quite a bit.</p>
<p>Do any of you in this position go to UF by any chance? ;)</p>
<p>Question- what do you do in between classes/who do you eat with when you have no real friends? I find that this is part of my problem… because I spend that time in my room, usually at the computer, and then that makes me more depressed and unfriendly when I go to my classes. Any suggestions?</p>
<p>I’m in similar situation as OP was(is?)…I admit, I am kinda shy. Doesn’t help that most of my classes have online lectures. Also didn’t help that most of my classes during freshmen year were not freshmen level classes(curse you AP credit), so yeah… Seems like everyone already has their groups by now. I’ve joined organizations, but even then the established group dynamic exists(or other new members come with their friends). I came to school without anyone I was real friends with from high school, so I never had that connection/entry into more friends that most people do. Sometimes wish I went to one of the other two school choices(even if they are ‘considered’ inferior) I had, which I have friends at. I think people judge me by my looks too…I look very young for my age. Just another thing not helping, seems like I always have to be the one to try and initiate a conversation.</p>
<p>It’s like a spiral of death if you know what I mean…don’t have friends at the start and it just gets worse and worse.</p>
<p>I suppose I could try…I’m not very athletic though. I’m not overweight or anything, just sports, haven’t been my thing in awhile. I’ll probably make a fool out of myself…Though maybe that’s better than nothing. </p>
<p>Any other advice? Maybe from someone who was in a similar situation but overcame it?</p>
<p>There is a new Facebook application called SpiffBox. It helps you to get to know people outside of your normal social circle. It is a great way to meet new people! Plus, if you use the promo code UMF2009 you will not only get free sign up, but also an extra 270 points!</p>
<p>If someone has this problem, then there is usually something in their personality that they need to address.</p>
<p>Therefore, since facebook does not address the personality flaw, or the deeper problem (whatever that may be), I dont think facebook i will solve the issue.</p>
<p>On the other hand, facebook is useful to stay connected with friends. Just dont expect it to fix you.</p>
<p>You need to make the effort to meet new people- don’t expect others to come flocking to your unless you’re either extraordinarily gorgeous or outrageously funny. Good luck.</p>
<p>dramakitty, I’m basically where you’re at; it’s probably not going to help that I’m going abroad next semester too. My problems tend to be that whenever I meet people, the conversation doesn’t GO anywhere. I just feel no potential for closeness with the person; right off the bat I get the sense we have literally nothing in common. I suppose I’m one of those people who only connects with the exceptionally weird kids.</p>
<p>For the OP, are you in any group projects or study groups? Socialize as much as you can with those people; that is really a great opportunity to get to know people one-on-one, when you’re working with them for an extended period of time inside and outside of class. Also, try finding a job; you might make friends with your coworkers (make sure it’s a social job though, so don’t be a security monitor like me :))</p>
<p>I know this thread is an old thread, but I am having the same issue going into my sophomore year. As many of my high school friends are excited about going into their sophomore year, I am extremely terrified. I go to a rather large school of 20,000 including grad students. I feel like I completely failed my freshman year of college. I let my insecurities get the best of me in the beginning of my freshman year and while others seemed to just make friends easily, I ended up isolating myself for the first month and before I knew it everyone had their group of friends and I was left out. And I was soooooooo depressed my first semester, that I ended up gaining 25lbs. I made very few friends my freshman year and I feel like going into my sophomore year everyone already has their group of friends and I feel left out. I can be outgoing once I get to know a person but meeting people is always hard for me. I go back to school in a week and the half and I don’t know how to turn my college experience around and make friends? I want soooooooo badly to have a great college experience and friends. But when I think about going back to school I feel extreme fear is anything because I refuse to have the same experience I had freshman year.</p>
pretty lame! but it kills time pretty well so does maybe getting a gaming console if youve been unsuccessful with making friends for weeks like me also. Be strong man