Hope...very long...

Parents Corner
1

<p>I'm posting this in the parents forum because I don't know where else to put this. The wisdom I've found in people older than me has always been inspiring, so perhaps that's what I'm aiming for here. I don't know.</p>

<p>I have dreams, I have huge dreams. I want so bad to explore the world. I want to experience new things and leave the old things which I consider restraining. I have so many things to say, my head is full of ideas, and I need an outlet for them all. I need to be challenged.</p>

<p>I guess that's what I'm looking for in a college. </p>

<p>But I am losing hope. I am poor. I am poor, there are no brand name clothes in my closet. Who am I kidding, I'm so poor my house doesn't have a closet. I just got a computer two years ago, I just got a cell phone a month ago, I still have no MP3 player. I own no video games. I own no DVD player or DVDs.</p>

<p>Even that, I could handle. Who cares about useless material things? What I can't handle is the fact that what I do have is the result of government hand-outs. What I can't handle are bill collectors calling my house all hours of the day looking for my father, who is never at home. What I can't handle is having to use a credit card to buy food, maxing out that card, then having no food. What I can't handle is seeing my father's shame in having to ask relatives for money.</p>

<p>When I turn 18, my father will receive $500 less each month. I turn in 18 in October. It's up to me to make up that $500 difference. If I don't, we won't eat. So that means I have to get a job. I've calculated that I will need to work a lot each day, most days.</p>

<p>My dad told me that I, barring a miracle, will not be able to go to any college that is not local. </p>

<p>What he doesn't understand is that it is essential to my existence that I leave West Virginia. That's where I live. If I see another Confederate flag, even though I'm still undecided on it's place, I will scream. If I see another pregnant 14 year old, who wanted to get pregnant, I will scream. If I see another parent buy a $20 bag of weed while their child literally is without shoes, I will scream. If I see another meth lab, I will scream. If I see another coal truck, the perfect metaphor of the coal companies which have raped these people and their land, I will scream.</p>

<p>I am screaming, I need to leave. If it sounds like I'm being unfair to my state, you're probably right. There's nice places in West Virginia. It's not all like that and it is slowly getting better. But where I'm is horrendous, and I need to leave.</p>

<p>The first problem mentioned is my intense poverty and my family's dependence on the income I may provide.</p>

<p>The other is grades. I was a straight A student until 7th grade. I was ahead of everyone in my class. I had the highest grade in math, the highest grade in science, I read at a 9th grade level in 5th grade. There's very good for a young West Virginian.</p>

<p>On October 2nd, 2001, the beginning of 7th grade, my mother died. I'm not exactly sure how to explain the impact on my life. But there were immediate changes. I gained 40 pounds, I never wore a shirt that showed my arms, I lost all faith in God, and I stopped caring about school. I completely lost all interest in school. My dad almost had to go to court as much as I skipped. For the first time in my life I only held a C average. I failed math a couple times. I slept all the way through pre-algrebra. Not long after I got suspended for smoking on campus.</p>

<p>I realized this couldn't go on so I promised myself I would be better in high school. By the time I entered high school I had lost my family, my reputation, and most of my friends. But I still excelled in the new environment. Middle school was so constricting, I loved high school. I forgot my mother for a while, I forgot my problems.</p>

<p>Then came sophmore year. This was the year my dad nearly lost everything to the repo man. This was the year...Well I failed pre-algebra in middle school. I made a C freshmen year in Algebra 1. So sophmore year I tackled Algebra 2, which is considered a very hard class at my school. I showed up high on cough syrup the first day. I showed up high on Vicodin the second day. I figured, this is how I'm going to do this. So I showed up high to that class almost everyday. I don't know how I got a C in there but I did, a 78 C. But I pretty much still struggle with pre-algebra concepts.</p>

<p>I took a ridiculously easy elective sophmore year and made a C in it. I was so disappointed. That was the best class ever, and I thought the teacher liked me. But I still made a C. Had I worked a little harder, made up a couple of assignments, I could have at least gotten a B.</p>

