<p>Is there a Toastmaster’s club in your area? Are there youth drama classes at the local community theater? Either of those would be great ways to practice public speaking and perhaps make some new friends and practice your skills. Have you considered joining a music group? That is another way to make friends and you mentioned your love of music.</p>
<p>You can call your local United Way office and ask them if they have any volunteer opportunities. You could also volunteer to help with a local candidate, where you could meet a LOT of people in this election year!</p>
<p>How to talk with Practically Anybody about Practically Anything, by Barbara Walters. On Amazon. Very old. Don’t say you already read it.
Other books with similar titles. Eg, How to Talk to Anyone, by Leil Lowndes.
Read books like these. Ponder them. Try to practice on your own. Then go out there and practice for real. As my mother would say (don’t worry, I hated the advice,) “The world isn’t going to come to you.”</p>
<p>When you first get to college, don’t turn down any social invitation (unless the proposed activity is illegal or dangerous.) If the group on your floor is going to a movie that you don’t want to see, go anyway. If they are going out for fast food and you don’t eat fast food, go anyway and have an iced tea. (If you have no spending money, look for a job - 8 hours a week is enough to finance a decent college-kid social life.) If you turn down a couple of social invitations, people will assume you aren’t interested and will stop asking. </p>
<p>Also, I second volunteer work - charitiable, religious, a political campaign, etc. I bond better with people over an activity - just sitting and talking doesn’t work all that well for me.</p>
<p>Read “The Silent Language of Leaders” to learn about body language. You need to understand that most people won’t want to talk to you unless you carry yourself in a confident manner. Practice confidence in how you walk, talk, and act.</p>
<p>Develop a little style. You are doing yourself a disservice trying to blend. Feel free to strut and peacock - big sunglasses, frost your hair, tight colorful shirts, anything that makes you appear like you don’t give a rip about what other people think of you, because you shouldn’t. If it is an issue for you, start running and lifting weights - strength builds confidence.</p>
<p>Practice approaching people. Try to do this every day. You can start gently with people who are paid to be nice like store clerks, but work your way to being comfortable approaching beautiful girls your own age and powerful men. Keep interactions short at first (pretend to be in a hurry) so that the people know you won’t be keeping them captive. Make sure you approach in a non-threatening, non-creepy way.</p>
<p>Contrary to what people are saying, I find “what’s your major, where you from” lines dismissive and the interview method of talking to people tiring. Be a little imaginative with your introductions. </p>
<p>As a speech pathologist who works with students with Asperger’s all the time, I am amazed and astounded at the insight of the above posters. You have just received a goldmine. Read and reread - better than absolutely ANY book I know. And 3 tuitions? I tried to PM you to ask if I could quote that gumball analogy, but your mailbox was full - that is golden. Asking for help and being motivated to adjust is the most critical thing. </p>
<p>You know, one of the “biggies” in my profession wrote a book a while back called “Thinking About You, Thinking About Me.” The specific book isn’t appropriate for you, but the big picture concept is. Most people with social skills issues are thinking about their own perspective and what they think and what others think about them. In a sense, they are thinking about themselves, and assuming that others are thinking (and judging" them all the time too. If you focus instead on the other person and their perspective, you become more interesting, more approachable, and more confident. When I walk in a room thinking about how I look, speak, and act, I am more shy, less apt to reach out to others, and less spontaneous. The more you can think about THEM, the more comfortable you will be. Think OUTWARD focus - not inward. And by the way, we ALL have social skill issues - some days/situations are better or worse, but you aren’t the only one. </p>
<p>I second the Toastmaster’s recommendation this summer - really helps with spontaneous thinking…</p>
<p>In hs, I read this line that rarely disproved itelf: don’t spend every social situation worrying about what others think about the size of your nose; they’re all worrying what you think of the size of theirs. I just wanted to add that to shoot’s comment.</p>
<p>OP started by saying he somehow thinks the comments he makes, the sort of interactions he has, are quirky and off. He didn’t say, “I’m me and I like me.” If that’s the case, confidence will come with successful interactions- not necessarily simply joining a host of activities and, so to say, going in blind. He seems to want to tune his skills, not just find a venue to rub shoulders. He wants to connect. </p>
<p>So, I agree there’s value in joining activities, but suggest he aim for small triumphs at first- being satisfied with the small talk with someone sitting near in class or living nearby. Baby steps. As confidence grows, as the repertoire and comfort level increase, he adds more challenges. Just imo.</p>
<p>Btw, talking with cashiers is super practice- I do it all the time. You’re there, face-to-face, they’re used to dealing with hundreds of people filing through, they’re supposed to be nice- and you only have a few minutes before you have to move on.</p>