<p>Helicopter parents exist in many phases of our kids lives.... the description of this "mom" seems very extreme....while I do not agree with the last paragraph of Brodhead's speech.....I do agree with the underlying premise.....certainly college is a time to become yourself... I have told my summer sitters that college was the first time to recenter or discover who you were....your first chance to establish who you want to be.....leave behind who others thought you were and establish who you were...
sloppy, messy dorm rooms, kitchens and baths are all phases that many kids (boys and girls) will go thru....I know I crave organization but if I am overcommitted, then things can go to hell in a short period of time. A co-worker's son had to rent a house with friends, realize they were total slobs for him to wake up and understand that he can't live like that... not fun to experience, but certainly a learning experience. </p>
<p>I remain conflicted about all the contacts some kids and parents have. We have a program where 6th graders go away for 3 nite for team and character building exercises... kids told not to bring cell phones, some do... 7th graders go to Quebec, don't bring cell phones, some do, 8th graders go to Washington DC, don't bring cell phones, some do..... all of the parents received the same instructions we did and they ignored the rules and encouraged cell phones...... or worse, they didn't enforce the rules and confiscate their cell phones. Lots of chaperones, they all had phones...and we were all given a phone number to reach program directors if needed...</p>
<p>I saw this over the summer too with camps.... 1 kid we know refuses to answer his phone if he sees it is his mom...she will ask other kids to call him to get thru to him..... </p>
<p>when I travel with girlfriends, some are on the phone with their spouse 3X a day, some 1X a day, some not at all during the trip. We did a ladies nite one year at our ski mountain, one dad had to call and have his wife come home cause their S1 was throwing up...... she went, but major skills transfer on how to care for a sick child happened after that and he has never capitulated on his role as capable, caring parent since! </p>
<p>Al-Anon calls some of this type of behavior "enabling" and parents that swoop in and clean and organize time, study, social life etc are enabling their child to remain dependent.... my own kids are inconsistent cleaners....but, I have been able to link the state of their stuff/space to the range of privledges available.... and if my college son chooses to live like a slob, then he can..... </p>
<p>I do know that my own mom was a real stickler for picking up the house and she had her routines....Monday was the big clean day, beds always made early in the day..... and I know that even now, I feel a tad guilty with all the unmade beds around our house .... I like them made, but don't always make it a priority.... but I do not have a portable tool bag for cleaning supplies!!</p>