<p>I do want to point out that you posted in the Parent’s Forum of CC looking for parents to take your side against an anxious-about-college parent…what do you think most of us are?</p>
<p>Good luck :)</p>
<p>For me personally, I finished undergrad, started grad school (and dropped out when my son was born), went back to school for a 2nd undergrad, then went back to grad school, then sent my son off to school. I THOROUGHLY understand the admissions process, requirements, stress… I’ve completed the FAFSA almost every year for over 20 years. To say “Some parents on here are just so out of sync with how everything works today,” isn’t necessarily the case. Many of us have been there, done that, and come with a great deal of expertise. I could say that many of the kids on here who haven’t gone through this process yet are displaying their developing maturity.</p>
<p>I know when my son was applying to schools and dealing with the financial aid process and applying for scholarships, the thought that kept going through my mind was what if I had a heart attack tonight and didn’t make it until tomorrow, is he in a position to succeed? Both my grandfather and one of my uncles passed away when they were younger than I am today, so while I like to think it’s unrealistic, it’s not an impossibility. It was important…critical for me to make sure that my son was on a path to achieve success so that no matter what may have happened, that he would be able to continue on towards that goal. </p>
<p>As a perfectionist who is a former procrastinator who has a son who is a procrastinator, I have to say that the mom of a 17-19 year old that nags has probably learned from years of experience that it might be necessary. It would be sad for any student who did wait until the last minute and then due to a power outage, or a medical emergency, or a house fire, or a car accident, or a death in the family, or… wound up missing deadlines. Perhaps us parents that have seen A LOT more of life know that you ALWAYS have to anticipate that the best laid plans…</p>
<p>Wcclirl444, I wouldn’t be too harsh on us parents. It’s difficult for many of us as parents to transition from controlling everything our children do to handing that control over to our children, step-by-step, as they grow into full adults. Some parents never make that transition – my father, in his 80’s, would still tell me I was an idiot if I didn’t do everything in the exact way he would do it. :)</p>
<p>OP - do you have any apps submitted already?</p>
<p>You should just get one submitted . . . and then do another - before you get back on CC.</p>
<p>LoremIpsum, I’m not being harsh at <em>my</em> parents. I’m being harsh to those of you on here who are here for no other reason than to either put me (and others in my situation) down or to brag about how your perfect child would never do such a thing. </p>
<p>“But this thread was instead initiated to get someone to say, it’s OK to procrastinate, even if you wait until the last minute, everything will be OK, and just ignore your annoying mom” Stop trying to draw unsubstantiated and blatantly wrong conclusions as to why I started this thread. Asking about applications EVERY DAY when I am working on them (or school) 24/7 solves NOTHING. And before I have some person point out that posting this isn’t school or application related in an attempt to try to make themselves look cute or clever, I feel like I should tell you that I am posting this during class. I can teach myself that material that the teacher covers for 60 minutes in less than 2, so I’m not pushing this off.</p>
<p>Whoever mentioned age, don’t even begin to start with the whole age thing. Age ≠ intelligence. I know many stupid adults and many brilliant kids.</p>
<p>wcclirl444, I hope you did get some useful suggestions here, whether they included making a list/letting her help, putting her on taxes for FA, putting pen to paper to make a roughest of rough rafts, or whatever.</p>
<p>It’d be nice to hear what helped the situation, if anything did.</p>
<p>
There is a lot of time between “the last minute” and nagging your child well over a month before essays/applications are due.</p>
<p>True story of procrastination:</p>
<p>Friend’s son declined to start working on essays or applications during the summer or early fall. Then came Hurricane Sandy with close to a week of power outages, and then came pneumonia. He missed the early action dates for state schools, thus, no consideration for scholarships. He was unable to get real help from his English teacher with an essay because at the time, early in the fall, that the teacher assigned “Complete a College Essay” he hadn’t looked at any of the required essays for his college applications and just made up a topic that may or may not be useful. At the moment, he has completed one application, the one to his dream/reachy/expensive school. You had better believe there is some nagging going on right now in that home.</p>
<p>The reason we parents nag and repeatedly ask about progress is because we have been around longer than our kids, and have learned more about all the ways things can go wrong.</p>
<p>For every example of someone who “blew it” because of their procrastination (or an unexpected emergency), there are untold stories of kids who did their best work right before a deadline. In any case, aren’t we trying to teach our kids the importance of consequences?</p>
<p>This whole discussion really boils down to risk assessment. People have varying levels of comfort with uncertainty. This is why we have an insurance industry…and gambling.</p>
<p>Yes, and for all the backing and forthing on the subject, no one has improved much on sally305’s early suggestion of making a spreadsheet of due dates and sharing the plan of action with mom. Leaving a little wiggle room in case of of computer failure or other catastrophic events certainly makes sense.</p>
<p>I want sally305 to be my mother. I would raise the “begone” hand to some others on this thread. Sorry; I can’t remember the poster who shared the tidbit about his or her child’s “back off” signal. When I’m pushing too hard, my daughter just says, “I love you, mommy” in as condescending a tone as she can muster.</p>
