<p>"A $20 bill made me feel rich!! Unfortunately, my D will never experience that feeling. When she needs money, I can just access her account and transfer it. "</p>
<p>Call me helicoptery, but I love “sneaking” a $20 bill to my kids on occasion when I see them. They’re still young enough it’s a lot to them.</p>
<p>I dont think the $20 is helicoptery. Nor is sending cookies from time to time. The occasional small gesture is timeless. </p>
<p>Now sending $20 or cookies to the Calculus professor…</p>
<p>College orientations for parents. I do like the idea. If I am there anyway to help Junior move in, give me a little something to do or see. I like the tour of campus and to get the lowdown on what to expect in some areas that are relevant to me, like housing or financial aid or health services. UT does a nice campus watch presentation from the police. It is done with humor and common sense. The police just reiterate how our students can be careful with their persons and their stuff. And I don’t think it is too helicoptery to remind kids to be careful. If I expected a daily text before bedtime to check that Junior was safely tucked into bed, but would be too much, but to tell him to be sure and lock up his bike, there has been a strong of thefts doesn’t seem like too much. </p>
<p>When she was home I gave her cash all the time. Now, alas, electronics is easier. When I see her I will be glad to pass her a greenback or two!!</p>
<p>Hey, I still like the family reunions where uncles and aunts sneak a few twenties in your hand! And I loved the care packages with exotic food and a small envelope. I think my dad finally cut me off my automatic Sbux reload that went to his CC. </p>
<p>I too have done the $20 thing often. Sometimes I want them to feel free to enjoy themselves or make their week a little easier by picking up Panera or whatever. That’s not helicoptering - it would be if I told them when or where they had to spend it!!! 
Haha on slipping the calc prof a $20!!! </p>
<p>Oh Xiggi, you brought back memories of my family reunions. As we were all about to head our separate ways, an uncle or two would reach out to shake my hand, and furtively (not very!) slip a $20 into my palm. I would be sort of embarrassed, since I had a pretty decent scholarship at college, worked a campus job, and made pretty good dough during the summer back at home. When I tried to decline his gift one time, one of my uncles said, “whatsamatter, are they giving away sandwiches for free at your school now?”</p>
<p>With Lake Jr., I slip him some cash whenever he’s in town on break, which like me years ago, he seems somewhat embarrassed to accept. Like you all, I’ve tried to strike a balance between his independence, and being available to him to help him learn some of the things about college and life that no one told me when I was his age. I think the most important thing we parents can do is to remind our children that they are no longer children, but that we will always have their backs. One mea culpa. I finally have been able to resist buying new clothes for him without his counsel. THAT was a tough one. Don’t all college kids need jeans? LOL.</p>
<p>^^</p>
<p>Applaud LakeWashington! </p>
<p>“I think perhaps the biggest sign of true helicoptering is not how much you talk to your kid, but how much you talk to other people to address your kid’s problems (such as professors, RAs, the dean, etc.).”</p>
<p>This is true. Parents should not be doing those things except in except in extraordinary circumstances. </p>
<p>However, I would add that while the press likes to write about “helicopter parents”, in reality the far larger problem is parents who are too uninvolved with what their children are doing. That seems to continue to be ignored.</p>
<p>The last time the kiddos were here was the first time we truly forgot to give them what has been referred to as the “obligatory 20”. I do , though, still buy DS#2 flip flops with great regularity, and give or ship them to him. Thats been the other “tradition” that somehow developed. Have probably bought him 20 pr of flip flops, at least. He goes through them quickly.</p>