<p>When my husband and I were dating (you know, before the dinosaurs), he would call and say, “Do you want to go to dinner at a nice restaurant, or would you rather go to “Name of Burger Joint–not fast food” and have fun?” I usually opted for the burger. It still makes him squirm to go to a really fancy, expensive place, and he’s approaching sixty.</p>
<p>From a former Social Chairman of one of Princeton’s Eating Clubs with a BSChE degree:</p>
<p>thermo,</p>
<p>I see that you are an Electrical Engineering Junior in college and this would be your first possibility for a girlfriend since you have been in college.</p>
<p>Dating in college, and/or “hooking up”, is part of what the college experience is all about. It is not just studying and books, it is the well rounded experience that you will be getting to prepare for the real world.</p>
<p>Do not, under any cirmcumstance, not pursue this girl just because it is going to cost you a couple of bucks to take her out in the beginning.</p>
<p>Pay for the date at the start and don’t even consider or think about her paying. It is what it is in today’s society that the boy/man pays for the dates in the beginning.</p>
<p>As time progresses and you get to know each other better, let her offer to share or pay, but do not suggest it at any point in time.</p>
<p>You are fortunate that as a college student you have many free events offered by your college that you can take your date to - dances, parties, movies, art exhibitions. Even hanging out at your apartment watching a rented movie with popcorn would be considered an exciting date by the girl if she likes you.</p>
<p>Concentrate on your studies during the week and take her out during the weekends.</p>
<p>Do not give up this great opportunity to have fun just because it is going to cost you a couple of cents in the beginning. The excitement that goes with looking forward to a weekend date will actually help you concentrate and complete your studies during the week more efficiently instead of turning into a “blah blah” kind of week, every week for years on end.</p>
<p>Consider the $20 budget to be inexpensive compared to what it is going to cost you once you get out of college and work in the real world. In cities such as NY and L.A. a full date could very well cost $150-400, including drinks, then dinner, then a movie or play or other event such as club dancing.</p>
<p>Make us engineers proud, go get’em tiger…</p>
<p>I think the whole idea of girls expecting guys to pay comes from way back when girls or women hardly ever worked a paying job and stayed home and did all the household duties or whatever and therefore needed a guy to pay for those things. Times have changed. If a girl expects me to pay for everything then I don’t see how it would be anymore insulting for me to expect her to wash all my clothes and clean my apartment and cook me meals. Either that or some girls just need to have guys pay for them to make them feel special or worth something or they actually think they are better than you an expect something in return for their time, all of those things are pretty sad though.</p>
<p>you<em>of</em>eh, times have changed, but some traditions die hard. These days, the guy almost always still pays for at least the first few dates. Is it entirely fair? No. Is it going to change any time soon? Probably not. Unfortunately, guys still have the onus of making the first move a lot of the time, and we still have to pay at least for the very beginning of the relationship. But hey, look on the bright side. At least the bride’s family pays for the wedding.</p>
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<p>no no no I do not agree. Its not about the money at all, its just the whole idea of you paying every time. Why? Why would you? Because then she won’t spend time with you?</p>
<p>bones, it seems that “you<em>of</em>eh”, a rising sophomore engineer in college, has some unpleasant surprises coming his way once he is out of college and begins dating. My guess, is that his philosophy of not paying for the date, even in the beginning, or not even buying the girl a drink at the bar is going to lead him into many many lonely nights.</p>
<p>Well, maybe Canadian culture is different enough from here that his philosophy will fly. Maybe.</p>
<p>Yes Boneh3ad I get that the whole expectation thing is there and that its not going away. And I did say I pay for the first date. All I expect is a thanks for the dinner, or a kiss on the cheek or something, it’s just manors. My problem is with the girls that expect it every time and don’t ever seem to appreciate it. Which is what the situation with thermo sounds like. And after the first time the ball is in her court, she wants to go out she can pay or at least split or offer to split.</p>
