<p>Most of the issues regarding consent in colleges involve alcohol. It’s really a different situation.</p>
<p>@neatoburrito, you mean issues related to lack of consent involve alcohol?</p>
<p>@neatoburrito you should looked up the cases at Swarthmore. Many did not have anything to do with alcohol. In one instance the woman felt she consented the first time and the third time but it was the second time she felt there was no consent. </p>
<p>Sexual assault is appalling in all forms, and boarding school kids are well educated in their health classes on consent/rape laws, etc.–probably better educated than their public school counterparts as the school doesn’t have to cater to the whims of parents. In my experience as a b.s. parent, schools deal promptly and decisively with sexual harassment/lack of consent cases. I just don’t see the correlation to grinding at dances. In fact, IMO, a good way to get kids to act out sexually, is to get really controlling about stuff like how they dance. Or the non-character building music the listen to at those dances. </p>
<p>This conversation takes me back to my homeschooling days and online discussions of how to deal with (horrors!) nudity in art. The solutions were hysterically funny. One parent would draw clothes on the naked figures. Another just cut the offending pictures out of the book. But my favorite was the well-meaning Mama who (probably because she wanted to resell the book) put post-it notes over the “private parts.” Way to turn the Birth of Venus into a peep show! 
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<p>^^^No, just no. Tell me this didn’t really happen. CM, your story just made my head explode.</p>
<p>We took a field trip to a big concert in fifth grade with nude statues. I had this habit of always looking over my left shoulder… and guess where the naked guy was. :p</p>
<p>At least the one roaming Munger Meadow at Wellesley College had the decency to put on undies!</p>
<p>Again I am sorry but art is different. I doubt many would compare the naked bodies in pornographic movies to Michelangelo’s David. </p>
<p>I know, I’m just playing. :p</p>
<p>Ha HA We know that you are always playing. Your avatar really brings that part out. You must have a very sweet side.</p>
<p>So wait, @grx567, just to be clear: you’re suggesting that there is a connection between grinding at dances and sexual assault or, at least, sexual promiscuity? And that forbidding grinding at dances will build character?</p>
<p>I think you are making the connection that was not stated. I think that sexual promiscuity exists whether or not the suggestive dancing occurs. I was referring to the idea that BS try to develop and mold the character of their young charges. Teaching respect for oneself and others does not mean that rules should try to make students uptight and straight laced. I believe the issue is one of decency. I am sure that despite prohibitions against drugs and alcohol, students even BS students will use them. I meant that given the fact that BS students are much younger I wondered why there have not been as many scandals.</p>
<p>I think it’s because they’re kept so darn busy. Mandatory sports, rigorous classes, tons of homework, lots of interesting ec’s, intelligent, involved faculty and school leaders develop character and respect, and keep them too tired to get into as much trouble as the average teenager. Not to mention dorm check-ins and the various prohibitions within particular schools against everyday things like driving with other students; the rules and permissions needed to leave school grounds, the rules about how and when and girl can visit a boy’s room and vice-versa…</p>
<p>Given all of the stuff they have to do to be a part of a boarding school community, stuff that is is above and beyond what any day student has to do, I can’t see how their character will be further strengthened by walking on the paths a certain way or dancing “appropriately.” In fact, I think legislating their free time in that way can create kids who will go too far over the edge once they have some freedom, either at home or in college. </p>
<p>I think we have to remember that whilst BS students and parents face similar issues, these schools are not necessarily alike in the on the ground details. Further, what one parent may “know” is mostly about the one or two schools that that parent’s children attend. There are wide divergences of policy and culture even between schools that otherwise appear quite similar statistically.</p>
<p>“There are wide divergences of policy and culture even between schools that otherwise appear quite similar statistically.”</p>
<p>And wide divergences of individual student experiences at each school, as well. What your son or daughter is telling you about the culture of their school may very much speak to the lens through which they are experiencing it. </p>
<p>Exactly so. To hear the recollections of alumni from the same class, you’d wonder if they were all at different schools. These boarding schools are something like the story of the elephant and the blind people. There are many parts students, faculty, admin, parents, alumni - and individual experiences amongst those as you say. None of us can really understand the entirety.</p>
<p>@Agincourt I like you analogy because it is very true that everyone’s experience is colored by their own outlook. The rules do differ. I know of one school where the sex was neither condoned not punished. What bothers me is when a school will expel students if they are caught but still allow parietals and closed door visits. Isn’t this kind of a wink and a nod but don’t get caught kind of approach?</p>
<p>Can someone post the libk to the original article in the Phillipian? Thanks</p>
<p>@Cariar Which article? I posted one on p2</p>
<p>@skieurope I think he means the article in the Phillipian about the scholarship kids and how they had a hard time adjusting. I know I read it on the thread about Andover being Need Blind.</p>
<p>If that’s the case, then this is the link:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.phillipian.net/articles/2014/01/30/price-andover-education-three-students-difficult-transitions-andover”>http://www.phillipian.net/articles/2014/01/30/price-andover-education-three-students-difficult-transitions-andover</a></p>