<p>I think it depends on his reasoning for wanting to go to the state school. Here in Illinois, many students from my kids school want to go to Univ of Illinois to keep the “partay” going and join a sorority. That to me is not a good reason to pick a school. However, if your S likes the school because of the academic reputation of a particular major or because he feels like it is a good fit, then money not being a huge issue, I’d let him pick.</p>
<p>I am so sick and tired or this attitude that the kids should be happy. I think the kids need to be appreciative. Parents are not required to cover a child’s college, although many of us do because we want to help them get a good start in life. I think kids need to stop being so spoiled and acting like parents owe them, because they don’t. If a kid insists on going to a school that is not affordable for parents then they should take care of it their selves. To expect that from parents, in my strong opinion, is completely disrespectful. I am very thankful that neither of my children have outrageous expectations of my husband and I and they take a lot of pride in trying to be as independent as possible. Maturity and character is what it is about.</p>
<p>My son, who is now 12 weeks into his first semester of college, decided at about week 6 that he didn’t want to major in the field that he’d been planning on majoring in for a year-and-a-half (maybe more). He dropped the intro course for that major and now has another field in mind (and may have a 3rd in another 6 months!).</p>
<p>So, I would proceed cautiously with picking a college based on what a 16-year-old wants to do with his life. It is fine to make sure there is a decent program in his chosen field, but I’d be more concerned with general fit, overall academic quality and affordability.</p>
<p>And, as other posters have cautioned, I’d be sure my son was going to qualify for aid that was going to get his COA for some other colleges below $20K per year before I’d scoff at paying that much for Purdue.</p>
<p>Hi Apollo! I too have a junior S who wants to study game design. He looked at RIT and decided he wanted to go there, doesn’t want to look anywhere else! So I know what you’re going through. They list merit aid on their website for various test scores/class rank. He has known for at least 5 years that this was his chosen career, so I am not worried about sending him to a specialized school. The only problem - he may not get accepted into that major, as they limit the number. I do like the fact that at RIT the game design major is in the school of Computing & Information Sciences. When we visited, the prof who spoke to the kids made it clear to them that they would not all get jobs in the gaming industry, but that they would be able to do IT type work, possibly computer security, etc. </p>
<p>I have been pushing him to research other schools. In addition to WPI and RPI, Michigan State has a game specialization (school of Digital Media Art & Technology), The College of New Jersey has an Interactive Multimedia major (in the school of Arts & Communication). DePaul in Chicago has a major in this area also, at their downtown campus. I want him to have knowledge of these places and a back-up plan, but ultimately the decision will be his. I understand what you are saying that Purdue may not be strong in his area, but if he gets a good education there, he should be fine. Good luck with your S.</p>
<p>*So, I would proceed cautiously with picking a college based on what a 16-year-old wants to do with his life. It is fine to make sure there is a decent program in his chosen field, but I’d be more concerned with general fit, overall academic quality and affordability.</p>
<p>And, as other posters have cautioned, I’d be sure my son was going to qualify for [merit] that was going to get his COA for some other colleges below $20K per year before I’d scoff at paying that much for Purdue. *</p>
<p>Yes, it can be amazing to see kids change majors that they were “certain” that they were going to pursue. Kids often only have a glimpse of a career that they think that they would want, but once they’re taking the actual classes, they change their minds. </p>
<p>If I had a dollar for everytime I heard a kid say that he/she was going to be a vet, only to have them change once they were in college, I could buy some nice vacation home :)</p>
<p>OP: I don’t think you can give your child $100,000 and ask him to go and study. College selection should be a guided process with the child on the driving seat with parent, school college counselor as driving aids. You need to steer the child through this difficult process. </p>
<p>If you think a college is a bad choice whether financial or other reason, you need to be upfront with the child and let him know that.</p>
<p>We were very cleared with our DD that we won’t be able to send her to Yale or U Penn for safety reasons after taking the college tour.</p>
<p>I know that New Haven and Philadelphia have reputations, but the areas around Yale and Penn are actually very safe, and their Clery reports are pretty clean. Very few incidents. They wouldn’t have the reputations they have if students were in mortal danger. That said, it is of course your choice.</p>
<p>I think a lot of students are not appreciative of the role their parents take in the process because that’s all they’ve known and they don’t know anything different. Neither of my parents went to college and my background is lower-middle-class; they didn’t have enough money to contribute to college (and since they didn’t go, they didn’t expect me to go, therefore they didn’t save anything up). I wish my parents had gotten as involved in the process as some of the CC parents are - helping me choose, taking me on tours, looking over characteristics with me.</p>
<p>I was almost completely on my own with this - my mom came to tour two colleges that she liked for me (Emory and Agnes Scott), but it was really up to me to decide where to go AND to figure out how I was going to pay for it. One of the reasons I turned down Emory over the school I did end up attending, Spelman, was because Spelman gave me a full scholarship and I couldn’t afford to pay for Emory on my own.</p>
<p>I think parents who are contributing money to their children’s education <em>should</em> have veto power - I mean, it is their money, and it’s a privilege to have your parents pay, not a right or entitlement. Everyone should be happy with the choice at the end of the day.</p>
<p>
We were under the same impression unless we visited the universities. New Haven town was scary and even the hotel staff warned us of not going left from the hotel which was just outside the Yale campus.
Similar experience at U Penn but to a lesser extent.</p>
<p>In the end it was a relative experience for us as we visited multiple campuses/cities.
DD fell in love with Cambridge, followed by Princeton, Providence, New York, Philadelphia and New Haven. She used this to redid her list of these colleges to (Harvard | MIT, Princeton, Yale, Columbia, U Penn, Brown). She ended up not applying to Yale, Columbia, U Penn, Brown.</p>
<p>I still say it is WELL worth spending two grand NOW for kid to see some other turf – it can be painful to start shelling out when you don’t even know if the kid will apply (much less be admitted) – I will cheerfully admit that an 18 year old has a very different value set. One of ours came home liking Lewis and Clark “because they have lots of girls and they serve ice cream at every meal.” Ah, to be an 18 year old male! Fortunately, that college has many good things to offer as well. </p>
<p>Also, it is well worth a day off school to actually go attend classes at Purdue. Perhaps a more in depth look at the favorite will cause some of the bloom to fade. Let him go be a sheeple in a class of 400 for a day. He’ll come home either more convinced or . . . open to some alternatives. </p>
<p>If this is your first kid going through the process, then it is also helpful to say “you are my learner child. I have never parented this stage before. I am likely to be too bossy with you and too lenient with the baby of the family. Meanwhile, it would be helpful if you work with me here and listen to my concerns. How we learn to navigate this is going to help all your siblings in the future.” This takes some of the heat out of the discussions. You might even hand him a twenty for his “first born misery bonus.” I can’t stress enough how a little open handedness on big decisions helps take the sting out of parental closemindness on other topics (as in, “No, you can NOT go to the boy/girl sleep over at Tony’s house.”)</p>
<p>Olymom – That is an unfair comment about Purdue and the kids who go there. Sure, there might be some large introductory classes, but the “sheepie” thing was out of line.
It’s a very good school.</p>