<p>To the OP, While I fully agree with those who counsel not waiting til the last minute (make your own ‘deadlines’ a few days before the real ones, if possible, it will truly save you stress)–otherwise, I think the naggers are by and large selling their kids short. That, or they plan to continue nagging them while they are at college, and beyond! Kids have to learn to handle their affairs some time. Senior year is a good time to start, if you haven’t started letting go a little yet. </p>
<p>-former helicopter who learned better</p>
<p>Some different advice about essays. My daughter, an excellent student like you, had an amazingly interesting and complex story to tell which was obviously going to be the subject of her essays. She worked on it for days and when we both read it, it sounded so labored and heavy handed. She just decided to scrap it and tell very small portion of the story with her usual wit. It came out perfect: brief and funny leaving the audience wanting more. It was about 2 paragraphs about a topic one could write a book about. All of the great colleges she got into, with the exception of one, mentioned her writing. My advice to you is to think of something that really means something to you no matter how trivial. Don’t try to explain your entire world view; it’s too much. Once the topic forms, it’s so much easier, as you probably know. Good luck!</p>
<p>If you ever write/edit essays with anyone outside of your family. Work there, that way your mom will know you are trying to get your stuff done, and that way you actually DO GET STUFF DONE. Starbucks is an awful place to try and write college essays, especially if you’re trying to get into great schools (which it sounds like you are).</p>
<p>My mom is exactly like yours, just stop talking. One day she’ll say, “What’s wrong?” Say, “Nothing. I am trying very hard to get this stuff done because I am trying to get into college.” She’ll back off, and forgive you because she knows you’re stressed.</p>
<p>We sound exactly the same haha, except for what you said about Starbucks… It might not work for you, but it’s my go to spot whenever I need to go into “lockdown” to get work done. I can’t walk downstairs or go outside to talk the dog when I’m here. About to get started writing, so I won’t be back on the thread until tomorrow, but I feel like everything that could have been said already hasgood or bad, helpful or not.</p>
<p>A month may seem like a long time, but you should keep in mind that it might be difficult to find people you trust to read and comment on your essays during the holidays. What if you decide that you want your teachers to read and comment on essays? Or your friends? Right now, you may think that you won’t want anyone to read them, but what if you write two different essays for the common app and you can’t decide which one you like best? Wouldn’t it be nice to have people around who can comment on them and tell you which one they like best? After about the middle of December, it is hard to get people’s time and attention. </p>
<p>What was your Ted talk about? Couldn’t you start with that and see if you can make it into an essay? </p>
<p>One thing that you may find disappointing after all of this agonizing is that 500 words is ONE PAGE (single spaced). When you start writing and you see how little you can say in one page, you will realize that you wasted a lot of time agonizing that could have been better spent on more important things – like taking a nice walk or looking up at the stars. </p>
<p>Many of the “essays” that have to be written on the college apps have such strict word or character limits that limit responses to about a paragraph, and most of the questions that are asked are relatively simple. Why not just answer those?</p>
<p>It sounds like you have a lot of accomplishments that speak for themselves. Perhaps your approach on the most of the “essays” – i.e., questions that call for a paragraph-long responses – should be to answer the questions in a sincere, straightforward way.</p>
<p>I don’t mean this as criticism, but for someone who is able to learn the material in an hour’s lecture in two minutes, you really should be able to write a one-page essay in about an hour. Don’t try to dazzle; just tell a story about yourself or answer the prompts. Think about it like this – the parts of your personality that may not be apparent from the rest of your application (Ted Talks! New Apps! Saving the world!) may be kindness and humility, and the ability to quietly reflect. Perhaps if you view the essay as a chance to show off the quieter parts of your personality, that would take some of the pressure off and result in a more effective essay.</p>
<p>Finally, as a mother, I would encourage you to consider your mom’s stress in deciding whether to wait until the very last minute. It sounds like you could relieve some of her anxiety by pounding out a quick draft. Why not do that for your mom? Maybe it is stupid of her to make idiotic demands on you, but if it would help to make her feel a bit better just to write a page, why not do it? Even if there is no reason whatsoever to write one word of any essay before December 31, why not do it now anyway, just to be nice to your mom?</p>
<p>Keep up the good work, wcc! Now off to work on my own apps (grumble, grumble) lol.</p>
<p>Congratulations wcc! Knew you could/would do it!</p>
<p>Thanks everyone so much. Here are some of my biggest takeaways:</p>
<p>1) Creating a Google doc spreadsheet with deadlines & progress to share with parents (keeps me organized & them in the loop)</p>
<p>2) Getting my mom to start filling out the financial aid stuff in order to give her a taste of what college apps are like (buhahahahaha)</p>
<p>3) Just get something down. Working off of something on paper (even if it’s bad) is much easier than trying to come up with the perfect essay the first time.</p>
<p>4) Even if I fail in life and don’t get into any of the colleges I want to, I can still lurk on CC and torment teenagers in order to make myself feel better</p>