Too funny @JHS!
@jd65432 â pulling stats out of nowhere (10-90%, LOL, quite a range there), I can safely say that 99-100% of the people in this thread are tired of your off-topic spew.
I would never presume to âguessâ what is going on with the OPâs D, but I have to wonder if âone classâ is a wise move. Might be better to withdraw and solve whatever the underlying problem(s) are. Sometimes kids just arenât college ready and there can be many, many reasons and taking time to get physically, emotionally and mentally prepared is the answer. Weâve seen with a few friendsâ kids who failed out, took some time to adjust and went on to successfully complete degrees. I see nothing wrong at this point with a parent stepping in and hearing the collegeâs perspective, it canât hurt and it just might help. Kids can always âtellâ you what they think happened, but this is an expensive proposition for the parents who now have sunk costs so it makes sense to hear both sides of the story.
Failing out of college is not a crisis. This student is in crisis. Failing in school is a symptom of the crisi.
@droppedit My numbers are accurate. Many community colleges have 90% fail rates. The middle of top tier colleges have 10% drop out rates eg U of Michigan. 50% nationally of 4 year students fail out. I suggest you get informed before making a fool of yourself.
@jd5432, I think many of us do know that kids fail out either because it has happened to them or that have friends who have had this happen with their kids. I donât think that is the issue and frankly water under the bridgeâŠit happened to the OPâs D. Identifying the unlying issue whether it is immaturity, poor study skills, social issues or mental illness is only one piece of the solution and the solution is not always a âpill.â Itâs the next step that is important for the OPâs family.
The problem is that using community college stats as part of this analysis is completely bogus. She wasnât in community college, so it is the 4 year college rate that applies. It is a bit like comparing the rate of sacrifice bunts in the National League versus the American League in baseball. The American League has the designated hitter, the National League doesnât. To just average the two and apply that stat to an American League player for evaluation would be a complete joke. Your points are completely meaningless in that light and in others.
Just to let all know, through a combination of moderator actions based on this and other threads where jd65432 has posted, he has been suspended for 3 weeks. If anyone sees activity of a new ID that seems to have similar leanings during that time, or any time for that matter since having 2 IDs is not allowed, please report it using the flag function. Thanks.
I donât think 90% of community college students âflunk out.â They may not finish a program, they may transfer, they may take too many classes and not have any financial aid left, but actually being told not to return because of grades? I think that is much less than 90%. Iâd like to see the school were 90% of the students fail. The students may not be earning a degree from THAT school, but it doesnât mean 90% have failed. And only a few CCs have 10% graduation rates, many are in the 30-40% range. Of course many students are just taking core classes at the CC and go on to get degrees from 6 year schools.
My daughter had several friends leave school during the first few months for either academic or medical reasons, but they didnât flunk out. They all started new schools at some point, either in Jan or a year later. My daughter left school for a semester to do an internship. If she doesnât return sheâll be in the 50% âstatisticsâ posted by @jd65432, but she didnât flunk out. Her gpa was over 3.0, she is welcome to return at any time.
@dixiedandy , itâs great that your D finally came to you and revealed the extent of her problems, and that you are helping her deal with them. It does sound as though advising let her down significantly.
But my concern is over the fact that she apparently hasnât stopped going to school for over a year at this point. She started college a mere 2 weeks after finishing HS?? And then she continued to take courses over the following summer?
I think she needs a vacation.
I would want her to take at least a semester off, possibly more. Concentrate on her mental and physical health, maybe get a part time job or volunteer so that she has a bit of a schedule, but no school work. At all. Meanwhile, she can decide whether she wants to return to this school, or pick another one and get a fresh start.
Ok I finally caught up with your op and the replies.
I am very sorry that you and your child is going through this. As many others suggested, this is but a bump and not a failure. A lot of worse and horrible things could have happened if you didnât have a mature daughter with trusted parent-child relationship.
And as many other suggested, take a break. Gap year, Or whatever. While your daughter is taking a break, find a good educational advocate or lawyer, and try to expunge the records.
If it doesnât work, she can, after taking necessary break, go to a community college and transfer.
There are plan Bâs Câs and Dâs. Best of luck to both of you, and give yourselves some credit for having minimized the damage so far.