<p>That's when the change happened, the end of sophmore year.</p>

<p>That's when I decided to stop acting like a fool. The pills and weed would not make me feel good forever, and I realized that. I also realized that I did not want to live in West Virginia and end up like the rest of my peers, who were into bad things much worse than I was. I'm a motherless child who may end up in a foster home due to my father's issues, but it didn't matter. I gained an ambition to leave this area and do something great. I had always been a writer, but after I came to this conclusion all I could do was write. I have notebooks full of poems and essays, even though most suck, they express the new hope I had found. My life gained a new meaning, I earned my faith back, and I felt at peace finally</p>

<p>This past junior year has been fun. I dumped the old friends, or rather they dumped me when I stopped getting high with them. But I gained some new ones and made stronger the bond I had with my old ones. I had a 4.0 the first semester of junior year. I had a 3.75 the second semester, my only B coming in the form of trig. But still, a B in math. I haven't seen that since middle school. I believe I'm up to a 3.5 overall GPA.</p>

<p>I took the ACT on June 10 and I studied so hard for it. True, most of the math I guessed but I did know a lot. I can't believe how much I actually remembered. I'll take it again in October after I take some geometry and hopefully I'll know more.</p>

<p>So as much hope as I've gained, I still lose it every so often. For example, one of my dream schools is Georgetown. But why bother dreaming about it? I can't go. I'm too poor. Even with financial aid I hardly think I could make enough by working to support my family too. Not only am I too poor, my stats are too low. I don't think many prestigious schools care about my life story and the reason behind the fall and rise of my grades.</p>

<p>Let's face it, even if I had the highest grades in my little WV school, I'm still going to be at the bottom on my class in college. Educational standards aren't great around here. So even if a miracle did come I don't know if I would feel comfortable being surrounded by a bunch of kids whose allowance is more than my dad's monthly income, and who could outsmart me any given time.</p>

<p>The most logical option would be to go to a cheap, West Virginia school. But oh, how I hate logic.</p>

<p>I'm truly sorry this is so long. I apologize now for any arrogant or idiotic thing I have said in this, I hope there's not too much. I just need some advice. I need some reasons to keep hope alive. Got any?</p>

<p>Thank you, thank you.</p>

2

<p>I am sorry that you have such a rough time and I am glad to see that you have turned things around. I don't know what your prospects are. I don't think things are quite as hopeless as you seem to think. The fact that you are poor will work to your advantage somewhat in the financial aid department. You will still have to work summers and probably during the school year as well. You will have to take the loans that are offered, but it will be doable. </p>

<p>Next, you need to find someone at your school - counselor or principal would be best, but a teacher will do - who has a good picture of your situation and be willing to write a letter on your behalf. It is best to have an outsider explain your situation rather than trying to do it yourself. Colleges are aware that kids have a lot of issues that affect them and are willing to take that into consideration if presented in the right way. Also, colleges like to see that you have improved and matured over time and you should be able to demonstrate that.</p>

<p>Georgetown - Are you going to be able to get in and afford to go if you do? Probably not, but apply anyway. What have you got to lose? But realize it is a longshot at best and look at other things as well. Financially, WV schools will likely be easiest, but if you are willing to take on some debt, you may have other options. I would suggest you look at some of the PA and OH schools. The University of Pittsburgh might be a good option for you. </p>

<p>Lastly, understand that if you do end up going to a WV school, it isn't the end of the world. Find a school you like and concentrate on your studies. Do well as an undergrad and grad school will be interested in you. </p>

<p>The world is full of folks who have crummy things happen to them and they have found a way to make a better life for themselves. Take advantage of whatever opportunities are given you. Don't wallow in self pity. Work hard and keep your eye on your goals. You may not accomplish everything you want, but you will get a long way. And lastly, quit focusing on the things you don't have and focus on the things you DO have. There are people in your life who love you and care about you. They will help you if you ask. Focus on the fact that you HAVE turned your life around. Focus on whatever job that you find and be proud of the fact that you are contributing to the household. You can do this!</p>

3

<p>Hey, edit this down to 500 words (or 1000, depending on the application) and you've got an essay.</p>

