<p>Grinding is almost tame compared to getting pressure for handies and oral sex. It may not be “all the way” but these have become part of the casual hookup in a lot of places.</p>
<p>Grinding is bad at public schools, too! My two sons, on their own, decided that they won’t go to any more dances because of it. It’s sad!</p>
<p>@chukkerhead i think the difference is one can be done publicly and the other cannot. Grinding is so common that they can do it in public. The pressure for non clothing contact is greater especially since it’s in private. Be aware there’s a reason why every school says your door must stay half open with the lights on.</p>
<p>My daughter and her middle-school friends pity the grinder boys. They think they are annoying and pathetic. That line of thinking might eventually have an affect on these boys…</p>
<p>They look ridiculous, and my daughter thinks it is “way weird” how several boys grind on a girl at the same time. Haha.</p>
<p>Hopefully these girls will be the voices of reason… and stick up for themselves.</p>
<p>As a guide to how old I am (funny comparison): when I was in boarding school, the dance always culminated with “Stairway to Heaven” so that everyone who had been scouting and angling all night could slow-dance with someone to a really long song. Then it was off to the bus back to school… LOL I laugh thinking about it, but am very happy I didn’t have to contend with sweaty boys grinding me…</p>
<p>Oh my! I think I need to sit down.</p>
<p>(@london203: Yes, it my day, it was the Frankenstein sway to “Color My World”.)</p>
<p>My confident prep school daughter a couple of years ago, when asked about attempted grinding: “That’s why God invented knees!”</p>
<p>@PxAlaska - you are fast becoming my fan favorite :)</p>
<p>As for the thread - I wonder why people believe that kids are NOT “hooking up” at home out of the parents eyes. I remember when my daughter attended a very wealthy Catholic private school with strict codes of ethics. So it surprised me when the principal announced (our first year) that there had been four rapes in the first month. Then paused. Then explained it was not on campus, but off campus. The girls had lied to their parents about going to a friend’s house, and instead, went to a party where there was drinking. Two had been given rohypenol (roofies). The admonition was to “check” on what your children are doing. She went on to talk about the drug problem (kids trading their meds, or stealing them from their parents drug cabinets). Mind you this was a school with a parking lot filled with luxury cars and girls who routinely counted their allowance in terms of hundred dollar bills (not mine - lol!). Later, I tried to be social and attended the monthly “mom’s” luncheon for my daughter’s class. During that event the host regaled us with the story of her husband being out all night looking for their daughter who was missing. He ran into friends who were looking for her too. She was drunk, called for help because she couldn’t remember where her car was parked. The father finally found her in the company of two college boys. The punishment? Taking her car away. Another mom at the table said “How old were the boys?” The host said “Freshman” to which half the table agreed that wasn’t so bad because there was only a 2 year difference in age. I was sitting at the other end of the table with moms that had common sense, apparently. One whispered “What is wrong with this picture?” I just shook my head and stopped going. By senior year my daughter called and asked if she could sleep in her car during the senior camp-out. Why? Because the girls were drinking, smoking and doing recreational drugs even though the parents in the house nearby. Needless to say, daughter #2 said “no thanks” to the mirage of a school as an option. </p>
<p>I say that because the situation at BS is probably a bit better than it is at a local school because the students are under much more scrutiny (and sometimes random room checks). My daughters both talk to me about what is going on in their lives. Still, BS has its moments. DD was talking to me on the phone while working on a homework project and noted that she was ending early because the “local wildlife” was making out outside her lab. And if you want a real fun adventure - have your child pull out the school directory and tell you who is hooking up with whom. The campus all know. It’s often the same small group of people doing most of the “hook-ups” and the worst cases seem to be the students needing self-esteem and looking for love in the wrong places.</p>
<p>Hooking up is a component of any high school experience - but I wonder if the worst case scenarios are not as common as people believe and would be prevalent if the same students had stayed home. Still - it’s high school and kids experiment. As long as they go in knowing safe practices, have strong self-esteem, and know how to put the brakes on things that make them uncomfortable, they should be okay.</p>
<p>Wow. This thread has been truly enlightening. I understand now why my shy-ish son is not very enthused about attending school dances.</p>
<p>Hearts go out to @ExieMITAlum though I’m really more of an Andover/Yale fan. </p>
<p>I’ve never been to a grind-worthy dance as my school only hosts formal dances. This year (11th grade), I’m going to prom where the majority of people will have a date and it will be slow dancing. I don’t expect there to be grinding. Plus, my very good friend asked me to go with and he brought me flowers and pie with the word “prom?” in it and ice cream so I’m expecting a fun time. I could have used commas or split that sentence into smaller sentences. Oh well. As I continue to type I am making it more and more difficult to backspace. The mouse is too far away.</p>
