<p>I do not see where you would get merit aid that would allow you to pay so much less than your state university. With a 31, full rides would only come at schools pretty far down the food chain. Other fine schools would give you merit money, but probably only about 4,000 to 15,000 a year, – maybe a third of their cost or less.
Unless there are other state schools that are cheaper?
I am confused.</p>
<p>OP: slightly confused about the math–you say:<br>
“…he will get $8K off per year but it will still cost us at least 12K per year. I can tolerate paying 12K per year for State U but I do not think it is worth 20K+, …I am anticipating that we would end up paying $100,000 to send him to state U.” </p>
<p>Is that 12k for tuition or does that include room and board, etc.?</p>
<p>I think you have the “right” to decide how much you can spend on his education, but you shouldn’t force a school on him that he doesn’t want. </p>
<p>It’s unclear how old (soph? junior? senior?) your DS is and why he only wants to attend the State U and will not look anywhere else. Has he visited any other schools? Does he just want to go to school with his HS friends? Is there a GF involved?</p>
<p>If you think he is limiting himself maybe you should arrange a road trip–maybe include a friend that might be interested in a school other than State U. </p>
<p>Don’t push too hard, let him decide, but maybe you could tell him that you would feel better about his decision if he just opened himself up a bit to some other possibilities. Sometimes kids are influenced by their peers a bit too much and it sounds like you think this is the case in this situation. </p>
<p>It seems like you just want him to make the best choice for his future and maybe this is not what he is hearing or thinking about. </p>
<p>He should, in any case, be applying to more than just one school, so use that as a jumping off point for a deeper discussion of expectations, motives and outcomes.</p>
<p>I have appreciated reading everyone’s ideas about this topic. My primary concern is that my son, who is currently a junior (his ACT 31 was sophomore year -I’m sure it will be higher after 2 more years of math), is currently interested in studying computer game design. He thinks he wants to go to Purdue. I wouldn’t mind sending him to Purdue for engineering but the computer game design major is in a weaker school. It also does not appear to have connections to companies that could offer internships or jobs such as SMU or even Full Sail would. Inevitably the tuition, fees etc. will go up and by the time we pay for 4 years of mediocre education at Purdue, it would cost us $100K. I would rather he consider Rochester or Rensselaer or SMU or somewhere that I think would be a better investment in his education and future even if I ended up paying more. Lawrence Technical looks interesting and I think he could get free tuition there. We have a middle class income and 5 other children to put through college so money matters, but my main concern is that we not waste our money on a weak program. He is open to visiting other schools but it is a long drive or a flight for us. I think he should show some initiative by at least talking to college reps at a college fair. I just wish I could light a fire under him so he wouldn’t be a lemming. He is highly capable. I don’t want him to graduate from Purdue and come home and work at Best Buy as a computer tech.</p>
<p>It is hard to see how Rochester (whether RIT or U of R) or Renssalaer or SMU will be cheaper than a state school for an in-state student. Regarding the other place(s) you have mentioned, I think it’s important to keep in mind that a person with a degree from Purdue will always have that no matter what he majors in; a person with a degree from a lesser known school that specializes in computer design will not have the flexibility or the breadth of education (as well as the intangibles that come with that). I’d say specialty schools are good choices when they are really well known in their field or when the applicant is of limited and/or narrow ability so won’t need future flexibility and that doesn’t sound as though it is the case here.</p>
<p>Also, although I am not a technically oriented person I can imagine that a well-educated computer tech with the right kind of credentials could very well move on and up in a few years, maybe get an MBA if that’s where his interests lead him, and move into management if he wished, or move on to actual computer design and engineering if that was what he wanted. With the economy uncertain and the job market as awful as it is right now and possibly for a few years to come, I don’t think I would be disappointed if a computer-oriented son with a degree from Purdue got a job as a computer tech , since it would certainly beat being an unemployed or underemployed outside his field, which a lot of people are.</p>
