I can’t get over how my daughter chose Auburn Honors over UNC Chapel Hill (out of state) and Vanderbilt. Money was no object. Am I crazy?
I assume she felt that Auburn honors was a better fit for her than UNC or Vanderbilt. I would applaud her maturity.
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Yes she did. But why can’t I let it go?
You will be able to let it go once you see how successful she is during her college years and beyond.
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Who is going to college? You or your daughter?
The answer to that is why you SHOULD let it go.
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Because you got invested in the process emotionally.
This is normal. My kid is not going to the school I would have picked. My brief is to not get in my kid’s way and to support my kid the best I can, going forward.
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If your daughter is happy, you should be happy for her. At the end of the day kids will thrive where they feel a good fit. Years ago my cousin turned down Harvard to go to UT Austin - my uncle was beside himself but it was what she wanted. She has gone on to enjoy an incredible academic career despite passing up an Ivy League undergraduate opportunity.
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Let it go…and remember…she is the one going to college. This had to be her decision. Auburn is a great school. Congratulations to her!
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I missed this. And the answer is absolutely not! You love and care for your D. That’s normal.
But all three are fine schools. Some may be “better” than others, but that’s in the mind/eye of the beholder.
Here, the only “beholder” is your D. If she is happier in Auburn, then she will likely do much better. “Fit” is unquantifiable.
Congrats to you and your D for OUTSTANDING results! Help her make the best of the rest of her senior year HS and the summer before she heads off.
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All my husband can say is War Eagle!
He’s an alum 
He loved his time there.
Two of my girls have the same choice but sad for him, neither one taking it.
She’s saving you a lot of money! It’s a great school. She will obviously be successful wherever she goes. The honors program is really good.
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All are great options. We will need a little more info on her reasons for choosing.
Auburn has some unique majors, was that a reason? Is she a direct admit there and not other places.
Does she have housing for freshman year locked in at Auburn? It sounds like housing is full for next year if not already signed up.
Reasons that she selected Auburn that you should talk about (to lighten the mood a little):
- high school significant other is going there
- Some sport related rivalry and Auburn was selected out of spite (or she likes purple)
- she likes that Auburn keeps people guessing with their battle cry War Eagle, but the tiger as a mascot:)
If you let her make the decision, she made it. If there is something that you see as a big hurdle for her…you may push her further in the other direction.
Go enjoy the next few months with her! She will be at college and you will have plenty of other things to stress you out.
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She had no real reason…just visited all three…was accepted to all three…and chose Auburn!
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@wsc it’s OK for you to wonder why. But please just do that here! Your daughter made the choice for herself and that is what college is all about.
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Ok, another more practical matter. Commit to auburn but do not withdraw from others until absolute last minute. Just in case she changes her mind.
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No “real” reason to you.
If she felt you were pushing one school over another, she may have chosen her school on that alone.
Help her with pros and cons. Be neutral. And really listen to her. Without bias.
My oldest is 21. He isnt doing what either of us envisioned. But Im proud that Ive supported my son enough for him to be confident in taking things at a pace that feels right for him.
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My colleague’s sister chose UA (OOS, got UA’s most elite scholarship -getting paid about $18,500 per year to go there).
She passed on Yale, MIT, Vanderbilt, Georgia Tech, and UF. It happens. She’s studying Physics and thriving at UA.
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If you are paying for it, I think you have a say in this. However–if you were not upfront at the beginning, making it clear there were some choices you would not pay for over other choices, I am not sure how you can navigate that now. Just tread lightly so you don’t push her away. Make a pro and con list with her.
I agree you should make sure this isn’t a decision made due to a significant other or friends.
And you are not crazy! I would have a very difficult time paying full price for Auburn over the others, unless it was clear the fit was truly better. Maybe it is?
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The OP said… money was not an issue.
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Well, I guess I interpreted money as no issue to mean they could easily afford any of the schools. However, being able to afford and being ok spending the full price on a school that in a parent’s view may not be the right educational environment for their kid (or right investment, or whatever the reason this parent is disappointed), is very valid IMO.
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I am someone who personally chose a less prestigious school over a bigger “name” — twice! Now my kid is about to do the same thing.
Here is how I/we look at it.
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A big part of future success is not just the skills and degree you acquire — it is the relationships and connections you make with peers and faculty. It is important to go somewhere with a culture (or “vibe”) that matches your personality in order to best build those relationships.
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Work-life balance and mental health is also critical to success. It is important to go somewhere where you aren’t stressed all the time or are sitting in front of a screen or book so much of the day that there is no time or energy left to build the relationships described above.
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Matching your school to your future envisioned lifestyle is important. Do you want to save tuition money now to have some left for grad school? Do you aspire to work for a Fortune 500 company in a big city or a regional employer in the state where you grew up? (If it is the latter, maybe an expensive Harvard degree isn’t worth it, for example. Maybe in that case it is more important to have more connections with local school alums.)
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Access to opportunity looks different at different tier schools and it is important to choose one where someone with your personality would best thrive. More prestigious schools may have more famous professors, clubs with better networking with big name employers, more prestigious research opportunities, higher paying internships, etc. — but there is also more competition for access to those things. A star student at a less selective school may have an easier time taking advantage of all the opportunities the school offers and have a better ability to stand out among peers.
For all these reasons, sometimes the highest ranked choice isn’t the best choice.
If it causes a twinge to tell people your kid is going to a school that lots of kids with less-impressive applications are also attending, you can always toss in the Honors College part. 
The kid who was accepted to higher-ranked schools (even if those schools are not attended) is undoubtedly going to give you plenty more to brag about in the future.
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