<p>Would it be useful to sticky the “lessons learned” in this thread and create a separate thread for new freshman parents? Or does such a thread already exist?</p>
<p>My daughter was very put off by some of the coed dorms with coed bathrooms we saw on some of our college tours. There was one freshman dorm at a highly selective LAC that had coed by room and only a "gender neutral’ bathrooms with two stall and two showers on the hall. After that she would only consider colleges that had an option of single sex floors.</p>
<p>“Gender Neutral” was a shock to my daughter when we were in the process of college selection. She’s been living with gender neutral, mixed sex halls for two years and, although she does not really care much for it, she has accommodated and it seems to be a minor inconvenience. She compares it to sharing the bathroom with her messy brother (which she did for fifteen years before leaving for college. The co-ed dorms with shared sex bathrooms do seem to be a trend at the better LACs.</p>
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<p>My Ds would decline to attend a school on that basis alone! We don’t even share a bathroom with boys at home. Instead of “parents” and “kids” bathrooms, we have “boys” and “girls” bathrooms. The females in the house avoid entering the guys’ bathroom.</p>
<p>I disagree with anyone who suggests that college is NOT for everyone. Maybe a few people can work there way up and earn a decent learning but lets face it, without a college degree it is almost immpossible to find a decent paying job that you could survive on.</p>
<p>My best advice is for you to sit down with your son/daughter/whomever and talk to them about why they wan’t to go to college or are they just going there because thats what millions of high school students do.</p>
<p>Depending on that answer, even through I am against this, taking a semester or two off from school and working will usually whip him/her into shape. I know countless number of people who hated working jobs that paid mediocare wages and quickly realized the potential a college degree has to offer.</p>
<p>Just my opinions and good luck to your son!</p>
<p>FERPA also wouldn’t allow the school to tell you if your child had a drug problem or a substance abuse problem. If you think there’s any likelihood of this, you need to talk to your student about this before making any long term plans.<br>
Have you thought about having him join the military?</p>
<p>I rescept your opinions Momzie but why does everyone suggest the military as an option? The military is a path for those who want to be there, not a dumping place for struggling students who need money or can’t seem to do well in school.</p>
<p>If you and your son DO consider the military, talk to a ton of people before you commit because I know many students who went that route and are in college who wish they didn’t sign up in the first place.</p>
<p>Again
Some schools have interpreted FERPA differently and legally allow parents access to records. Perhaps they manage this by having each enrolled student sign a waiver as condition of their enrollment, I don’t know (at some point I will try to find out how they are able when other schools apparently feel they are not) S’s school will also notify the parents if drugs or alchohol have become a problem. But even if most schools have chosen to interpret FERPA in the strictest sense, schools, health insurance companies and hospitals have forms your child can sign and each and every one of you with dependent children should have your kids fill these waivers out, allowing you to ask for and receive information about your child’s academics and his health. The forms will name the people permitted to receive info, so it’s not like anyone can get it. And your college students should not have a problem with signing it if you are paying the bills</p>
<p>This thread is great. A very useful cautionary note I see on here relates to first-semester freshmen taking multiple advanced classes because of their AP credit. First semester freshman year is not the time for a lot of advanced classes - seriously! In my opinion, one advanced class is enough; the others should be 101 type classes. It is hard for kids to get rolling making the right decisions about when to study, how much to study, when to see the professor, and how soon to start on the paper due at the end of next week.</p>
<p>Also, no matter how appealing the classes look, this is not the semester to overload on credits. 
