Be very, very happy she’s not at USC making a really expensive mistake. Tulane really wants to make itself a premier school and goes out of its way to provide campus-wide student activities and foster a sense of belonging to a student community. It may be a bit of culture shock to someone from California as many people come from the East and Southeast. While USC also wants to be a premier school it makes ZERO effort to accommodate freshmen and instead cedes everything to the Greek system, while relying on its sports team “rah-rah Trojans” mentality as a substitute for real school inclusiveness and spirit. The extra add-on costs of student life at USC are also outrageous as the school charges extra for pre-matriculation mandatory registration visit, a $350 “new student fee,” etc. etc. If a freshman doesn’t buy a season football ticket before the start of school, USC shuts them out from buying individual game tickets and effectively shuts them out of the entire first semester weekend social scene which revolves around Greek system tailgates. Tulane is MUCH more diverse in school social offerings and NOLA, especially Uptown/Carrolton, is a great place to be (as long as you are careful). And the food at Bruff is amazing!
@dblgraddad --wow, if that’s true about USC, my D would be 100% miserable there. I’m glad it was never on her radar.
(Somehow while editing, my original post disappeared so I’m re-posting) - Be glad she didn’t make a really expensive mistake by going to USC. Tulane is trying to become a premier school and goes out of its way to provide campus-wide student events and foster a sense of inclusiveness. By contrast, while USC also aspires to become a premier school, it’s stuck in big state school mentality (yes, I know it’s NOT a state school - but it acts like one) - it completely neglects incoming freshman, instead ceding student social life almost entirely to the Greek system which it permits to do rush during “welcome week” - turning kids into pledge slaves and immediately dividing the student body before friendships even have a chance to develop or classes have started. USC also relies on “rah-rah Trojans” sports team support as a substitute for fostering real school unity. And USC has tons of extra cost “add-ons” - charging to attend a mandatory pre-matriculation registration, a $350 new student fee, etc. etc. While touting their sports teams as evidence of their school spirit, they charge students hundreds for season football tickets (available only before the season starts) and then deny students the ability to buy individual game tickets during the season, effectively shutting those who don’t have a season ticket out of the entire first season weekend social scene which seems to consist almost entirely of pre-game tailgates. Students who buy “regular” public admission are then not allowed in the student section! Tulane will be a much better experience and your daughter will adjust - it may be somewhat of a culture shock for someone from California as many at Tulane are from the East and Southeast, but Tulane is FAR more attentive to student needs. NOLA is a great town and Uptown is a great neighborhood. (but you do have to be careful). Sadly, because so many people recognize how great the University/Carrollton neighborhood is, the surrounding student “ghetto” off-campus living options have been reduced as houses are converted back to $700K private residences. And the food at Bruff is great!
It’s great that all Tulane students can get into all games free.
@dblgraddad. Wow! I am sorry you have such a poor view of USC, but I need to step in here. First of all, only 20% of USC is Greek. The other 80% of students make friends by joining the many clubs and organizations on campus. Perhaps your child did not get into the Greek organization they wanted? There are some that are extremely difficult to get into, but there are many others that are open and welcoming. If that was the case, your child should have spent time getting to know the other houses. Some take pledges after the initial drive.
Regarding the freshman experience, I was really impressed with the efforts USC made to integrate my son as a freshman from arranging his living situation to provide opportunities in his department and campus-wide to meet people. It has not flowed smoothly. He initially had a bad roommate and there were some organizations he did not get into right away, but there were many other opportunities for him to integrate and meet people, so after time he met his group and loves it.
Season football tickets at USC are COVETED and ridiculously cheap for students, especially compared to the public rate. Yes, students do need to purchase a package before school starts, but the student seating is great and it is a great atmosphere for game day, providing an ongoing social event for new students so they can meet people. Trojan spirit does not just center around the games, however. Trojans feel that USC’s reputation is growing with its many highly regarded academic programs, and its alumni are very supportive of one another.
Regarding the “ghetto” aspect. USC has done perhaps the best job of any university integrating into the surrounding community. Most of the people living in the surrounding neighborhoods depend on USC for their livelihoods and would like to send their children to USC (USC has long-term partnerships with local public schools). Security around campus is amazing and getting better. There is also the the new Trojan Village with Trader Joes, Target, housing and a beautiful new gym available for all students.
My son could have gone to a cheaper, ostensibly higher-rated universities, but chose USC, and he has never regretted it. None of his friends have either, and he has gotten new friends who transferred from other Universities who were unhappy with their initial choices.
For the original OP, the financial issues for your daughter are a serious concern. I am sure she will find her group at Tulane, but if she is miserable, she could consider attending community college for two years, saving money, then transferring to USC where I am sure she will thrive, as my not-a-social-butterfly son has.
