How to deal with my mother?

Parent Cafe
41

<p>If you are a senior then all the applications and paperwork are already in, is that correct? You are just waiting for decisions and financial aid awards?</p>

42

<p>Yeah i’m waiting for financial awards and decisions.</p>

43

<p>We’re pulling for you on those awards and decisions…good luck. But that’s a bridge you have to cross when you come to it. Since you’re in NY, I’m assuming you’re attending a large public high school, although the school social workers and psychiatrists are probably overworked, it’s worth checking in with them in the event that they can be helpful. You mentioned that your parents don’t speak english, is there a private or public organization that assists your ethnic group that you can speak to? They may be able to provide some assistance with your mom or even scholarship info. Even the local congressional office may have a list of resources for you or your mom. No question that you’re between a rock and a hard place. Hope things work out for you.</p>

44

<p>Since your parents are most likely low-income, it sounds like you’ll get the full Pell grant ($5500), TAP ($5000) and work-study. You may have to borrow some bucks but graduating with $20k debt would not be the end of the world. Going away to a SUNY is within your grasp. And if you get into a private school with good need-based aid, so much the better!</p>

45

<p>School social workers may be helpful but there is a chance that they will involve child protective services. It is too bad that that is the case, because this poster does not sound like someone who wants the family split up. It is possible that CPS would bring resources that are helpful, but it would be under duress and not voluntary. Most people that this poster could talk with are mandated reporters. Maybe NAMI is a place to start.</p>

46

<p>lilmelonred: my mother was like this when I was growing up. The only way I survived was to go to college 1,500 miles away. My suggestions for help would be:

  1. Go to college on the other side of the country if you can. You’ll be amazed at how much financial aid is available. And you’ll see that there are 50 other states in which you can live.
  2. If you have to stay around home to go to college, can you get an apartment with some other kids or live in a dorm? Any way to get out of the home will help you.
  3. Check Amazon.com for books on toxic parents. There is one book called something like “When I don’t get along with my Mother” or something like that. Lots of good books are available at the local library (where you can read the day away from home) or online.
  4. Check to see if there is a free mental health counselor available to you. Your guidance office at school or your family doctor might know of one. Just talking to a professional once a week for an hour will help alot.
  5. Ask your family doctor about being tested for anxiety and/or depression.
  6. Realize that you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family. You’re stuck with your family. But that doesn’t mean you have to like them or live with them.
  7. If worse comes to worst, you can always get a new “family.” You’ll meet folks in college and later in your 20’s who can become your support group.
  8. You’re not alone. I don’t know anyone who has a Cleaver family…</p>