<p>OP, you got some great advise but as a Rochester parent, I’d like to chime in. Yes you should visit Purdue with an open mind. But you should also plan a trip east. Maybe make it a compromise I’ll visit Purdue if you take this trip. I would definitely let him bring a friend if that can be arranged. Although I don’t know much about computer gaming Rochester, RIT, and RPI are great choices for schools with a techie/nerdy focus. Have you thought about Case Western? While I would go along on the road trip, I think you could give the boys some personal space. Let them have their own hotel room and don’t go on tours in the same tour group as them. This trip will do 2 things show your son (and his friend) some other options and give you a chance to see if these guys can focus on the purpose of the trip or if the are just in party mode 24/7. I’m assuming he would pick one of his friends that he wants to go to college with to go on the trip.</p>
<p>All that said these schools will probably be pricier than Purdue. Rochester costs about $50,000 per year. D got $10,000 per year in merit aid with an ACT of 32. We also looked at RIT and Case Western and I’d be willing to give you my thoughts on any or all 3.</p>
<p>While I don’t agree that an in state school is always the least expensive option (private schools often have far better aid - merit and need - than public schools can offer, especially now), I also think it’s somewhat ridiculous and selfish to think that parents should pick their kids’ school. Sure, you can put constraints on what you’re willing to pay, but at what point is your child’s life their own? Certainly it is within your control to steer and lead, but at some point you have to let them go to try their own wings. Paying for college is a gift we’ve given our kids. We have expectations in the way of grades, but I think if you force an 18 year old to bend to your will, what are you really teaching them? It would be my opinion that it means you don’t trust them or their judgement. And if you don’t trust them, why are you under the impression that they can handle the independence that comes with college? I would imagine that such a heavy hand will eventually back fire, if not immediately so. </p>
<p>If money is a serious concern, just put the money on the table as a finite amount and tell the student that whatever is over and above that amount will have to be financed on their dime.</p>
<p>Not to hijack the thread, but I’d like to comment on the wedding analogy. Please don’t spend less money on one child’s wedding than on another’s based on a prediction of its expected duration. You may be right, but you’ll still wound your child by calling into question her/his ability to make wise choices. And when your prediction comes true, it will feel to the child like a curse on your part. Also, you will deeply hurt her/him and by treating her/him differently than a sibling. No amount of justification by you will make it feel any less like favoritism. So many adults still carry around bitterness related to parental favoritism. Money is just money.</p>
<p>My parents did this and, and eventually learned that the son-in-law and marriage they thought was perfect was far from it, whereas the union they refused to subsidize is happy and going strong. The favoritism also trickled down another generation via the treatment of their grandchildren, and they were just as wrong about which set of grandkids would be the ones to make them proud. </p>
<p>That’s why when DH a few years ago implied he’d be less willing to spend the same amount of college money on one child than the other, I adamantly objected and told him it was impossible to predict success this far in advance with humans who are still changing and developing. I was correct, and the child H thought had less ambition and academic potential, will likely equal or even surpass the other. DON’T DO IT!</p>
<p>I do not see how anybody could advise on this. Each family should decide whatever they feel appropriate. Everybody’s circumstances are different, how one family decision could apply to another is not clear to me at all. I would say write down options and list possible outcomes of each decision and then decide which path you want to take. It is a personal preference.</p>
<p>I did the same as Bay. There were some colleges I made it clear were No-No, that I would not pay for them or even for the application. Also, S needed to apply to State U’s so that we had a fall back and could evaluate considering all things. Beyond that, we came up with an acceptable list of OOS and private colleges he could apply for. However, he was told he could choose from that list as there was no point in applying to all schools in the list. When he realized that it was almost $100 per application (fees, scores, mailing etc.) plus some effort on essays etc., he himself pruned down the list even further.</p>
<p>Purdue is an excellent school. Even with a degree from a “weaker” department, he will be very well prepared.<br>
Are you afraid he is just going to party?</p>
