My S19 also had a rough first semester, though not quite as bad as the OP’s daughter. His grades aren’t in yet but he is expecting something in the neighborhood of a 2.5 - half B’s and half C’s. We knew it would be rough for him. He chose to attend a reach school where his scores were below 25% and where we were surprised he was even admitted. He says he completely underestimated how much work it would be at the beginning and fell behind. He failed his first two tests. Once behind, its hard to catch up. I know he was practically living at the library for the last month or so. He’s already spoken to us about his plans for next term and how he plans to stay on top of things from the start. There is no way I would pull the rug out from under him at this point.
As for looking at canvas, editing papers, etc., I think this is inappropriate. I haven’t tracked my kids homework since middle school and I can’t even think of someone doing this at the college level.
Just want to point out that this student might need a 2.7 in the second semester to get off of academic probation. We do see on CC that students with cumulative GPAs below 2 at the end of year 1 do successfully appeal expulsion to return for year 2 but the OP might want to consider how long this student should be allowed to continue if for example, the spring GPA only rises to 2.3 or so.
I agree that for some gen eds with PowerPoint slides available online, it might be possible to virtually abandon the class and still be able to write something on the final to get a D.
OP - Just a side note about checking grades. My D’s prof use multiple systems for transmitting in progress grades (vs final semester grades). Overall the school uses Blackboard but D says hardly and of her profs post grades there. I personally wouldn’t count on Canvas or whatever system your D’s school uses to monitor progress.
I am not going to tell you what you should do either way, but I will share my cousin’s story. She was the bright, shiny star of her high school class back in the 80s: Class president, straight A student, lots of extra curricular activities. Her mother was very strict and high standards. She got a full ride to a small private school in the Midwest and being middle class her family jumped on it. Half way across the country, being no longer under the thumb of her strict mother, she became a wild child. She partied, had way too much fun and lost her scholarship after her first year. She headed home and went to community college and got her Associates of Arts. She was able to transfer back into the four year school, probably got some need based aid and graduated with the class she started with. She is now a very successful broadcast journalist in a big market. Sometimes kids make very big mistakes, but they can learn from them.
Countering the above post. There are also students who are given the second chance by the college and their families and still fail after that second semester.
I would be very clear about what your expectations are…and be very ready to follow through. If you say a GPA below a certain number will require leaving this school…you need to be very prepared to stick to that requirement.
You know,…there is nothing wrong with requesting a leave of absence from this current college. Maybe taking that and figuring out what went wrong should be in the list of options. Some colleges allow courses to be taken at a CC while on a LOA. Others don’t…so check this if you decide to pursue is route.
College is a journey, not a race. We know some very successful adults and young adults who took a lot longer than 4 years to get their bachelors degree.
@compmom the OP said the student did well in high school BUT qualified that by saying the parents had provided very significant support to make that happen.
OP Here- I appreciate all of the different views and advice everyone has provided, it is really helpful to hear all of the different perspectives. I’d say the responses have been about 50/50 on returning and that is about where we are at the moment.
DD comes home for break tonight and we will have some serious conversations over the next couple of weeks and will come to a decision on her returning to the out of state college or going to comm. college.
I’d also like to note that when I refer to editing, it is advising on what areas to work on, for example- stronger opening, too redundant, etc. I’m not writing for her- just giving feedback. I think papers should be looked at by a second set of eyes and I often have my colleagues review/edit my work before sending important professional work. We encouraged our DD to use the writing center at school for editing but she clearly did not. I’m pretty certain she threw her papers together at the last minute and probably didn’t even review them herself.
Same thing happened to my son. We made him withdraw from 2 classes as he was flunking them. He ended up with a 1.0 first semester with 9 credit hours. He begged to go back. We let him because:
We liked the school he was at, he wanted to be there and he knew he only had 1 semester to turn things around.
If he had to leave because he bombed 2nd semester, we wanted him to be able to only blame himself....never us.
We were all ready to part from one another when he left for college (he was quite the Pain), and the thought of him home bummed us out.
Conditions were access to grades, class assignments and I was going to be a personal coach, with no lip from him until I felt I could back off.
I was on him and his assignments for 2 months until I just got sick of it. He ended up with a 3.0 that semester. Although he was never a star student, from that point on, he was never on probation. Got mostly B’s and C’s with some A’s thrown in. A couple D’s showed up.
Let her stay and face the consequences she creates herself.
Why not get together with learning services. With you in attendance or virtual on FaceTime or the like. Have them create a plan for success. She has to agree and sign off like a contract. Yes, you get to be part of it. This way it is possible that they can track her. Like checking in with her. Some kids need this guidance. My nephew did and went from like poor grades to almost an A student doing most of his homework in the tutor rooms.
