<p>asian75…humility is something you have or you must struggle to acquire it.</p>
<p>^ Follow his post history and you might want to consider the ignore feature.</p>
<p>^^ yes and those are the kind of kids (that post childish responses) that might well need additional time before college to gain some maturity.</p>
<p>To the person who originally posted this concern - don’t be discouraged, I know it’s very difficult! One of my sons had actually studied numerous semesters and summers away from his home school, (Senate school, Germany etc.), but didn’t do well his first year of college. Surprised us all since he’d already been away so much. But he came home, went to CC for 2 semesters, got his GPA up, and transferred to what was originally his second choice school. He had remained in contact with them during his year at CC, sending first semester grades, taking classes they recommended for transfer, etc. They really knew him and his intentions by the time he got the acceptance letter. He had worked hard and the school accepted all his CC classes. He’s about 750 miles away again, it’s a much better fit and he’s doing very well. I know he learned a lot about himself from the experience.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Let him go to a community college, and if he does well,</p></li>
<li><p>Beg the school that kicked him out to take him back, and apply for a transfer to other schools.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Why would he want to have to deal with transferring twice?</p>
<p>One caveat to those of you suggesting work. If your child is covered under your health insurance plan, he will be dropped for not being a fulltime student. My suggestion is to attend community college and or technical school, fulltime (12 credits) and let him work also. Heaven forbid anything major happen to your child and him not be covered.</p>
<p>TwistedxKiss—He may need to prove himself at a CC before he can attend another 4 year.</p>
<p>Americorp provides health insurance for the year the young person is in service and might be a better option if the young person is not ready for college but needs insurance. </p>
<p>I found that the students who are attending my CC for insurance purposes only tend to do poorly and end up being dismissed from CC. I often wonder if, for a kid with no health issues, an individual general health coverage policy wouldn’t be cheaper. Community colleges are cheap but still cost (roughly 2K a semester including books, lab fees, etc). Community colleges have academic probation as well. At my school, after two semesters of sub 2.0 work, the student is not allowed back for a semester. I dealt with a mother last week who had a son with a pre-existing medical problem that was suspended due to a sub 2.0 GPA.</p>
<p>“TwistedxKiss—He may need to prove himself at a CC before he can attend another 4 year”</p>
<p>I meant why try to get back into the original university and then transfer from there, why can’t he just transfer straight from the CC? I must be missing something.</p>
<p>“Isn’t that what really strikes terror in our hearts? That our child won’t rise to the occasion in the face of adversity?”</p>
<p>A thousand (sad) cheers for the truth of this, Missypie.</p>
<p>We are still bumping along in what feels like limbo with a wonderful son who messed up.</p>
<p>He got dismissed from a somewhat 2nd rate college last year - for conduct - heroically turned himself around (great grades at community college) but I’ve got that awful feeling that his spirit is buckling again.</p>
<p>He has learned he CANNOT even apply to certain colleges because of his blotted conduct record.
So instead of that fighting attitude that has seen him through this last miserable year, despite the maturity that has developed (he accepts that it was cretinous beyond belief to be caught with an experimental substance in his dorm room), we are seeing his angry resentment at the “punishment” surfacing again.
He’s just 19 and it’s so hard at that age to take the long view of these things.
I can understand how he had been clinging to a new happy ending for himself - proving to a new, better 4-year-college that he had slipped up big time, then learned from that mistake.</p>
<p>The news that he isn’t even in a position to apply to certain colleges with his “bad standing” status conduct report from his old college still existing feels - at the moment - like too much adversity.</p>
<p>(Before anyone else says it: we probably should have known about the need to be in “good standing” with his previous college, instead of assuming that his excellent grades at CC might help offset the earlier disaster. We did pay for sessions with a private college advice expert - which we all attended: somehow, this matter never came up.)</p>
<p>“I often wonder if, for a kid with no health issues, an individual general health coverage policy wouldn’t be cheaper”</p>
<p>Even if the policy costs a bit more than community college would, expecting the young person who got failing grades in college to work a fulltime job and pay rent if living at home probably would boost their maturity more than going to community college.</p>
<p>Just because a capable student is in community college doesn’t mean the student will go to class, do their assignments, etc. If the only reason they follow through on their responsibilities is that their parents micromanage them, the students still aren’t developing the responsibility they need to be a fully functioning college student.</p>
<p>Far better for them to spend time in the work world – even at a minimum wage job with no benefits. Particularly if they have to support themselves via their meager wages, they’ll learn the value of a work ethic and the value of getting an education.</p>
<p>My older S who flunked out of college for several years has been supporting himself by doing office work. He has gotten several promotions, and is very proud of his work ethic. He still thinks college is a waste of time. My opinion differs, but at least he’s supporting himself.</p>
<p>I also have a son who was recently dismissed for academic failure. It was a terrible blow, emotionally and financially, but we are trying to pick up the pieces. I know my son must assume responsibility for his actions, and here I want only to confirm a previous poster’s perceptions. My son’s school was also listed in the book “Colleges That Change Lives.” After our experience, I consider that image pure marketing and grossly misleading. The promised support never amounted to more than peer tutors. The administration’s response to a serious drug problem was to look the other way. The quality of instruction in some classes was decidedly sub par. Yes, the college changed my son’s life, but not in a way anyone would hope.<br>
Thank you to the other posters for sharing. I feel a little less alone.</p>
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</p>
<p>Yeah, I pretty much told the Dean of Students at my son’s CTCL school to put up or shut up…in a very diplomatic way, of course.</p>
<p>Yesterday the Ft. Worth police found a TCU coed dead, bound and gagged in her apartment…they do not suspect foul play. Think of the phone call those parents got.</p>
<p>Same day…coed from our church dead of alcohol poisoning.</p>
<p>I know we all know it but sometimes we are reminded that there are far worse things than failing classes.</p>
<p>missypie, that is so true. Thanks for the reminder.</p>
<p>OK… just a question, How can they NOT suspect foul play if the dead person was bound and gagged?</p>
<p>Could have been some kind of a sex game that went awry.</p>
<p>That’s the only think I can think of. The police immediately said “no foul play” and they aren’t looking for anyone, so I guess what happened was pretty obvious when they entered the apartment. Again, some parents had to get THAT call.</p>
<p>Oh man… I don’t know how one even processes that.</p>