<p>Wait, I may not have read this carefully enough, but it didn’t sound like there was anything egregious going on – the individuals are paid, and if it’s common for them to wait and all, I don’t see an issue with that. I think that has to do with the fact that these drivers are more personalized, perhaps. </p>
<p>Now if they’re yelled at or abused, that’s a cause for concern.</p>
<p>But frankly, I know plenty of families in America with maidservants, and I’m quite certain none of them invites them in for a drink or something. We treat them as professionals, that’s pretty much it. Now I can see there being a semi difference in the professional relationship, but as long as this is a cultural difference, I’d not go overboard on it, most especially given your boyfriend seems to recognize the difference.</p>
<p>OK, well the part about sitting in the blistering heat seems different, and not so great. I unfortunately do not think it sounds practical to expect change so easily though, and agree with your boyfriend that this may have to change over generations. It may be very easy for you to find all this highly unusual, but to say a 70 year old man who’s been accustomed to things being this way…it may literally not be in his system to change without extreme shock therapy.</p>
<p>“I know I have no right to judge them on their culture…”</p>
<p>Despite the diversity brainwashing your teachers apparently gave you, you have every right to judge them on their culture. What if a few decades back the Brits and Americans had said, “Oh, those darn Germans…they’re at it again. But who are we to judge them on their culture of military aggression?”</p>
<p>OP: what can you do? like you said, they’re trapped in horrible jobs. not one person can change a whole way of society, not even Ghandi could. All you can do is treat them kindly and talk to your boyfriend. I agree. your bf shouldn’t treat them a certain way just because everyone else is doing the same. talk to him. if he doesn’t care or respect your wishes, then perhaps you guys weren’t as close as you thought. I’m indian but i’ve lived in American nearly my whole life and have never been to india since i was four. although i’ve never experienced this, i know it exists (its part of the reason i don’t want to go back to visit). </p>
<p>there’s not much you can do outwardly, but you can try to be polite and kind to the servants. maybe if you are, other’s will follow your suit. but you can’t make a permanent change. indians aren’t going to change b/c this is the way the culture is as unfortunate it is.</p>
<p>btw: i haven’t read through all the comments, but the ones asking about the caste system, i think i can explain its origins. way back, there were dark-skinned people inhabiting the indian subcontinent. they successful river-based civilizations. meanwhile, there was also a large population of light-skinned “aryans”(i believe) who i guess were nomadic or something. they migrated into the subcontinent and lo and behold, saw the dark-skinned people. the aryans(think hitler) took over the society and imposed their own beliefs and everything. if i remember my history lessons correctly, the aryans created a “system” to order their new mutant society based on skin tone. the fairest people were thought to be the highest. the darkest skinned people were the lowest. but overtime more and more people became mixed skin and overtime the system evolved to distinguish careers rather then skin tones, making priests highest and the “untouchables” the lowest of the low.
even though it was illegalized many years ago, the caste system still is strong especially in the rural areas. while it is religiously based, it determines a persons economic status because the lower statuses are not given as many chances for a bright education, food, water,etc. i’d recommend watching Swades since it really highlights the caste relationships in a rural village(and the songs are good).</p>
<p>This is my belief too. I think it’s something that must wither with the generations. I doubt anyone I know of my generation would treat servants as the aforementioned in the same manner, so it’s up to the people I don’t know! </p>
<p>Of course, it is important to be polite oneself, and all that, but there’s no use crying over a culturally ingrained phenomenon without a clear way to spur wild change. No use reprimanding someone who doesn’t love the cultural phenomenon without knowing (yourself) what to do about it. Asking one servant or two in for a drink for laughs is great, but it doesn’t change what’s really happening.</p>
<p>I lived in India for 12 years and what you’re describing is extremely normal there. I don’t think your boyfriend is doing anything wrong; it would be really dumb to fight with him over this.</p>
<p>Most servants my parents/grandparents have had are treated with respect and paid decently. The servants are in no way forced to be there. I’ve had conversations with many of them and they are usually very grateful to be paid and able to support their families. Many of their kids are actually going to school now.</p>
<p>I’ve seen India change drastically (economically and socially) in my lifetime and will continue to modernize. Your boyfriend can’t do anything, I would probably react the exact same way.</p>
<p>I just love all the people in this thread passing judgment and analyzing a culture that they have never lived in and a country that they have never even visited.</p>
<p>OP has two choices – she can live with it if she wants to stay with her boyfriend, or she can leave. Everyone has to deal with their SO’s parents, and your SO’s parents will always do something that you don’t like. Unless it’s illegal or threatens your life/health, you just have to grin and bear it.</p>
<p>I still don’t see exactly in what “terrible” way the servants are being treated. These are their jobs. Not everyone has a “cushy” job as the vast majority of Americans do. This is how many people in other places survive. </p>
<p>Also, OP it would be helpful if you could post other treatments/examples that you see as unfit.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Nice thread godwin</p></li>
<li><p>Do you know how WWII started in Europe? And do you know that the US was not involved when it started?</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Duh, Baron and soccerguy, the point is that it’s OK to voice one’s opinion on what other ethnic groups do, even if it’s part of their religion or culture. The OP’s comment that I quoted indicated she thinks whatever another group does is their business and nobody else’s.</p>
<p>I know exactly what this girl who wrote this thread is talking about. I understand the people in India not having very many jobs and the servant job might be the only one they can have but there is a difference from the servant jobs in U.S. and the one’s in India. In the U.S. There are laws that say a 40 hr. week is considered full-time (9-5pm) let’s say and any work above that is considered over time. I saw also in India, a servant that was working in the household I was staying where he was just available to them 24 hrs. a day-on call for any beck and call from the people I waas staying with AND I saw where the man of the house sits in his living rm., doesn’t even get up to throw a little piece of paper away; the servant does the most littlest trivial things and the man is so used to it. Why can’t he just move 2 feet to throw the little piece of paper away himself? The people in India who have these kind of servants wholl do anything are taking advantage and are going over board with these kind of tasks. Give me a break! Get off your butt and throw the trash away yourself!</p>