FWIW Tulane is just over 40% Greek.
To stay on topic. For my children I found it was worthwhile to take Public Transit to somewhere off campus and just clear their head for a few hours. Labor Day weekend can be tough if a large portion of the students head home for the weekend and the dorms empty out.
It’s not a matter of not getting into a preferred Frat - by opting not to pursue Frat, socialization with those who do is cut off right away by Greek indoctrination especially when that starts even before classes - from what I see (and there are exceptions) many private schools with Greek systems recognize this problem and don’t allow rush until Spring. Also, your point about tickets being coveted highlights, but misses the point - is USC committed to operate as a big sports promotion, pro-sports feeder business like a big state school? Or as a school primarily committed to its students? Why not reserve a chunk of day of game tickets for students who missed the pre-season purchase deadline? Especially freshman who may not have been familiar with the importance of game day or realized they would be effectively cut out of attending any games at all. It seems USC prefers making money off the ticket sales to alumni and the public than to increasing attendance opportunities for its current students.
Also, no objections about the USC neighborhood. It’s a city. I was merely pointing out to the OP that Uptown NOLA is a fantastic place to live and go to school.
I don’t want to hijack this thread to discuss the virtues of USC. I will just say that not all srats at USC are the same. There are a few that are “exclusive”, and you do not see their members associate much with others on campus. That is a tiny group, though, they just seem bigger on game day thanks to the pop up parties. There are other srats that are open and welcoming. My son is in a frat that is considered one of the friendliest and he remains friends with his old roommates and school mates who decided not to participate in Greek life, even inviting them over. I suggest that anyone who is interested in Greek life at USC spend time getting to know the houses before deciding to join. There is a Spring Rush available for those who prefer to look before they leap.
Regarding football tickets, the money surrounding university football, and whether that is good or bad, could take up its own thread. Tickets are highly sought, so USC needs to make them available to students early or they will miss out. Students who want to attend a game and haven’t gotten tickets can get them from others though. My son has often given away unused tickets to people in his housing or friends. You might not get to see USC vs. UCLA, but you can find tickets to some great games if you network.
Regarding the OP, Tulane is a wonderful university and I know a girl who went there as her first choice. I recommend to any student who wants to integrate into a new university, to get an on-campus job. According to the Chancellor of UCSB, who spoke at a presentation I attended a few years ago, students who work on campus have a higher rate of degree completion. It’s a great way to get out of your dorm, meet people, build a resume, and meet people.
USC is unaffordable for this kid. We should focus on helping the OP help her daughter adjust to Tulane. It is a little old school, but have you sent a care package? Enough cookies to share, and maybe a gift card to a coffee shop or something?
Is Tulane really affordable? What about the numbers for a UC?
Scholarship rate at Tulane is cheaper than USC full pay (almost anywhere will be cheaper ). I think that was the whole point. USC never really was the fallback, so if adults are talking about it as if it was, who can blame a teenager? USC is thread drift at this point.
After scholarship, my son’s COA at Tulane was less than in state COA at UVA, at least for this year.
We agreed to fund my daughter’s college experience for the average cost of a UC, which we deemed as $35k. The remaining balance was on her.
Tulane provided what is essentially a half-tuition scholarship (guaranteed in subsequent years based on GPA). She had to take a full subsidized and partial Perkins loan to attend. No private or unsubsidized loans were needed.
USC provided a third-tuition grant (non-guaranteed in subsequent years). She would have had to take full subsidized and unsubsidized loans in addition to a small private loan. The yearly private loan amount would decrease as the federal loan balance increased each year.
The difference between the loan amounts needed for each school was not that far. She applied for scholarships at USC and didn’t get any. We were surprised that she received such a generous grant, but the amortization of the unsubsidized and private loans really packed a punch she couldn’t overcome. Even though the financial aid office said the grant would “probably stay”, she didn’t feel comfortable with the overall financial impact.
@TheParentLurker
I’m not sure why people continue to question the financial aspect of your daughter’s decision and how you handled the process. I was very impressed earlier in the thread when you explained how you set a clear dollar amount with your daughter in advance so she knew how much support you were able to provide, you helped her understand what loan payments would actually look like down the road, etc. You also helped her think through the GPA requirement for the scholarship. Kudos to you! It sounds like you handled the whole process beautifully.
And you are doing a great job now, too, to support your daughter. It’s very hard, but you are using your resources and doing what you need to do to get through this. Keep up the good work. Your daughter is very lucky to have you as a parent. 
