Our son is/was a recruited athlete who has decided not only to retire from his sport when he graduates this June, but to attend a school that doesn’t even have a program in his sport sooooooo…zero chance of a change-of-heart-walk-on situation later lol.
Is it what we would have chosen for him? No, but that’s kind of the point. It’s not our choice and it never really was. He worked within the financial parameters we gave him, and found a program and a school he loves enough to walk away from the sport he’s devoted the last ten years of his life to. He’s excited for this next chapter and so how can we not be excited for him?
I feel like they are the ones who have done the work to get themselves to this point and as long as they aren’t busting a budget, they’ve earned the right to decide what comes next. With so many kids ambivalent about leaving for college or being dragged through this process against their will, I am just relieved to have a kid who can’t wait for September.
I hear you. My S was dead set on going to his safety because it was the one of the first acceptances he received and some of his friends expressed interest in going there as well. Later, he was accepted to additional colleges that were superior in nearly every possible way and he was just unable to switch gears, nor could he even explain what was driving him toward attending the safety school. After dropping the discussion for several weeks, he thankfully seems to be changing his tune. Has your daughter deposited yet? Maybe she will changer her mind.
Well, LOL, I don’t think you’re crazy. I’m sure Auburn is a very fine school, and being in the honors program will undoubtedly make a difference (although I personally think it’s a little cringey when asked where one goes to school to add on, “I’m/she’s/he’s in the honors program”, so you may have to swallow that to avoid sounding annoying). But the academic level of the average Vanderbilt student is very different from the level of an average Auburn student. We all know there can be pluses and minuses to that whole big fish/little fish situation. But I think it’s perfectly reasonable as the adult who is paying to question this decision (gently). There are many reasons for choosing a school that would concern me. Following a significant other is one, but I’d also want to suss out if my child was just undergoing a fit of lack of confidence. Maybe he/she is afraid they won’t measure up to their peers at Vanderbilt, and they just need a little encouragement. Maybe they are feeling a little lazy and don’t want to work as hard in college as they expect they might have to at Vanderbilt, and they need a little kick to know that as much as parents want their kids to enjoy college, they are going there for a major reason besides the parties and sororities (btw, I understand V is plenty fun, though!). Or maybe nervous to move farther from home, and just needs reassurance about that. Or other issues that can be managed if fully discussed. I think the suggestion of doing one last visit to her top 2 choices, keeping an open mind, is a good one. But if she is able to articulate very sensible reasons for her choice, then I would support her totally. And enjoy the savings, even if not completely necessary! I’m sure she’ll have a very successful life wherever she goes.
Very well said. I’m sure this was my son’s reason for getting attached to his safety… it was reallllly comfortable. It also meant he wouldn’t have to do the hard work of deliberating over a decision between several other schools. It was just easier to shut it all down and go to what he knew.
Because we’re parents, and it’s our job to worry. Someone has to do it I think she made a good decision, and you get to keep your money and put it in a retirement account. WOOHOO!
I think she made a good decision, and you get to keep your money and put it in a retirement account. WOOHOO!