Didn’t say it was (okay, that is). Just pointing out that this is not even remotely new, so the whole “Kids these days!” (well, and also “Parents these days!”) tone of a lot of this thread is misplaced.
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Parents have always reached out to professors. What is new, is parents expecting an answer. Preferably by end of day. With a solution (often to a problem which is completely out of the professor’s realm). And then escalating to a Dean if they don’t get “satisfaction”.
I don’t know about that. I never did. I don’t think my kid would want me involved. I didn’t do it when he was in high school, either.
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It’s never been all, or even most, parents. Just “those” parents who severely helicoptered their children, and yes, it goes back for eons.
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Guilty admission: I had a HORRIBLE professor for engineering honors physics at UT. He was just so bad. You could tell he had no interest in teaching freshmen. I was really frustrated. I told my dad, an engineering professor, and we went to speak to the chair of the physics department. That guy basically told me to suck it up. Oh, well. I made a C one semester and a B the next, but I ended up graduating with high honors so it worked out OK.
I went above a professor’s head once. My daughter was 14, and in an in-person dual enrollment class at a college. Her teacher gave her the wrong grade at the end of the semester- a straight up typo wrong grade that tanked her perfect gpa by mixing in a C. My daughter emailed her teacher, she called and left messages… the teacher basically told her it wasn’t a big deal and to just roll with it. My daughter had plans to apply to big colleges and also was on an academic scholarship for high school, so that was a completely unacceptable answer. After about three weeks of her trying to get the teacher to fix it, I asked her for a screen shot of all her grades in the class and a copy of the syllabus and I went to the Dean and told them what happened. The 71 was changed to a 99 (which was what she earned) within 24 hours. That was my one and only interaction and I would definitely do it again if I could go back.
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This mindset in an educator blows my mind. In the high school where I work the schedule had it such that I sat with the English teachers for lunch one day instead of my usual math/science folks. One, relatively new, teacher spent the time complaining how a student came to her about a grade having looked up more info on the internet proving her (the student’s) answer in a paper was correct. The teacher was livid that a student would have the gall to correct her, the teacher, after all, even if she was wrong, what difference did a grade make? She despised the students who wanted to be straight A students saying they would never get anywhere in life and no one even liked them. She was pissed that the student got guidance involved. I believe she had to change the grade. I have no idea if parents were involved as well or not.
Regardless, I had no idea such a mindset existed, TBH. In science/math we love our straight A students and would have apologized profusely if we had made a mistake - then congratulated the student for going further to get evidence online. I know we’re in agreement because guess what we discussed the next day at lunch… and, we’re not perfect, sometimes we make mistakes grading so we’ve BTDT.
To me, teachers like that English teacher have no place in any education, public or otherwise.
I’ll also add that the head of the English department wasn’t there that day for lunch, but I told her about the conversation later. She was disgusted too, telling me, “I was a straight A student!” I have no idea what happened after that, but last I knew, the teacher was still teaching.
ETA: The head of the English department told me she didn’t want to hire that teacher due to poor grades in college, but got overruled by others on the committee.
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For your 14 year old kid, this is completely legitimate and I would have done the same.
As a professor, I would have been on this immediately the minute a student contacted me, complete with profuse apologies for causing distress.
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One of my kids’ driver’s ed teacher was a (very old) piece of work. He would give the kids the test BEFORE going over the material and mark several right answers wrong. I even took the test to the police (I work upstairs) to make sure the kids’ answers were right. The teacher would not ever change the grade. He said he was “teaching them to live in the real world.” Not one student got an A in driver’s ed that year. I’m not sure if he’s still there. My next kid fortunately had someone else.
Edit: That was also the year that admin screwed up (what a surprise! they earn their D niche grade) and didn’t allow his group to have enough class days to satisfy the law unless they made every single class. Technically, you could miss 2 days, but the teacher missed two and those counted against everyone. If the material was not taught, it didn’t count. if you missed for a legit reason, it did not matter. Lots of kids failed that class and had to take it through DMV later.
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Life can be so frustrating sometimes. Where do they find these people? And why do we think they can educate our offspring?
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After reading through these posts and actually discussing this with my Mom I think a lot of the differences might come from all of our own family upbringing. Even back to how our parents were raised.
My Dad was the oldest of 7 kids. As you can imagine there was a huge amount of independence. I doubt my Grandparents knew where all the kids were all of the time. My Mom on the other hand had older parents that were not involved in her life. Mom told me my Grandma never went to see her cheer for the year she was a cheerleader.
As you probably can imagine my brother and I were raised with a decent amount of independence. My parents were involved in my school and sports, but there was just a sense that if you can do it yourself then do it.
My wife was raised the same way. We met at what people would now call a top 20 school. We joke that we found the poorest person at the school to spend the rest of our lives together.
So I guess things I did for myself while in college I guess I expect my kids to do the same and wander why others can’t as well.
Was it due to a general shortage of English teachers in your area, or because that particular applicant was favored for some other reason?
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Maybe his idea of “real world” is that the “real world” is not fair or consistent. Unfortunately, he is often right about that, although adding additional unfairness in school (as opposed to telling students to be aware of it) may not be the best way to do it.
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Other reasons
This happened to My S. I had to get one of the vice principals involved and the teacher was still arguing against changing the grade. He kept saying that it doesn’t matter as long as he is passing.
I only got involved after S was unsuccessful with the teacher and I only got the VP involved after the teacher ignored my email for a week.
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As a professor in an English Department, I have to admit that rueful laughter was my reaction to this line.
(For those not tuned in to the academic job market, there is a severe oversupply of PhDs in English* compared to the availability of jobs for them.)
* With exceptions for a very few specific subfields, of course.
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I agree in that mistakes are more costly. If your kid doesn’t understand how the advising and registration game can cost thousands of dollars if mishandled, well, nobody wants to pay that or increase their child’s debt. Let’s face it; it is much easier to manipulate an 18-year-old than a 50-year-old. I’m not interested in talking to the advisor or being present for any of it. But I do want to advise my kids in advance to describe consequences that they are likely unaware of.
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Waaay to much parental involvement. Just jump on a parent Facebook group for any college and you’ll see the ultimate in helicopter parenting. I saw a post where a mom, who still called their student “my baby”, said she left a handbook on how to do everyday things, like how to change a shower curtain. Crazy. Let them go, people!
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Though I would suggest that that’s a bit of sampling bias—the parents who are most likely to be on those groups (or other college-related social media sites ahemsuch as College Confidentialahem) and post stuff about their children there are precisely the ones who are more likely to be highly involved in their children’s colleges choices and experiences.
Knowing whether this is truly widespread would have to include all the parents who don’t go to those sites and post.
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This, exactly. My parents drove me to college 30 years ago and helped me unpack and get settled in, took me to open a local checking account, etc. Then we went out to dinner and saw a bit of the campus before they left a day or so later.
But they didn’t contact my professors or have any involvement in registration or classes or anything else regarding school – that was up to me.
I imagine my husband and I will do the same with our oldest next year. And, as we’ll have two 15-year-olds at home, it will depend how far we’re going and how long we’ll be gone as to whether they’ll have to come along or not. (Possibly it will be after they’ve started school, in which case we’ll have to figure something out.)
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