<p>“Grind worthy”. Still laughing.</p>
<p>@Px There is no such thing as “Invasion of privacy” when I pay for the cpu and all that surrounds it. No offense but you are a child, and would likely feel mature enough to handle these issues. The same way many minor children do, but it always turns out the other way. My DS is in a great school, with a great opportunity so yes I am making sure he does not lose focus for quick tail.</p>
<p>+1 AceNtheHole</p>
<p>Can I make a tag cloud for this thread?</p>
<p>Also I disagree with the idea that it’s the boys that are the aggressors. I have seen with my own eyes girls attempting to ask him to “hang out” without a crowd. I worry about this more than grades right now. He is on a big campus with many places to feel invisible for a few moments. You can only hope the lessons you teach echo in their head.</p>
<p>I find your post offensive despite the “no offense” comment. I’d like to point out that I am not a minor and my parents rely on me for what you would consider “adult” material. I fill out my parents’ tax returns every year. I planned the boarding school interviews and tours. I’m the one who figured out the best cable/internet package for price and signed us up for our family cell phone plan. I make the calls on behalf on my family for credit cards, health insurance, and many other things. </p>
<p>We all have different opinions on parenting and I have never had a child. In the house I grew up in, we are all equal. A family is a team not a dependent relationship. My parents trust me to spend the house money wisely; they have provided me with love, general living necessities, and a quality education. They do not speak English so we have to work together. I have given them my passwords to everything. They have given me their passwords to everything (including PIN for debit cards). </p>
<p>I am driven differently. I would not lose focus in school and have not lost focus because it’s important to my family. And my family is the most important thing to me. This kind of focus is only because of the way my parents have raised me.</p>
<p>@Px I wish you well, but your lack of maturity is often exposed in your posts. Unfortunately AO’s see them also, and likely have figured out who you are. IMO The time you spend on CC could/should be focused in so many other places where a teenage boy would benefit in developing properly.</p>
<p>Thank you for your email. I’m fine with AO’s seeing them. I believe my arguments are well structured and aptly targeted. I think your lack of respect towards younger adults and rehearsed “no offense” phrases that are actually quite offensive, shine through your posts. I am aware of my schedule and I use CC as down time, not as a priority. I only visit this site after all of my other obligations are complete. I assume the same for you and will not suggest that you do something else. </p>
<p>I will say this though. You are older (assuming but fairly certain) and you do have the greater experience. Knowledge does not replace experience, but experience does not trump knowledge. Parenting is a hotly debated topic and there have been fine children from all sorts of families. I strongly believe your son will be a good man who does many great things. He will have you to thank for it.</p>
<p>@Px
From Merriam- Webster’s online Dictionary
knowl·edge noun ˈnä-lij</p>
<p>Definition of KNOWLEDGE</p>
<p>1
obsolete : cognizance
2
a (1) : the fact or condition of knowing something with familiarity gained through experience or association (2) : acquaintance with or understanding of a science, art, or technique
b (1) : the fact or condition of being aware of something (2) : the range of one’s information or understanding <answered to="" the="" best="" of="" my="" knowledge=""></answered></p>
<p>You cannot have knowledge without experience. Take your time and enjoy your youth. You only get one crack at it.</p>
<p>@Px</p>
<p>Wow. “I fill out my parents’ tax returns every year”? I need to give more responsibilities to my kids! You sound like a great kid. Your parents did a good job. Good luck to you on March 10th.</p>
<p>I agree, ProsParent +1</p>
<p>I’m wondering about some of the other responses picking on a student. I mean really - all of us as adults have had our “moments” too. And I remember when I got angry blowback for saying that students should drive the ship and pointed out that my D did all her applications, planning, flight arrangements, etc. It was the way she was raised. So I suspect the same may be true for PxAlaska. Some students mature in some areas faster than others, that doesn’t mean they’re not entitled to “teen” moments. And I know a number of local students who are doing the same things - many because their parents are foreign born and not native speakers. Can you imagine doing even simple taxes if your language skills are still developing?</p>
<p>I find Px’s posts enjoyable and exhuberant - not filled with some of the “puffery” we often see here. I don’t see how making cracks at a student is either helpful or reinforces our own maturity. Honestly - based on some of the comments PXAlaska has made, I’d jump her to the top of the list if only because she’s refreshingly original compared to the overly coached, perfectly prepped specimens I see on a regular basis. :)</p>