It has more to do with how and what to study vs making her a straight A student.
Lots of strategies and making schedules etc. It’s actually a fun quick read…great section on procrastination!!! Great Christmas gift. Studying smarter and less is the theme and he shows you how to accomplish this.
Conmama- Thank you. Point number 2 is especially helpful, we do want her to realize that she is the one who creates her own consequences. I’d be happy if we could end up telling a similar story some day.
Yes, if there is no grade replacement, or she does not repeat grade-replacement-eligible courses with F or D grades, she will need a 2.7 (B-) in the same number of letter graded credits to bring the 1.3 (D+) up to a 2.0 (C).
I got this book for my nursing student who is now a sophomore - her gpa is well above anything she had in HS and clearly a much more challenging curriculum. She did seem to get something out of the strategies in the book.
@Knowsstuff at many colleges, it is the student responsibility to check in with disability or support services. The school doesn’t check in with the student. There aren’t case managers like in HS chasing kids down and monitoring how they are managing. College kids are supposed to be advocating for themselves.
Yes, there are some disabilities offices that will deal with this sort of thing…but I didn’t hear anything from the OP about their kid even having a disability…at all.
@thumper1. Yes I stand corrected… Texting to fast for my brain… But at some small Lacs they are known to actually do this. But setting up a once a week check in, in this incidence is probably not a bad idea till her GPA improves.
@toomanyteens. It was recommended in the engineering threads and the section on procrastination is great and my son says he has read it. Hopefully it is working… Lol
My daughter is one of those students that had some academic challenges all through school. She was in Special Ed through 4th grade. She eventually learned skills to improve her performance in high school, and went on to college.
The first semester was challenging, but she did okay. The second semester was not so good. Not for lack of effort, but just overwelmed with math and science. The third semester she reduced her course load to a minimum for a full time student (12 credit hours), and we saw improvement. Also, she changed majors to something more within her strengths, and interests. She also received support from Trio student services. She later increased her course load to 15+ credit hours and continued to do well, and even excelled. After 9 semesters, she is finishing her bachelors degree this week, . We’re proud of what she accomplished especially considering how difficult it was for her. This probably doesn’t apply to your situation, but hopefully it provides encouragement for someone.
@Schoolformythree - First, I am so sorry that this first semester has not been without frustrations for you and your child. I assume that it is seriously disappointing and more than a little frustrating that this issue is now going to be a big part of your winter break.
Second, both of my kids are still in HS, so I realize that I do not have the wisdom of parenting kids through a college experience to back up my suggestions, just my own life experiences.
Since your daughter is asking (begging) to return to school, I would like to suggest that you change the current dynamic. Consider yourself an investor in and member of the board of her company - call it “Grown-up D with a College Degree”.
As such, I would make the contract her responsibility. She should draft it, present it to you, and modify it as you all see fit. This is the first step towards making her own the process of returning to college and righting this misstep. It might also give you insight into what she thinks is reasonable/possible and might bring to light any gaps between your expectations and hers.
I think having a clear and reasonable ROI (second semester GPA) should be part of the contract as well as a clear path towards a major if these first semester classes are pre-reqs for graduation and/or upper level courses of interest.
I would also suggest that you not be responsible for checking Canvas but rather that she be responsible for providing you with a weekly update of her course assignments, grades, etc. Again, this would be done with the intention that she is responsible for her work and keeping her “investors” aware of how things are going.
I do think that it would be best for her to return and challenge herself to make better choices and be proud of who she can be without you micromanaging her but rather being a supportive partner in her future amazing self. If it doesn’t seem to be working out, there are always other options (ie - work, CC) but at least she will have been responsible and can choose to learn from the experience.
Best of luck - I hope that you are able to both enjoy the time with her and help her succeed in this next semester.
@oldfort re: post #53, Intereting…where I teach a separate request generally needs to be made for each faculty interaction. We are told to always err in the side of caution, and not talk with parents about the student without the registrars approval. We do not have access to whether or not a student is dependent for tax purposes, who is paying, etc… so, we are advised to always contact the registrar, and to send the parents and students to them for validation.
So, it may be that how things are administered vary from school to school.
Transitions are hard, but for some are even harder. I would assess whether or not she is taking responsibility for what went wrong, not merely pointing to the future and promises of what she will do right. I would also suggest counseling because not only might there be something she did not share with you about her first semester, the pressure of doing well will certainly add some stress and a counselor could be helpful.
Another idea is what were some weaknesses that she might find support at her school with? Do they have a writing center? Math tutors? Let her show the initiative and buy in of resources available on campus, should she find herself struggling again.
. We’re proud of what she accomplished especially considering how difficult it was for her. This probably doesn’t apply to your situation, but hopefully it provides encouragement for someone.