Try to convince your overachiever kid to ease into college level work while he is also learning to balance other aspects of his life, including sleep, laundry, college parties…</p>
<p>^^ Completely agree. There is a huge adjustment to college and I don’t care how successful a child or to the degree they “would never… <insert drink,=”" party,=“” etc=“” here=“”>." College is a transition in almost every life skill that comes easily to some, not so easily to others.</insert></p>
<p>I would also not rush into a life in the armed services. While it is an ideal fit for some (my brother being one of them), for others the structure and demands could otherwise alter a more free spirit. Sometimes it’s just about maturing and reflection.</p>
<p>I think some parents are so anxious to get their kids to the next step that they don’t really see how much they’ve steered them or assisted them from the get go (I can only speak directly to myself here). I definitely see the benefits to a gap year if only for the maturity in age let alone brain development. After that ship has sailed, sometimes a job and the 9-5 routine that will spur a kid to find what they really want. My brother just felt so directionless and the military was the right path that contributes greatly to his success as a corporate executive today.</p>
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<p>Great advice! I didn’t even think about the fact that having a lot of AP courses might throw a kid into a more advanced round of classes. I don’t particularly care if my son goes in with college credit (okay, I admit it would be nice but that has never been the reason he’s taken AP classes). I would prefer that he use his first semester to get acclimated to college life. Of course, the flip side is if it’s a little too easy, they might decide they don’t need to work very hard and end up doing poorly also. Definitely, something to think about - how to find that right balance.</p>
<p>I’m hoping that advanced classes will work to my child’s benefit. He has been taking 2xx and 3xx level chemistry and math classes for 2 years in a dual-enrollment arrangement, and has learned a couple of things while not having to cope with dorm distractions: it takes work to get 'A’s in college, time management is a useful commodity, and procrastination is a bad idea. Another advantage of accelerated coursework: he can join the senior/graduate dorms next year. I think just skipping the zoo phase of college and the cohort of people destined to flunk out has merit.</p>
<p>And yet, he <em>still</em> is at risk of flunking out once he hits the dorms, because he is easily distracted. I think we will try to arrange things so that he has plenty of freedom, but not enough to kill himself, and any increase in tension will be caught early. How ? By asking him to keep in close contact, and letting us know quizz grades by the week.</p>
<p>EricLG—I am not so sure having him report to you with quiz grades weekly will work when he is in college. They tend to get very independent and not so forthcoming.</p>
<p>^ Yeah, I know what you mean. The trick will be for him to not feel like he is ‘reporting’, but rather sharing his successes, or having the opportunity to talk through problems.</p>
<p>If EricLG insists, he can have his kid give him access to his “blackboard” account to watch his quiz grades online. Most colleges use blackboard or something like it so people can check their grades - how did I do on the midterm? is that paper graded yet? - on line. (There may not be many quizzes, though.)</p>
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<p>Especially in something like chemistry. General chemistry (the series that the science, but not chemistry majors, take) at our local university is miles above the AP Chemistry at our local high school.</p>
<p>ARRGHHH tell me about it, yet was unable to talk S out of taking 3 sciences - Calc III, Discrete Math, and Physics. sigh sometimes they just have to learn it on their own</p>
<p>Another thing to think about with the advanced classes is prep for things like the MCAT. It is very easy to forget the AP chem and physics from high school if you don’t continue to take these types of courses. D chose not to take AP credit and redid courses like the higher calc (II, III) and chem. It made the first year much easier to grow into and produced excellent grades. Dean’s list for first year was a nice start! It also served as an excellent review for the MCAT and a better foundation for O chem (which she is taking now). Her LAC only offered elective credit (even for 5’s which she had) in courses such as bio as they had “their” way, a more research based way of completing the course as opposed to the memory work of the high school AP bio.</p>
<p>I hate to take away from the thread but I would be carefull with some of the physics programs at certain unis. From my expierences, even the advisers at my school warned against taking certain physics classes because class size was big and the professors who taught the subject were not the best teachers which resulted in huge numbers of students failing and being miserable.</p>
<p>Ex) I knew a friend who took a physics class and the average was near a 60, throw in the fact that the class also operated on a bell curve meaning that just because you had a 92 doesn’t mean you will get an A in the course. Physics at UT Austin is set up so that very few people get As, very few get Bs and most people either fail or get a D or C.</p>
<p>“First semester freshman year is not the time for a lot of advanced classes - seriously!”</p>
<p>In social sciences and humanities, the advanced classes may be easier than the intro classes because the advanced classes cover a smaller portion of the field. One needs to learn much more overall info in a course like, “History of western civilization” than, for example, in a course like, “Germany during the Nazi Era.”</p>