He wasn’t in the frat, he just rushed, didn’t pledge. He wasn’t a brother yet.
Again if you read the original post it said “kicked out of frat”
Clearly both son and ex need to learn to handle their emotions better. He should document any posting or communication.
The bigger question is- what Frat would be having a party in the middle of a pandemic! Why would any parent want their kid to be a part of a frat that would do that?
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This. But don’t “do nothing” in hopes it will resolve itself
Obviously she meant that colloquially. Kicked out of consideration for the frat.
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Yes but since the semester just started and he recently rushed, it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t in yet.
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Obvious to who? My comment about kicked out of frat was an exact quote to the OP saying “kicked out of frat”. Period
I guess if you aren’t familiar with Greek life you would know pledging is a process.
Actually I’m very familiar. But thanks for your rude comment
It’s just a fact that he wasn’t kicked out of a fraternity, huge difference between kicking him out of his new pledge class than kicking out a brother. I think you are getting a little emotionally invested into a situation being told by someone who wasn’t there and only one side of the story. Assumptions are being made on information not even given from the OP.
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Will you two please take it out to the Hall?? 
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I actually agree with you. The point was she said “he was kicked out of the frat” hence why I used that term. Seriously. Not that big of a deal.
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What I’m not understanding is why no one told him what she actually meant by assault. If I heard I was being accused of assault, and did not recall assaulting anyone, the first thing I would do is ask others what exactly is being said about me. I’d ask others in the group, I’d ask the fraternity brothers. I’d want to clear my name. If my friend told me she was assaulted by her boyfriend, the first thing I’d ask is what exactly happened. If I was told I was no longer invited to rush, I’d want to know exactly what I was accused of. The fact that these students are acting in such a hurtful manner makes me think that the girl said something really serious happened.
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OP, I’m sorry for what you are going through. We went through something similar with DS when he was in high school. It obviously didn’t involve a fraternity, but he did lose some friends and it was very upsetting. My wife and I came to the conclusion that there wasn’t much we could do about it other than to make sure DS had zero contact with his accuser. I hope things work out for you.
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Totally agree. The issue is, kids today have seen cancel culture work, sadly. So some who are not emotionally stable or who have other issues can resort to these tactics. I would contact my attorney and ask about a restraining order. That might shut it down. I would also ask my lawyer to review the school policies. And I would tell my son to shut down all social media accounts, change his cell number and not talk about this with anyone on campus. No discussion will allow no gossip/drama which it sounds like this girl wants.
Often with people who have mental health issues there can be unexpected results. Some people love the drama and cannot stop themselves. Your son needs to understand this.
If you do proceed down the legal path, then I would also ask my attorney if words can be put in the letter to the person to cease and desist and that you will pursue them for finances incurred from transferring and lose of FA etc. The girl may have issues but her parents certainly won’t want to have a financial issue placed on her.
I would presume the frat issue is going to be tough. Once you have worked things out legally and with the school, then pursue the Frat. Does it have a national group? What is their policy for expulsion. It may not be worth it since the group may feel your son is guilty even if he is not.
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Agree. Think it is really important to get to the bottom of this. Especially prior to asking for restraining order as some suggested or going to the school. I would want full account from my son including anything he didn’t remember and stress that better be the entire story as trying to fix it without all the info could be a disaster. Also any witnesses other than the girl?
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The original incident happened involving alcohol- not good.
The second incident happened at a party that probably should not have been happening during a pandemic. The frat could get into a lot of trouble over that. He could have also been drinking at that event.
I hope the girls just leave him alone from now on. If they don’t, he really should document everything.
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I have been reading this thread with a little concern. Particularly when the word “assault” is used, we are talking about a potential criminal charge. If any lawyer is consulted, my first inclination would be to consult a criminal defense lawyer to make sure all bases are covered and that my son understood the gravity and impact of a potential criminal charge. Also, I would really discourage any further pursuit of fraternity involvement/excessive alcohol use.
One of my close friends has a son who had a fight with his girlfriend in college while they were drinking and he apparently threw things and may have shaken her or something (I don’t know all the details). The D.A. filed charges, but they were later dismissed. It was a very scary time for that family.
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This.
Calling it a “frat disaster” is oddly beside the point. It clearly was a relationship disaster, a drinking disaster, is now a harassment disaster and may turn into a disciplinary and/or a criminal justice disaster.
Proceed very carefully, hire a lawyer, lay low, stay away from frats, parties and alcohol.
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I would suspect they are “covering their butt” by not initiating the OP’s son. He’s not yet a member so it’s easier to just cut their losses and not deal with the drama and accusations.
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