I would have a very, very hard time paying 70K year for any school with Purdue at around 15K year after your discount.
I think you need to sit with your spouse and set a firm budget. If it’s $40k/year, then that’s it. I wouldn’t complicate it by promising money after graduation.
Your son can borrow the ~$5500/year federal student loan. With your $40k that gives him ~$45k/year. That’s a very generous budget. But you need to make sure he understands the budget is $45k max with the student loans and that he can’t borrow the difference.
First off. Out of state COA is expensive. For example, UC Berkeley (note the correct spelling) is going to cost 66k a year or 264k over 4 years, not an option for OP. Plus it’s one for the most competitive CS programs in the nation.
To OP, I give you credit for saving a considerable amount of money in a 529 plan, unfortunately it’s not enough for a 300k education. It sounds like you will have some great in state options (IU) and possibly Purdue which is fantastic.
Good luck to your family.
The expectation that you should pay $300k just because you technically could makes me think your kid needs to take a gap year and earn some money of his own. Find a job on his own, without any parental help. He appears to have no understanding of the value of a dollar.
You shouldn’t have any guilt whatsoever. Most of us don’t get what we want just because we want it.
Offering to pay full fare at NU was a bit weird but also your husband’s prerogative. Might have been better to cap what you will pay for all schools without this one exception but it’s too late for that.
That’s a very substantial amount of money you have available for him. I’m sure a smart kid could find somewhere with a great CS department within that budget.
Why are you asking this? Seriously.
Haven’t you looked up the prices of the other colleges on his list? If not, why not? Again, model adult behavior for him. Do some research, help him do some research.
Right, agree. He will get a job soon, probably February 1st and is more likely that he’ll live out of the house/in another state until he goes to college, and will have to live from his salary. I’ll have to fight with myself not to bail him out if he goes over budget at that time. We will see. He’ll have to pay rent and manage his own money. I think it’ll be tough for me but I this it would be good for him.
I spoiled him too much clearly.
right now, until that job starts, he is doing pet sitting, through the holidays and early January, because we don’t give him any spending money once he graduated (graduated last week, a semester early).
I think there is some confusion what is considered an elite college. If its an ivy league school or something similar to Northwestern with a 1430 SAT he’s not getting in anywhere. What hasn’t been discussed and maybe it has on other threads is what he has taken in high school. The OP made mention of her son’s lack of effort in testing but at this point it is what it is. The spending of $300k may be mute if he hasn’t gotten into a school that costs that much.
I’m asking this because I did do the net price calculators for the whooping three in-state colleges on his list and it comes way below the 40K. IU 24K, Purdue about 15K with my discount, and IUPUI (not under consideration) is similar to Purdue because he got a bunch of merit aid from there. So I did think that the prices we have here should be similar to other in-state schools. I also looked just for fun at other costs for in-state, such as Rutgers (we don’t live in new jersey but I have a friend there I comisserate with) and I did not see 40K/year for in state.
His UW GPA is 3.6999, after the junior year. It is a moot point, but I didn’t want to sign for EDII to NYU so had to tell him.
I’m going to take the side of the kid here- just to playback what I’m hearing.
Kid’s parents are divorced. Bio dad not in the picture except for a random phone call now and then. No child support (unless the Mom neglected to mention that), no moral/mental support, no loving parental guidance from him. AND- nobody bothered to spell out in the divorce decree that a man making in the six figures (100K? 200K?) would have to contribute a nickel to the kid’s college education. Where was the lawyer? Where was the mom?
Mom has remarried a man who also earns a comfortable living. But instead of a proper sit down where everyone outlines “here’s the goal (a college education) and here’s how we can make it happen”, it’s been a series of confusing and somewhat manipulative sound bites. Pay for Northwestern? Sure. Pay for something similar? No way. Get a job to help? Sure- but then you’re out of the house/in another state, i.e. kicking you to the curb. Mom earns a comfortable salary but instead of providing a budget, gives mixed messages about how getting along with the H is more important than giving straight communication to her kid.
Eesh. And you think the kid is spoiled? I think he’s in over his head with a bunch of grownups who refuse to be grownups.
OP- stop feeling guilty and start being a parent. Give your kid an actual budget- with no games- no “refunds” once he’s graduated, no finger on the scale for Purdue. Give him a budget and let him figure it out how to spend it. He can take the Federal loans, or he can persuade bio dad who seems completely uninterested in him to kick in a little more. But that’s his budget.
And hoping that he’ll save money for college while he’s working AND kicking him out of the house? Do you know what rent and heat will cost him??? How will he save money on a minimum wage type job if he’s paying rent? Talk about mixed messages. And you think it will be tough for you? He’s the one who’ll have to pay rent and food… methinks it will be tougher for him.
With Purdue at half off your husband sounds phenomenally generous to me. Purdue at half off also sounds like a no brainier.
You should also consider yourself a good parent in that you have a career that makes such an option possible.
I’m not kicking him out of the house, jeez! He really wants to work for this non-profit and if they won’t let him work remotely, he wants to go work out of state. He asked us to let him do that.
I waived child support in 2009 when I got divorced. Ex wasn’t in a good situation then. He recovered after a few years and I didn’t take him to court at that time. Ex sent 500/month. He will contribute about that through college, probably a little more, up to 1000/month if necessary. We will talk once we figure out where he goes.
We did give some mixed signals I think, that’s what I do feel very guilty about.
No. But Rutgers is 35K/year for in-state. I don’t think anyone was saying state schools are going to run you 40K/year. Just that there are a lot where 25K/year wouldn’t quite cover it.
So far, with the ex, we discussed and he is for Purdue or IU, clearly. He is against out of state.
I think OP may have been looking tuition. The Rutgers number of $35,000 would include room and board and other incidentals. Illinois is in between 31-36K
We don’t have the full details for the job. He will have a phone call to figure out the details after the holidays are over/early jan. He thinks that he’ll get paid somewhere between 3 and 4000$ because he has friends who worked there and they were paid 4K/month. Yes, it seems like a lot to me. But we can’t talk much about that until the offer is in hand and with details. Then we will see if it’s enough to live out of state (with a roomate). So far it’s premature to discuss the job. He wants it, I think it’ll be good for him. He doesn’t want to work at Chipotle and such but if the offer falls through, he will. Hopefully it’ll be something good with this job.
yeah I only looked at tuition for rutgers
Original post had “elite private college” mentioned. My point was you don’t need to go to a private school for CS. At time of post also didn’t know what state OP lived so OOS costs weren’t known. But yes, top CS schools OOS are expensive but not $75k/year.
Apparently OP lives in Indiana and gets a discount at Purdue. Son should have some good options on the table.