DD has worked part time in her school’s IT department for two years. She loves the job but recently got a new boss who makes her and the other girls uncomfortable. He does not directly sexually harass them but she says he often mentions sexually inappropriate things. Because of his comments and other odd ways he relates to the people at work she suspects that the new boss has Aspergers.
My daughter is the LEAST confrontational person on the planet. I honestly can not see her working up the nerve to file a complaint unless the girls do it as a group. Our phone call was a bit hurried so at this point my only advice has been to tell her that she and the other girls should write down what he says and when he says it. Has anyone reported a superior for sexual harassment? How does the process work?
You can read the news and the legal reports to find a litany of personal experiences. Unfortunately, they aren’t all positive although things have been getting better in this respect. You can generally expect your complaint to be taken seriously and appropriately and you should have more than one alternative in case the chain of responsibility malfunctions.
@JustOneDad, with all due respect, many questions posted on CC could be answered via a Google search. I posted here because the people on this forum often offer a good variety of intelligent and insightful opinions about various subjects.
The university employs an ombudsman (or woman) whose role it is to listen to these complaints or comments BEFORE launching a full on investigation/going up the chain of command.
Your D should make an appointment with this person as the first step. The conversation will be confidential and this person’s phone number/email address will be in the university directory.
I don’t have personal experiences to offer, but have had to counsel friends in this situation, who are also not confrontational, and do not want to start full blown investigations. Your advice to keep a contemporaneous record is an important one. That record can be helpful if others also end up complaining, even if your child isn’t ready to do so, or if the situation gets worse. I always give that advice, especially because it doesn’t require confrontation. If the other women do agree, your daughter could make that suggestion to all of them.
If anyone in the group is willing to state clearly that the conversation makes them uncomfortable, that’s a first step, and if there is a man in the group who is willing to be an ally, that can also be very useful, especially if the boss is more clueless and less purposeful. I have worked with men like that, some of whom are truly offensive but also extremely vulnerable and desperate. I was, even years ago, completely unwilling to engage with them, but would say straight out if behavior was unacceptable, and, also had male friends who would speak up. For most of those men, I didn’t want to start investigations that could potentially get them fired, because, I thought they were behaving inappropriately out of social cluelessness, but if I felt harmed (or thought others were being harmed), I would have ramped up my response. I did make a point of asking women junior to me in the chain if they were doing OK in the environment.
I would try these steps first to see if the issue can be resolved sufficiently.
Oh, and in terms of the junior person, finding another woman a step up in the chain to talk to can be helpful, someone close enough to your status that you don’t feel like you are making an official case, but someone who, say, might be an equal to the boss, rather than an underling. When I was in that position, I would have taken the conversation seriously and would have followed up on it with the colleague or others.
Agree with mommdc…I think they should ask him to stop and if he doesn’t, then elevate the issue based on the college policies. But I absolutely think they need to tell him to stop first. It’s entirely possible no one has ever called him on it and he is totally ignorant that it is bothering the girls. Most employers would appreciate when employees can work out their issues before elevating them to HR.
I worked in a mostly male department but our group was 5 women and 2 men when we got a new male supervisor. He was really quite a jerk, but the women ignore his stupid comments. It was finally one of the men who made the complaint to the general counsel (who had known this new supervisor for years and hired him, so it was hard to tell him that he’d hired a jerk). Supervisor was told to avoid boob jokes and comments (never about us, but about other women, famous people, etc) and after a while (a year?) he was moved out of the supervisory position because he really didn’t stop and it just became more obvious that he couldn’t supervise or be around people. Not demoted or fired or disciplined, just moved.
I do think there are people who don’t realize they are in the 21st century and need to be told “don’t say that.” Have her keep the log, contact the employment office. If they can handle it now, early, it will be better than after something blows up.
Don’t keep a log. If you must, write down the date and time and what happened, but go immediately to the proper contact person when you feel like you are being sexually harassed.
I would keep a record. Isolated incidents do not rise to the level of sexual harassment. The conduct is illegal if it is frequent or severe enough to create a “hostile or offensive” work environment.
Organizations have a certain interest in preventing that sort of behavior before it creates a “hostile work environment”.
Accordingly, you will see things like the employee information for Northwestern University, which says:
*“If you feel you’ve been sexually harassed - even if you are unsure - let someone know right away. Unfortunately, ignoring sexual harassment does not make it go away.
…you are not required or expected to confront your harasser prior to reporting unwelcome behavior. You can contact the following people or departments for help and counsel:”
“You are not required or expected to confront your harasser prior to reporting unwelcome behavior.”
Good find @JustOneDad .
It is incredibly hard to ask a harrasser to stop, even when further into one’s career with more general life experience. For a college work study student, this may be her first or second job ever.
I like Blossom’s suggestion that your daughter go to the omsbudsman. If she can’t find that person, then I would vote that she go to the Dean of Students, even if the IT department chair doesn’t report to him. Your daughter, after all, is still a student. Universities fully expect their work-study environments be a safe place for their students.
Whether he has Asperger’s or not is irrelevant. I definitely think she should keep a log, she should definitely not laugh, smile, or otherwise give tacit approval to the remarks. A blank stare, or a “I don’t think that’s appropriate” then move on to work matters is in order here. She should make an appointment with the person in charge of this guy, and politely say X is happening and i thought you should know. The first thing, the very first thing this supervisory person will say is “Did you tell him to stop?” so she’ll need an answer. Then if it doesn’t stop, you go back to the supervisor, with the log still being kept, and request a formal complaint be filed.
I would not hold your breath on any action being taken, She needs to practice standing up to him, as there will be other workplace jerks. It is unlikely to go away on its own, so she may as well take the chance to practice some assertive, pro-active behavior when only a student p/t job is on the line.
I think your D and the other women in the department have to decide whether to escalate now or try to resolve it within the department first. Once they report to the Title IX coordinator at the school, there will be a file opened and a formal “investigation” of the complaint. Speaking to someone with authority within the department first may result in a resolution of the matter quickly. Personally, my own advice is to start with someone with authority within the department. I do think that supervisory person would expect that the women would bring the matter to him/her first, although they technically may not be required to under the policies of the university.
I agree with @HarvestMoon1 Speak to the person’s supervisor. There is some value all the way around in giving the system a chance to work.
If, as she suspects, there is a partial explanation for his behavior, a supervisor’s meeting with the person may be enough to redirect him to appropriate workplace interactions. But if it is not resolved, then file a complaint.
I have not reported a superior for sexual harrassment as they were the owner. Wouldnt have anyone to report them to. It was physical as well as verbal.
Also was in the late 1970’s, when it was much more part of the workplace.
I could have went to another owner, but I rightly guessed that it was easier to let me go and find someone who was more tolerant.