There is regular withdrawal: THis has a date specified in the academic calendar
There is retroactive Medical Withdrawal…the student is diagnosed with a medical issue and the semester basically
doesn’t count (although you paid for it). Talk to the Dean of Students about this to see if it is possible
There is Incomplete…this is when you are doing well in a class, but then have an issue toward the end of school. I had to do that once when I got pneumonia and another time when I was in a car accident toward the end of the semester. I took finals in some ofmy classes, but took an incomplete in a couple of them and took the finals at the beginning of the next semester.
I have multiple sleep disorders. If this is potentially a chronic life-long condition, part of what he needs to learn is to work around it. Hopefully, that is part of what the therapists, et al are doing.
The sleep disorder is real and it seems one strategy would be to accept that and mold a schedule to his sleep. I know a young person who is brilliant but his job prospects suffer some from his sleep issues. That said, he has a great paying job and is able to go in for hours of his choice.
I think protecting his transcript is important. Medical withdrawal is different from regular withdrawal and can still happen, and can potentially wipe the whole semester’s grades off the slate.
Some kids resist this of course and it needs to be your son’s choice to have more failures on his transcript. But young people are rooted in the present and I think a parent or even better an advisor can discuss the longer term consequences of perevering with him.
Many schools will take up to 90 transfer credits and there are many way to finish college, including returning where he is and the many continuing ed, online, distance learning programs etc. etc.
Many really benefit from a year off, working, finding the tructure that work bet for them, and doing chool p/t or f/t when ready. It will work out!
The important thing i to avoid feeling of failure and careful planning of hi time at home can help with that. Or he can live in an apartment with friend if that i available.
The letter before “t” stopped working on my computer jut now!!!
I can add a few thoughts based on knowledge of a good friend’s son who had a similar trajectory in college, with depression and anxiety, but without the sleep issues.
Finally, in his fourth year of struggling and failing in college, things are looking better. That said, he's going to need a fifth year to finish.
He has finally stated that college has been SO MUCH more difficult for him than he could admit for the first three years.
He finally allowed himself to accept an ADD diagnosis and to take the prescribed meds. He refused to believe it for many years.
He and his parents found an excellent life coach for him. The coach meets with him once a week to do the things the rest of our kids can do naturally on their own. They use a calendar to write down when his classes are, what assignments and tests he has, when and where he will work on the assignments and study for the tests, etc. It's basic stuff, but it's part of what he never mastered or internalized.
This is a classic smart kid with ADD, who was able to do well in high school by virtue of innate brains, but flew by the seat of his pants until the world became less externally structured and he had no idea how to structure it himself. The anxiety and depression developed (or worsened) as the years of struggling in college went on.
He is living at home and commuting now, because he procrastinated about the rental lease for too long and lost the apartment. He has had his car towed twice from an illegal spce on campus, and had security take the bike he left chained up on campus after the end of the spring semester. He failed a test because he didn't hear what the prof said about the test date change, and was too anxious and embarrassed to ask for clarification. So he didn't study and showed up unprepared for the test.
Things are starting to click for him now, after many years of hiding his problems and feeling stupid and depressed and anxious about his own inability to do well. It is frustrating to know you are smart enough but still failing.
Do what you can to secure a medical withdrawal. Have him take time off of college until… Until he is ready for college emotionally, mentally, physically, and in terms of maturity.
^when my S that I described above left school, he had withdrawn while on academic probation. When he decided to go back and finish, he was fortunate to get re-accepted to his first school, but he was also accepted as a transfer to the local state college. So I agree with what @Hanna said. We knew that one way or another, he was going back to college and graduating.
Hi all,
Thought I’d post an update. Son was able to squeak by to get off academic probation. Over Christmas break, he had a sleep study done and we found out he has Narcolepsy. We’re working with the university to see about accommodations. It’s a relief to know what the problem is, but heartbreaking to know he’ll be dealing with this for the rest of his life. Hoping his meds will assist him during the day at least, still working on his sleep phase disorder issues as well.
Thanks for all the great advice!
@Cyclonemom. Thanks excellent news. At least you know and he knows how to help himself now. I am sure it’s a big relief. I wish him good luck in the future.
I’m sorry about your son’s diagnosis but happy you have both an explanation, and a plan going forward. Best wishes for successful management of symptoms!
It may not feel like it now, but knowing what the issue is can be very empowering for your son. Best of luck to him, and kudos to all of you for listening to him and being persistent about finding an explanation.
I hope he can get a reduced course load, single room, a good schedule for his classes and any other accommodations that help him. This is good news because a concrete diagnosis will get him accommodations and support. He has a tough road but things are clearer and he can have some kind of plan with the help of others. Good luck and thanks for the update, which may help others
@Midwest67 I can’t figure out the pm on my phone. His sleep MD and cbt-i therapist are out of the Naperville office of the Center fot Sleep Medicine. We’re looking for a Cbt-I at his school, but no luck yet. Hoping they can help him with his Delayed Sleep Phase disorder.
Having a diagnosis means you can forge a game plan. That’s huge. And it’ll make your son feel better about himself. That’s he’s not a loser, but has a health condition he needs to address That’s even huge-er Wishing you both the best!
Wishing you both the best!