<p>If your income is as low as you say and you can maintain your 3.75-4.0 grades and your ACT scores are decent AND if you can get your Dad to give the information for the FAFSA, you'll be in good stead and won't have to go to a West Virginia local school. Just find a school that promises to give you the difference between the calculated Expected Family Contribution (EFC) and the Cost of Attendance (COA).</p>

<p>For example, Wittenburg in Ohio is one such school. Go to their site, find their EFC calculator and put in truthful data. If you get accepted there, they are committed to paying the full ride if your EFC is zero. Find other schools like that.</p>

<p>You are in better shape than you thought. And believe it or not, going out of state will be cheaper than the local school (given that you choose a school that makes up the difference with financial aid).</p>

<p>Now realize that some of the aid you'll get will be in the form of jobs and some will be in the form of loans. Hopefully the loans will be small enough that you won't have a big debt when you graduate, but you always have the option of doing more work hours (second job?) in school.</p>

<p>Your feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help your perception of "logic." You just need some knowledge about where to look at what the possibilities are.</p>

<p>And you do have choices that will get you what you want.</p>

<p>And all of this depends on your ability to demonstrate that you have changed permanently. If the grades start creeping down again, you might blow this opportunity. How bad do you want your dream and how hard are you willing to work for it over the next few years?</p>

<p>Except for "bad stuff" I was in your situation. My parents had ZERO for my college. With loans, work, scholarships cobbled together, and taking 5 years to graduate instead of 4, I achieved my dream.</p>

4

<p>Thanks for the replies. I didn't mean to sound like I was pitying myself or feeling sorry for myself. I'm happy to have what I have, honestly. I'm happy to be alive and I do feel blessed in many ways. Many others have it far worse than I.</p>

<p>And, my income really is as low as I say. My dad, who is 61, was shot when he was working as a police officer. He only received disability and makes less than $23,000. I got free lunch and all. That coupled with mortage, car payments, credit cards, etc. leads to very little left over each month.</p>

<p>I have changed permanently, and I want my dream as much as I've ever wanted anything. I'm going to work as hard as I can on this. I'm committed.</p>

5

<p>Hi Potassium88</p>

<p>I, too, am sorry you are having such a rough time. Here are a few suggestions that you might look into.</p>

<p>Go to your local library, whether it be in school or your community, and look for college guides. I think Peterson's has a section on inexpensive four year colleges. See if anything might work out for you.</p>

<p>Since I am not familiar with schools in WV, I don't know anything about this school, but I found it online. It is called West Liberty State College. It was listed as No. 8 Best Inexpensive School in 1992's Peterson's Guide to Four Year Colleges. It has relatively inexpensive tuition, about $9 per year including room and board, has an English Major, internships in Washington D.C. and financial aid available. I know it is a far cry from Georgetown, but it might get you far enough away from your current environment. With financial aid, Pell grants, etc. it might not cost much at all to attend. (You can always look at Georgetown for grad school). </p>

<p>Next, use FastWeb to look for scholarships. Many of the ones listed are essays. Since writing is your interest, you may be able to land one or more. Also, many are listed for students with financial need. Also, look into the WalMart Scholarship. Although it is only for $1K, they give out alot. You need to show financial need and have at least a 2.5 GPA. Check it out on the Walmart website.</p>

<p>Lastly, in addition to taking the ACT, consider the SAT. Use the summer to review. Many students do better on one than the other. Don't report your scores to any of the colleges until you receive your scores, then only report the one that is better. This was the advice my son received from his guidance counsellor and it worked out well. He did better on the SAT. </p>

<p>Don't give up on your dreams....</p>

6

<p>K88 - I worked with a young man whose family was lost in the killing fields of Cambodia. No Mother, Father, Aunts, Uncles, etc. But he got to America and has, with great effort and discipline, made it. There's every reason that the opportunity exists for you also. Best wishes on your journey.</p>

<p>PS, Parents are a wonderful support group certainly. But college is about Y-O-U. Carpe diem.</p>

