<p>FWIW, like JHS, I knew people who used coke in undergrad and never used it after that. I don’t think coke use = addiction, but it does ramp up the concern factor for me, including legal ramifications.</p>
<p>be careful about comparing cocaine from the 80’s to cocaine of today. The chemical makeup has changed with additives to make it more “effective” and addictive. And dangerous in some instances.</p>
<p><a href=“http://facts.randomhistory.com/2009/07/09_cocaine.html[/url]”>http://facts.randomhistory.com/2009/07/09_cocaine.html</a></p>
<p>I think that some people do use cocaine on a recreational basis in college. But those people don’t show physical changes, as OP described her son. And they don’t need it so badly that they bring it home for the weekend. I sense a bigger problem.</p>
<p>One thing young people don’t realize is how dangerous the combination of cocaine and alcohol is. </p>
<p>[Warning</a> of extra heart dangers from mixing cocaine and alcohol | Society | The Observer](<a href=“http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/nov/08/cocaine-alcohol-mixture-health-risks]Warning”>Warning of extra heart dangers from mixing cocaine and alcohol | Drugs | The Guardian)</p>
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<p>Cocaine is bad news. If I had good reason to believe that either of my kids -even as adults- were using cocaine I could not sit by and wait to see if a problem developed.
If they are using, it’s a problem. </p>
<p>The tricky part of course, is getting the addict to admit to someone like his parents (or anyone who would cut off the drug) that he’s using, much less having a problem with it.
Expect denial and lying. You will need to use your sixth sense and knowledge about your own kid’s behavior- what’s normal and what’s not. Trust your gut.</p>
<p>I am curious what kind of surgeon you husband is, and if he has done emergency medicine. If he is a cardiac surgeon, his experiences may be part of his reaction. If he has been an ER doc, that is the other reason for his reactions.</p>
<p>My S has showed proof of his grades, so we know he is not lying about them. </p>
<p>And my husband is in fact a cardiac surgeon.</p>
<p>Thanks again everyone.</p>
<p>Then your husband has seen the devestaing effects of cocaine on the heart, even one use of a “bad batch” can really mess your heart up. And long term use leads to pretty significant cardiac problems too. So his hard line reaction is likely to make the biggest impact on your son that he can, and hopefully prevent him from going through that.</p>
<p>Drug counselor interview and drug testing should be considered as options here.
I am in favor of honesty in the name of love not anger.</p>
<p>“Like” button pushed for performersmom’s post!</p>
<p>My opinion…get some help for your son if you suspect this is an issue. If it’s really NOT an issue, it will ruffle some feathers but that will pass. If it IS an issue, you will kick yourself later on if you don’t intervene now.</p>
<p>This may seem like a silly question, but you don’t give him a $1000 in cash all at once do you? </p>
<p>How much cocaine was there? How big was the bag? </p>
<p>When parents find themselves questioning how their kids get it all done, then the kids are often doing too much. Cocaine or some other stimulant is often the answer to the question.</p>
<p>Your son is someone I would label as a “party scholar”. He’s balancing his social life and academics. </p>
<p>It’s ok to drink and it’s ok to smoke pot, but the coke has to go. I’ve seen too many of my friends get hooked on it and mess up their careers. It’s good to know that his academics are fine, this is just a minor setback in his life. Just get him drug counseling and help him break the habit. You will get through this.</p>
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<p>It’s not a silly question.</p>
<p>In my daughter’s last two years of college, when she was living off-campus, I would deposit a semester’s worth of money for rent, food, travel, books, and miscellaneous expenses/spending money in her checking account all at once, before the semester started. The total amount was considerably more than $1000. It was never a problem. </p>
<p>Some kids can handle this, and some parents (like me) are lazy enough to want to do it this way. I would not be surprised if the OP thought her kid could handle it, too.</p>
<p>But the OP said “cash.” I don’t call depositing money in an account as giving cash. Maybe it is just terminology.</p>
<p>If he hasn’t got another source of income I doubt $1000 is going to buy much in the way of drugs over the course of a semester. Enough to do some damage maybe, but not enough to supply a real addiction IMO.</p>
<p>No, but $1000 at once could buy enough to sell to end up with more than $1000. I’m not suggesting he’s dealing, but extra cash to someone using coke can be very tempting. That was why I asked how big the bag was.</p>
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<p>Same thing. My daughter’s bank has a branch within walking distance of her campus. Not just an ATM, a real branch with tellers. She could have withdrawn as much cash as she wanted from her account at any time.</p>
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Maybe. I doubt that to anybody involved in dealing significant amounts of drugs while supporting an actual habit $1000 is going to make much difference one way or another. People who make money selling drugs can easily have the drugs advanced (fronted) and then sell them. So whether the OP decides they want to continue giving this money or not, this $1000 did not facilitate the problem in a major way, and stopping will not make a dent in any real problem.</p>
<p>But don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t continue giving the money, if only out of principle.</p>
<p>This could just be college hijinks, or it could be a manifestation of some larger problem. Perhaps the S has problems with depression, or is troubled about his major, or his sexuality, or is masking some childhood abuse that the parents are unaware of, etc.</p>
<p>Are there any close friends who might have a better handle on how S is fairing at the college whom the OP could discretely inquire a la “S has been looking a bit pale and wan, but we don’t see him that much - how is he doing while at campus?”</p>
<p>It could also just be a way to get more hours our of the day. Then the marijuana and booze are needed to take the edge off. </p>
<p>The OP had more self restraint than I would have. Like it or not, I’m not sure a “what the hell is this stuff doing in your backpack” wouldn’t have found it’s way out.</p>