<p>Well, Im a first year freshman at college. I met this girl who seemed wonderful and all that I wanted.
But halfway thru the year she told me she got a boyfriend. But she would still like show obvious signs she liked me so I kept talking to her. But like then its almost the end of college. I look back: what have we accomplished? nothing but small chats whenever we bump into eachother (which is rare since we have different classes now), a few text conversations on the phone after i got her number (but i stopped after she told me about her bf) and thats it. even though i know she likes me it really makes me mad. the one class we have together once a week, we dont even sit next to or near eachother. we're like too shy or nervous.
she wouldnt even consider me a friend. rather an acquaintance.
I check her facebook. She is being loved by her boyfriend who she apparently skypes everyday.
On top of this, there is this other guy she met at college too. They are good friends. They often tease eachother and write on eachothers walls . They have tons of facebook pictures together. They live on the same floor of the dorm so they often go out with their floor together to activities and parties. You often catch them sitting next to eachother in class.
I look at it from my standpoint. Me and this guy have known her for about the same amount of time since college started. I have no facebook pictures with her. I dont know the people on the floor as well as I live on a different floor.
And on top of ALL of this, she is doing well in school, getting good grades, premed, she is in a swimming club which she attends four times a week, shes also part of the schools music orchestra. Shes also has a job at the hospital shes going to continue over the summer. me, on the other hand, Im taking just the same classes. Im not part of any clubs. Im constantly scared I wont have time since I constantly study. And my studying is often distracted because I think about her. And I am searching but cant seem to find a good internship or hospital opportunity so Im gonna be doing nothing this summer. But she seems to be managing well. </p>
<p>And Ive tried changing. Ive tried stopped thinking about her but I just cant. Really, my workload is on the borderline between a lot and manageable so I end up wasting all my freetime every now and then while studying thinking about her. I tried finding some clubs to rechannel this waste of free time but nothing seems that interesting or it just seems like too much work on top of my classes. (I dont know whats the problem but nothing seemed that interesting but running club and that just seems lame and timeconsuming and I could just go to the gym whenever I wanted) Plus its already march and school ends in may and its probably too late. As for music, I auditioned to be a piano minor which I will begin next semester but I dont know how thatll go. Itll probably just be more classes I have to attend. As for parties and stuff, my floor never does anything but play computer games by themselves and the occasional nerdy board game or card game that Im not interested in. I tried going to the girl's floor but you know, theres not much I can do. I talked with some of them in the floor's lounge about random stuff and they often just talk about random stuff but thats as far as it goes. Im not even sure I want to go to these parties as it seems to be them just drinking and talking and thats just not my vibe.
So basically everythings falling apart. This girl has plenty of attention from other boys, shes doing well in school, part of clubs and activities, often uploads more pictures on facebook, and has a lot going for her this summer. I on the otherhand have none of this even though Im trying. I just go to class then go to my room to study. I am not a social person but I tried. I tried talking to people but I dont know what to say. I guess you could say I find the topics uninteresting or more likely I unconsciously keep thinking 'I need to study stop talking' even though I m trying to get rid of that.
I really dont know what to do anymore. I often get bored after long hours of studying. I tell myself if I can find something fun to do for even 15 minutes I can go back to studying again. But I end up walking around my floor and my dorm and cant find a single thing to do. My floor just plays these super nerdy computer games uninterested in. I myself have recently given up video games and find little interest in them. I end up wasting hours just walking around my dorm and the campus trying to find something to do. I guess you could say Ive lost my passion. I used to love running and I would run a lot and that would fill up time but now its not interesting as much anymore. Same thing goes for computer games and schoolwork. Sure, theyre still important but I want to find something else and then I can work on those.
I feel like Im trying too hard? like if we were meant to work it would have worked from the start? But then how come I have like no really close friends or experiences. </p>
<p>This girls got it all and she keeps drawing me back by the way she looks and talks to me. She has the biggest crush on me and if it wasnt for that, I would have given this all up a while ago.</p>
<p>Its also real hard to find other girls on campus. like I see some in class but thats it. And Im shy and not the best looking so itd be really weird if I just sat next to one and started talking. especially since its a class and the teachers teaching. this one girl came up to me first.
other than class, i dont really see much. and the girls in the dorm. well, its hard to find something to talk about. they take classes, watch youtube videos, and go to parties. thats about it. either im trying too hard or we just dont fit. I am super shy kid so that may be why Im having a hard time making friends with her and others</p>
<p>Uh you can’t possibly know that she’s “all that you wanted,” because you really know nothing about her. She could be a horrible person, she could even hate Jews. You’re just severely infatuated, you don’t like her. And you’re misreading the situation. Guarantee that she doesn’t like you the way you think she does. </p>
<p>Also, from what you’ve described, you’re flirting on the edge of being a creeper. Not a good look. Practical advice would be to stop being such a bitc* and realize that you’re still a freshman and there’s a world of possibilities before you. Also either unfriend her or hide her from your newsfeed. That Facebook sh** ruins people, you don’t need to know what she and her bf say to each other.</p>
<p>Have you ever had a girlfriend before? I think the problem is you’re too shy and not experienced with girls. </p>
<p>It doesn’t mean a girl likes you just because she looks at you or talks to you. From what you wrote I don’t see how she can have a crush on you. It seems like you guys aren’t even friends. And no offense but most of what you wrote doesn’t have anything to do with what you’re saying. Putting pictures on facebook or sitting together doesn’t mean anything. </p>
<p>Quick question… When you see her in school who’s the first one to say hey or anything? If it’s you then the next time you see her don’t do anything. See if she still says hey…</p>
<p>well orange peel imposter… I really don’t know what to say.