7

<p>Berea College is founded precisely for students like you. Free tuition for all students. Work-study for the rest of what it costs. Their endowment per undergraduate student is substantially larger than Georgetown's (and more than only 6 or 7 other places in the country.) The faculty is totally focused on making sure students LIKE YOU are successful. Your story will not be seen as particularly unusual, nor as one they haven't heard and dealt with before. You will not be an outlyer, you will not being living and studying on the fringes of the rest of the campus, you won't find ANY students with BMWs or Coach bags or summer vacations in Paris. You will find alumni who came through hard times just like yours, and are dedicated to making sure you can succeed. They exist precisely to foster the dreams of students like yourself.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.berea.edu%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.berea.edu&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Now, I won't kid you - it's not easy to get in. In fact, about as difficult as Georgetown, maybe more difficult when you consider the top half of the population economically isn't even allowed to apply. But they won't be put off by your tale of losing and then finding yourself.</p>

8

<p>The problem here is , you have to get busy. </p>

<p>You cannot sit and complain , you have to think things out and start doing things. First of all you need work. Go to your local state employment office, make an appointment with a counselor and make them help you find work. Second, you can apply to colleges, apply for as much aid as possible, find as many programs as possible to get into, take out loans for the rest and go off to college.Then find work there. As soon as you start reserching different colleges you will find something compatible.
ALL THESE SUGGESTIONS require action. People who are busy do not complain, they are too busy. You must use your brain and get busy and on with it. Once you are busy you will be happier.</p>

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<p>Potassium88
Also....file your FAFSA ASAP and apply to as many 'no application fee' schools as you can. You may be pleasantly surprised.</p>

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<p>Also...Did either of your parents, or any grandparents attend college? If not, you can apply for first generation college student scholarships.</p>

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<p>Potassium:</p>

<p>Don't give up hope. Berea is a good suggestion. Digmedia's suggestion that you turn this post into your essay is another one. Also fill out your FAFSA. apply to no feel schools or to schools that are willing to waive the application fee. They'll say so on their admission website.</p>

<p>Ask your teachers and GC for recommendation; make sure you give them all the information they need to write great ones, including anecdotes from class, but also information about your family situation so that they can put things into context. This will enable them to write a rec that is not generic and is all about you.</p>

<p>Look into colleges that do not require SATIIs; some may not even require SAT or ACT. Are you a URM? There are some colleges that seek actively to diversify and may be able to give you a full ride. </p>

<p>Good luck, and come back for more advice and support!</p>

12

<p>Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I'm only trying to help you. There seems to be a lot of hypocrisy in what you say. You criticize people for buying weed rather than shoes, but you yourself bought weed despite your less than affluent family conditions. You complain about the uninspired, uneducated people around you but you didn't seem to put in a lot of work in school yourself.</p>

<p>The good news is, colleges love upward trends, and you shouldn't have to justify the poor fresh/soph grades too much given your mother's passing and your family's income. If I were you, I would write an amazing essay given your unfortunate circumstances. Whatever you do, DON'T sound self-pitying in the essay. Get some good recs, get good SATs and you should be in the running. Most colleges, even private universities, enroll most students at below the sticker price. You may have to take out some loans or work on campus, but they will accomodate you.</p>

<p>Finally, don't rule out community college/local universities too soon. It is a whole different ballgame, even if you're going to school with many of the same people. If you want to learn and work hard, you will have the resources to do so. After a couple years at CC, you can make enough money to attend an affordable university on your own. Transferring isn't is hard is some people make it out to be.</p>

<p>Good luck, and don't forget that poverty, weed, apathy, etc is virtually everywhere, even in big cities and on the coasts. Don't let other people's choices influence you or bring you down. Travelling the world is a very realistic dream, provided you work hard for it and live within your means.</p>

13

<p>Potassium, I like the posts here with concrete, specific information for you, and I like Backhandgrip's post best of all - it's perfect advice for you, and you should print it out and put a copy in your wallet.</p>