<p>I think there is a difference between choosing your child’s college and having veto power over a child’s choice. I would never force my kid to go to a school he did not want to attend just because it was cheaper, or more prestigious, etc. I also think that an 18-year-old should be involved in making significant life choices that primarily affect him. On the other hand, I don’t think that any kid has a moral right to spend 200K of the parents’ money entirely as he sees fit, in all his infinite 18-year-old wisdom. Even if the student is willing to take on personal debt to cover the difference between what the parents will pay and what the cost of the chosen school is, I would worry that he does not really understand the commitment of debt and how it will affect his life for the next several decades.</p>
<p>“Picking a school just because his HS friends are going there is not a good reason to pick a school. Most or all of those friends will likely move past each other by the end of the first semester.”</p>
<p>This is precisely why parents should take a proactive role. </p>
<p>“Bottom line - he needs to have a dog in this fight to be successful and that includes having a reasonable say for the right reasons in his college selection” </p>
<p>I would say this is the smartest thing I’ve read on CC today. I’d recommend a college road trip which will gave lots of time for conversations, and open the horizons for your son.</p>
<p>It also does not seem unreasonable to me for parents to ask their college bound children to do their best to minimize the costs of college for the family. Applying for schools with good financial aid packages and merit scholarships, applying for scholarships, working to save money for school expenses–I don’t think we ask too much if we ask for this. Unless there is a really compelling reason for the parent to pay more to send the child to college–and I really don’t think “my friends are going there” is a good enough reason!</p>
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<p>Ok, I agree. No parent should say to one child, “I’ll pay for the big shindig, because we think your marriage will last,” and tell another child, “We’ll pay for a ticket to Vegas because this marriage is a gamble.” That would be a problem. But, I can also see a problem with taking out a big loan for such a wedding knowing that the marriage will likely end before the thank-you notes get sent. (yes, that’s what my neighbor faced!) </p>
<p>And, I completely agree that parents should never say, “I’ll pay $50k COA for our brainy child, but our B student child is getting funded for local public state.”</p>
<p>I think it’s just safe to take a formula approach…</p>
<p>Tell your child how much you can contribute each year - especially if it’s less than your EFC.</p>
<p>Have your child apply to a variety of schools, some reaches, some matches, and some financial safeties that are good schools academically with attractive facilities and activities. </p>
<p>Visit them all (or as many as you can), </p>
<p>Wait for packages to come, and then let the chips fall where they may.</p>
<p>Often by spring, this emotional rush that is going on now fades.</p>
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<p>Someone correct me if I’m wrong…these schools, SMU and Full Sail are polar opposites. SMU is a full university. Full Sail, last I heard, was not a bachelors program that is recognized by any other schools…(I believe there was a student who posted somewhere on this forum regarding recording engineering or something…and he wanted to either transfer or apply to grad school…his Full Sail courses were not recognized as a bachelors program…maybe I’m making this up…someone else will have to verify).</p>
<p>Purdue has an outstanding engineering program. The school is not a shabby place from which to get a degree in any field (even non-engineering fields). I’m not sure why you would be pushing this kid in the direction of SMU or Full Sail. Personally, I think Purdue is a better school…but that is my opinion.</p>
<p>Re: this kiddo’s major…that could very well morph into something else. At the more technical schools being suggested (RPI for example) if your kiddo decides to switch to a less technical field, he will also be switching schools. If he’s at a place like Purdue, he will be able to switch into any number of other disciplines.</p>
<p>Your money, your choice. Child can take it or leave it. Now, you might conclude that the money will be best used at a school where the child has input (we did). But the child has to understand that that decision is a matter of grace, not right.</p>
<p>I don’t see how Purdue would cost 100k for 4 years. Maybe if it takes 5 years it might be close to that. I’ve got a friend at Purdue and it’s $17k a year with room & board & meal plan.</p>
<p>If I pay for her wedding, can I decide who she marries???
( Maybe if the wedding costs as much as college…)</p>
<p>^^^
In some cases, weddings do! LOL</p>
<p>Purdue…COa…Two Semesters:
Full-Time Enrollment </p>
<p>Indiana Resident </p>
<p>Estimated Fees and Tuition… $8,638 *</p>
<p>Room and Board Allowance… $8,710</p>
<p>Transportation Allowance… $310</p>
<p>Personal and Miscellaneous Allowance… $1,760</p>
<p>Book/Supplies Allowance… $1,220</p>
<p>TOTAL …$20,638</p>
<p>For this year, the cost is about $21k, </p>
<p>For each future year, the costs will go up, so the total cost will likely be about $90k</p>