Sorry, but
COMPLETELY contradicts:
</p>
<p>Telling a someone halfway through the year suddenly out of the blue I don’t even know this guy that well we’re just “acquaintances” is the ULTIMATE SIGN to a guy to **** off, stop bothering me. Stop lying to yourself, it’s just a girl that you don’t know well.
What I would do from here is to somehow spread rumours about her boyfriend’s incontinence and infidelity and hope they make it to your future wife. If I were you, I might also somehow communicate to her the record-shattering enormity of your pipi.</p>
<p>well sometimes shed get really nervous around me and i can tell
and sometimes i dont say hi and she says hi back but sometimes she doesnt
and quite recently i walked past her and she called my name and started a conversation with me.</p>
<p>and she never said to my face that we’re acquaintnaces or any of that. but like we never hang out or anything like friends do. i just wouldnt know what to say</p>
<p>and no i have no girl or girlfriend experience</p>
<p>Just remember: if it’s electronic, it’s a tool. Furthermore, in real life, whether or not she has a boyfriend shouldn’t be the real question; the real question is whether or not you choose to respect the relationship that she has.</p>
<p>Man up and try doing some real things with her. Invite her out for coffee, etc. If she brings in her boyfriend, that’s a hint.</p>
<p>well, orange peel charlatan, you still have not reported to us clear signs that she likes you. and even if you did, like I said in your authentic orange peel thread, girls are fickle. there are a tonne of reasons why a girl would give what looks like a positive sign to a guy that strays from her true feelings. anyways, getting really nervous = not a definitive sign. saying hi to a friend = lol, what? that’s called politeness and being a friend. starting a conversation with a friend means she likes you … really …? many people have been down this one-sided argument, puppy-love blind, one-country viewed niagara falls path. open your mind before you stumble over your biases. don’t just look at the glass half-full, but half-empty as well.</p>
<p>since you want an end-all solution to this problem, I suggest you do what excelblue said. ASK HER IF SHE LIKES YOU! you’ve already conceded half-defeat and have supposedly been pwned. One slap in the face, or one hug in the balls, and your uneasiness will disappear like wildfire. I can tell what you’re feeling. the logic part of your brain has already determined that she doesn’t like you, but the “heart” part of your brain denies and vetoes this, and tries to interpret even the tiniest thing in your favour. because you’re contradicting yourself in favour of a false reality, you will fall not softly but HARD. whether your bruise will heal quickly or slowly is up to you. ask her if she’s lying to herself and completely contradicting human nature, as you claim she has the biggest crush on you yet has a different boyfriend. if she says yes, congrats, you win! but this will NOT happen. if she says no, congrats you still win for reaching closure!</p>
<p>Thats a great idea. Invite to eat with you in the dinning hall, or get some coffee! Its worked for me plenty of times, and has been my tool on speaking to many girls and making friends. It’s better to make yourself more known on campus, and if it makes u feel any better a close friend of mine lives on my floor and he’s fat and not the best looking guy lol but he knows how to get girls by they way he talks and socialize. Any1 can get a girl, it’s just they way you present yourself. Socialize is your key to meeting girls,and enjoying yourself. And to close up i think you should move on from this chick eventually. the reality is that she has a boyfriend…there plenty of fishes in the sea bro. You just need to set your hook right!( Corny lol, but true) Best of luck!</p>
<p>heres my logic: shes not gonna leave her boyfriend because of some brief conversations. and she cant text me first because of her boyfriend. maybe shes waiting for me to make a move?</p>
<p>Bingo! However, she will leave her boyfriend if she feels that you are the better choice. This can be in the form of nonverbal cues and actions that happen alongside brief conversations, hence, the importance of meeting in person.</p>
<p>As for texting you first: that’s not the real issue. If she wants to contact you first and can’t do that, she’ll find some other way. However…</p>
<p>It’s basically built into the female that men should make the first move. You aren’t going to get any girls if you can’t man up and make the first move. Some girls are willing to do it, but even those that are really prefer guys who make the first move.</p>
<p>Grow a set and ask her out for some coffee. No matter what happens after you say that simple sentence (“hurr coffee baby?”), you’ll benefit from it.</p>
<p>This is kind of adorable and cute (I’m a girl). I’m not convinced the girl likes you. Some girls are just like that. She probably got nervous when she found out you liked her because it made her uncomfortable. </p>
<p>This has happened before to me, I’m just naturally bubbly and a lot of guys automatically assume I’m flirting/interested in them, which is often inaccurate. And sometimes when those guys make a move/ask me out/make it clear they’re interested me, I become really shy and uncomfortable. Shyness doesn’t necessarily mean she’s interested, it could just mean she’s uncomfortable/isn’t sure how to respond/doesn’t have anything to say. Hate to say it… :/</p>
<p>Well what exactly would convince you that she liked me?
You guys are acting like she has to straight up say it to me for it to be the only way. sheesh. makes no sense</p>