@Springbird, the point is that the kid would have taken out $100K in loans for USC. That is unaffordable for anyone. So any discussion that the kid should be talking USC transfer (as some posters have brought up) is untenable. Even with 2 years of CC, it sounds like it would be $50K in loans, which is still a lot. So it is best to focus where the kid is now and try to help them adjust. Honestly – most kids DO adjust. Heck, my kid in grad school was grousing the first week, but second week (today), I got a text that announced that she really likes grad school. Odds are pretty good that things will turn around for the OP’s kid, but the OP needs to not be bringing up or encouraging transfer talk at this point. It is counterproductive, even if there are cheaper options. At a minimum they will want their kid to finish the semester with good grades if possible, as any future transfer is a lot easier with good grades.
Thank you, @Springbird.
No one is talking about transferring at the moment. My focus is on getting her comfortable at Tulane.
We intended the application process to also be a learning process. We didn’t restrict her applications, while knowing full well she couldn’t afford some unless she received the scholarships to which she applied. USC, WUSTL, and Michigan all fell in that category. You can’t always get what you want even if it’s standing right in front of you.
Over the past few days, it’s become apparent that the issue is not with Tulane. Rather, the issue is processing change and powering through adversity. I believe had she stayed closer to home, she would be coming home more often and stunting her path to adulthood.
As on overall update, we are seeing a 180 degree improvement. On Friday, she was very fearful of the 3 day weekend and begged us to buy a plane ticket home. After being denied, she went on the riverboat cruise and had a horrific time. Every person she approached joined a group after their conversation. It might’ve made matters worse. But on Saturday she hung out with a girl she met at orientation and Sunday another group of people. We stopped getting the doom and gloom texts and received some lively snaps. Today, she sent a snap saying “loving college right now, hope it lasts”. We FaceTimed and there was nothing negative at all, only asking if she could fly home on Fall break, because her friends were going home. We said no. There was barely any push back.
So we’re very happy and relieved! We’re sure there will be more ups and downs, considering her personality, but we’ll take what we can get now!
Thank you to everyone who posted. All the posts were very helpful and we appreciate it more than we can expres. We will continue to update her progress, and hope that this thread can be used to aid other parents experiencing the same issues as we did.
Glad to hear your daughter is doing better! Fingers crossed that this will be the beginning of her happiness at college.
I’m not familiar with Tulane’s inner workings, but for fall break, my kids’ colleges would offer low to no cost options through both the outing clubs and orgs involved in community service. Your daughter might want to see what is available at Tulane but found this online:
https://apm.activecommunities.com/tulanecampusrecreation/Activity_Search
If outdoors stuff isn’t her thing, there are probably other groups organizing fall break activities.
Very glad to hear that. My daughter, on the other hand is getting worse. We had a nice FaceTime conversation with her Friday night and things seemed “ok”. She said “we” went to lunch at one point, so that gave me hope. I tried not to yell " who is we- are you making friends???" I tried to play it cool. But her boyfriend came to visit for the weekend (he’s going into the military and it was the only chance he would have to see her before Christmas probably). So that took her out of any weekend activities, if she even would have gone to anything. Yesterday I got the crying phone call when he left. Today my husband got the call about not being able to keep up with the work and having no friends. She doesn’t want to sign up for anything because she doesn’t think she will ever have time to do anything besides work. She doesn’t know why people like college. She is very unhappy. And I’m miserable and sick to my stomach. I know everyone on CC says not to give them advice, but would it really be so bad to try and give her tips on making friends and telling her why signing up for clubs will be beneficial?
Of course, you can give your D advice! I never meant my comments to be black and white.
I try hard (after years of failing at this) to ask my D what she thinks would help as opposed to trying to fix it for her. But of course you can get the ole NOTHING. When my D isn’t requesting advice but I NEED to give it (or I’ll explode) I do:
For big issues I give it as an “expectation”. “You are at college, you need to do the basics. I expect you to try an activity, if you get too busy, you can re-evaluate it at that time.” You have a right (particularly if you are footing some of the bill) to express expectations. But remember they are adults and may not follow it. Only time will tell…but in most cases…they won’t want to fail. I wouldn’t tell them that it will all get better if they just do A, B or C…I would just tell them you expect them to make an effort and see how it goes.
For small issues I now have a little “cue” to take the edge off the overly simplistic motherly advice (which is usually right) and minimize any sarcastic reply…I say “As you mother, I’ll always tell you to floss your teeth each day…and right now you need to call your bank to take care of that issue.”
You need to decide what’s best for your kid…the caution on advice (when not requested) is that sometimes you are so busy trying to fix their problems you aren’t really listening nor ASKING THEM WHAT THEY THINK MAY WORK. Good luck…but after the bf left…yea it will probably be a hard week…I wouldn’t talk her out of her bad feelings…but maybe set some expectations. Hope this helps in some way.