<p>You need to take immediate action - ANY action - right now. Do it in little steps, but each and every day, you need to execute on some incremental steps that will build your path out of this situation. Make up your mind you're going to apply for one part time job each day until you find one; you can do this by asking teachers, store clerks, whoever you can think of. Then, start working on your college list. And your essays. And your applications. </p>

<p>Action stimulates collateral activity, and if you start with a series of actions on a daily basis, you'll be very, very busy before you know it, and then you won't have any room in your head for negative or sad thinking. (Not that you're not entitled to it - but negative thinking isn't going to help you - or your father - right now.)</p>

14

<p>Also, look into the questbridge program. If accepted, they pay full tuition, room & board, travel etc. Just google it. As for work - get rid of the cell phone, cut your expenses to the bone, see if you can get food pantry/free school lunch and breakfast, etc. and get a job with as few hours a week as possible. This is time for you to be selfish and concentrate on your future. Your focus should be on getting the BEST grades in school and the BEST scores you can possibly get and spending time APPLYING for scholarships/ colleges / programs that will help you afford college. This coming year is crucial for your college possibilities. Please do not try to "bail out" your dad or help him pay off the credit card bills. There will be time to do that when you are adult.</p>

15

<p>Alice Lloyd College in Pippa Passes, KY is another affordable college with specific financial programs for residents of targeted Appalachian counties.</p>

16

<p>you post was very touching... in fact, i think many parts of it should make it to an application essay.</p>

<p>i also suggest berea college. it's looked rather highly upon in the appalachian region (where i'm from), as well as being known throughout the country. </p>

<p>if the community college near you is anything like the one near me, i would leave that as an absolute last option. remember, however, that even a cc education is better than none at all. cc's do great things, but just arent for people, like yourself, who want to get out for awhile and see what things exist beyond your neck of the woods.</p>

<p>others have offered excellent advice... get action NOW. this might sound a bit silly, but PLEASE get good sleep while doing so. i know, first hand, that it's far too easy to cut back on sleep in order to make more time in a day, but a good night's rest makes the day so much more exciting, less tiring, and much much more plesant. </p>

<p>good luck!</p>

17

<p>Research scholarship opportunities for dependents of law enforcement personnel, especially those injured in the line of duty. If the parents of your new friends know your story and seem knowledgeable about college stuff, enlist their help. And keep in mind that you cannot support your father and your college dreams too. As much as you may want to make up for the hardship he has had in his own life and ease some of his pain, that isn't your responsibility. Do what you can but concentrate on keeping your grades up and getting to a better place yourself. Then, after college, you will be in a far better position to help your father.</p>

18

<p>have you considered the military?</p>

19

<p>I have close family in/from West Virginia... so here are some thoughts:</p>

<p>WVU is fairly inexpensive in-state, and unless I'm mistaken, they do give out merit scholarships. Morgantown is a really, really nice town... and from what I've seen, it's much more liberal (less Confederate flag stuff) than southern WV. Fairmont State is located just a few miles away from Morgantown, so you could easily have all of the bonuses of Morgantown and not go to WVU.</p>

<p>As other people have said, Berea in KY was made for people in your situation (two aunts, one uncle, and one cousin all went there, and all of them loved it). College of the Ozarks, in MO, would also be a good choice; they have the same set-up as Berea. The College of New Jersey in NJ and Truman State University in MO are both good schools that are pretty cheap, far away from WV, and give automatic scholarships (which, depending on your GPA/ACT score, you will probably receive).</p>

<p>You might want to try small LACs or small state schools in the west or midwest (e.g. Coe College in IA, the University of Wisconsin-Stout, etc). They would love to get someone from WV, and would probably shower you with scholarships. Also keep an eye out for diversity scholarships.</p>

<p>Another possibility... go to a community college out of state for two years, work, get great grades, and get a Phi Theta Kappa scholarship to a good school to graduate from.</p>

20

<p>The College of New Jersey (TCNJ) was originally known as Trenton State. Since it changed its name to TCNJ, it has become more popular with in-state students. According to their website, the average SAT for entering freshman is about 1300 MV for regular admits. It's tuition, room, board and fees for out-of -state students is about $25K/year.</p>