<p>The biological methods may have changed but the idea remains the same: the man must provide physical shelter (house) and a stable supply of food (job/money). Yes, ladies, I know many of you do not require this but let me ask, would you marry a guy who had no job/house but was incredibly charming? At the very least, you’d want that guy to meet you halfway, no?</p>
<p>bones, I have gone out with a few Canadian women and their philosophy on dating wasn’t much different than that of the U.S.</p>
<p>my guess is that “you<em>of</em>eh” is going to find out the hard way about the dating environment once he grow up a bit.</p>
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<p>aha wow. Okay first of all I’m twenty I have “started dating”. I go to the bars and never buy a girl a drink and I can almost guarantee you, sir, that I have had much less lonely nights than you. I know that sounds douuchey as hell but I do believe it is true. You do it your way bud I’ll do it mine, maybe you need to buy a girl drinks to get her to notice you and then take her out for dinner a few times to make her time spent with you worthwhile, whatever works.</p>
<p>you<em>of</em>eh, </p>
<p>are you telling me that if you take out the girl of your dreams - that incredible beautiful girl, that is smart, sexy and has a sense of humor and shows some emotion towards you, that you would not take out again if you paid for the date and she somehow forgets to thank you?</p>
<p>ha!</p>
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<p>you<em>of</em>eh, </p>
<p>Oh, ok…so when you make a comment like this, I would assume that you take a girl home EVERY SINGLE time that you go out to meet girls at bars. Further, I would assume that the girls that you take home every night are not skanky looking girls, but are top models from Ford modeling agency that appear in the front page of Vogue or are current or former girlfriends of the top male movie stars or rock stars in the world.</p>
<p>wow, that is good stuff.</p>
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<p>That is correct. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t hang out with her again I just wouldn’t offer to take her out. If a girl wants to go out that bad and wants it to be with you, she will offer to take you out.</p>
<p>When I was dating my husband, like most students we didn’t have a lot of money, we pooled out money together whenever we went out. But one thing he always did was to let me have what I wanted on the menu and he would get something that cost less if money was an issue. I married him because I knew he always put my interest first (at least I felt like that). It came in very handy when I was pregnant, he always insisted on me ordering entrees for both of us. If I didn’t like one (because it made me feel sick), he would give me the other.</p>
<p>Now 30 yeaars later, I am the major bread winner in the family, but he still looks after me and making me feel secure. It is not matter of money or how you are splitting it down the middle. When you truly like someone, you just want to be with that person, you are not thinking about the money. If you are concerned about who is paying for what or if someone is taking advantage of you then you have to wonder why you are spending time with that person.</p>
<p>I tell my daughters that it’s always good to have the guy to like (love) you a little bit more.</p>
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<p>Well based on what I actually said, those are just ■■■■■■■■ assumptions lol</p>
<p>you<em>of</em>eh, tell us more about this “guarantee” of yours</p>
<p>we all want to hear about it</p>
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<p>BINGO! Nicely put.</p>
<p>ken285, yes very true, but that is more for once the relationship gets going.</p>
<p>In the courtship stage, society still calls for the person doing the “asking out” to initially pay for the dates.</p>
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<p>I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude or argumentative but I don’t agree with this at all. OP, you have to deal with this. I don’t care how you do it and it won’t be comfortable but you have to confront this very legitimate issue. If your girlfriend says something like this to you then that means she just wants to continue taking advantage of you. On the other hand she might say she is sorry and that you are right and then start paying sometimes.</p>
<p>Being taken advantage of can work both ways. As a girl I’ve found myself in some relationships paying more often then not, in one relationship there came a point where my boyfriend expected me to do his laundry, at least that is how I saw it.</p>
<p>In hindsight, I think my significant others just weren’t paying attention and I now wish I had spoken up sooner rather than later. In all the cases, when I finally did say something I received an apology and things changed.</p>
<p>You really need to say something. Since you are inexperienced, this is what being in a relationship is, speaking up and working through issues.</p>