I appreciate everyoneâs input. Tomorrow is the meeting with the dean. We are simply wanting to get the universityâs perspective on what will be her best plan. For those joining in a bit later, I mentioned in original post, this isnât our first rodeo. Our son graduated from a major SEC university and we never got involved in anything. He was fine. The reason she has a parent with her right now is that she is in crisis, the university did drop the ball (not that she doesnât need to take responsibility too), and because of people like jdwhoever. No one deserves to be treated with hatefulness and disregard and she just canât handle someone like that right now spewing vitriol at her and telling her sheâs worthless. Hopefully the dean will at least show professionalism and listen and offer honest and purposeful direction. Most likely she will do all the talking and present her case with a solution. Maybe she will take a break from school. Most importantly, everyone who said there is hope for her wellbeing. Thank you.
What I know is that our DD is at a CTCL school where both Dean of Students office, Academic Services dept, and Human Resources (student employment) were all very gracious and helpful when DD recently dealt with MH issues requiring medication and therapy, and an incomplete plus some accommodations. DDâs experiences at said CTCL college have been well worth the $10,000 annual premium over in-state flagship tuition, and professorsâ interest in DD far greater, and more possible than our said flagship, where an undergrad can spend 4+ years without ever conversing w/professors in any meaningful way and still graduate w/ honors. We knew DD reqâd extra attention to successfully manage college, and sheâs on-track to graduate on-time. This is longwinded encouragement to find an alternate school that will facilitate your DD to flourish. I think itâs time to look at different schools, using this fall term as a time-off to navigate the process. Less consideration should be expended in âcleaning up recordâ, because it is what it is, and part of the growing-up process, the good with the bad. Best wishes.
I hope you get the record expunged.
Then, take a vacation. I donât know if you cab take says off, but try to go away somewhere and do your daughterâs favorite activities, or ask what sheâd like to do.
Assure her she doesnât have to return to school for now. Sheâs gone to school straight through, non stop - high school fall, high school spring, college summer, college fall, college spring, college summer⊠Nonstop for two years. This is too much, even without mental health issues she must be totally burnt out.
If she can get a medical withdrawal, she should use Fall as a semester to recover. Perhaps have an internship or a job.and reassess whether she wants to return to this college or attend a more supportive one.
Reassure her none of her goals is in jeopardy. Thereâs no difference between graduating at 21 or 22.
Dixie, I think we are in a similar situation in our family â the Fs, the not telling us the situation, etc. Whatever the college (gigantic research university or LAC) when your daughter takes classes again make sure she communicates with the faculty. For our student with anxiety that was a huge step to take, but the kindness of the professors at her gigantic state Uâfrom crusty old harvard educated to harried adjunct professor was pretty impressive. One of them offered her an incomplete and the chance to take the final later, no questions asked. The other, after violating some federal laws by trying to convince her that students with mental health disabilities should not take his class, ended up giving her a chance and the highest grade she has received in college so far. I am convinced this only happened because she was honest with them and went in to see them in person. Our family is in the middle of thisâŠnot sure when or how it will all end. Thank you to the other posters for injecting some hope into the situation.
I agree with @MYOS1634. Your daughter will ultimately make more progress by taking an actual break to focus on her mental health rather than taking one class in the fall. I canât tell you how many times Iâve encountered students who do not live up to their full potential as they try to be students while dealing with major mental health issues; it breaks my heart.
Iâm so glad that you and your husband are advocating on her behalf. There are times when the student needs to handle issues on his or her own, but this situation requires parental intervention to ensure that the student is treated with fairness and compassion. I wish your family the best!
Meeting with the dean today was VERY positive. Dad didnât say anything, just present for support. Daughter negotiated a medical purge for those summer classes and a reinstatement back to probation status. She had all her documentation and made a case for herself. She very well may take the semester off which is what we would like her to do. If anyone says colleges donât want parents there, rest assured this university was happy for all of us to be on one team to help our student regain herself. I think the road is long, but at least the first step is taken.
I am very glad to hear! I would really hope that she takes the semester off. I am sure the life lesson - seek help when you are in trouble - would be more valuable than any loss.
Great outcome, and now the choices are back with you. Donât rush into deciding about the fall right now, take the weekend to think about it.
What a great thread! Amazing family she is part of and a community that supported the family and her. Society still has hope.