<p>We're all on this board because we care about our kids. However, if your kid is 18 when he goes to college, he should be grateful you're willing to pay anything at all. Parents are not obligated to pay for college, but it is quite nice when we can afford it.</p>
<p>Twenty years ago, my parents set limits: We'll pay for you to go to a CSU or UC--anything you can get yourself into. Anything else, you're on your own. </p>
<p>The boundaries gave me a wide variety of colleges to choose from, including elite schools (although the Ivie's and LAC's were not part of the list).</p>
<p>One thing I wished my parents made me do my first year--get a job and pay at least part of the tuition. You make more of an effort going to each class when you realize you're wasting $30+ per hour you ditch--especially when you only make $6.50 per hour at the local burger joint to pay for it.</p>
<p>This is an interesting thread. What do y'all think of this?</p>
<p>This past summer H & I took rising senior S to Quite-Expensive-Compared-To-State-School University (30K/year) for interview & tour. Our terrific tour guide had just graduated with a major in Poly Sci, but intended to spend another year studying science in order to apply to medical school. I could see S salivating at the list of courses she'd taken, all of which sounded immensely fun. When the tour was over, I commented privately to H: "Four years and $120K and she's not even ready for medical school!" H, on the other hand, thought it seemed as though she had received a great education, enjoyed herself, broadened her horizons, and decided what she wanted to do. He was totally okay with it, and, in fact, it vastly increased Q-E-C-T-S-S Univ. in his opinion. (S has minimal if any clue what he wants to do with his life.)</p>
<p>Helimom--I think you shouldn't assume that she couldn't have been ready for med sachool after four years. The standard pre-med classes do not leave out the possibility of majoring in anything, including Poli Sci, at the same time. Many, many students major in things as disparate as philosophy, music, English etc. while getting ready for med school,and graduate in four years. However, the student has to be planning for that from the beginning, or soon after. Some students decide later on that they want to go to med school, which is why many schools offer post-bac pre-med programs. So, this student's experience is much more likely a product of her choices rather than the school's lack of appropriate prep fo her.</p>
<p>This thread has headed in many different directions since the original post, but all very helpful--
Like many parents we will be paying for undergrad education, but grad school will be up to them. When it comes from grad school leading to jobs in the humanities, law, etc. do employers heavily favor 'name' school graduates over those from state programs? A broad question and off the orig topic, I know, but after reading these posts am curious...</p>
<p>"When it comes from grad school leading to jobs in the humanities, law, etc. do employers heavily favor 'name' school graduates over those from state programs"</p>
<p>It depends on where you live. I think that in large, Northeastern cities, employers prefer NE name schools.</p>
<p>In other parts of the country, however, going to the flagship state u or the local university in the community of the employer will boost one into good jobs far more than having gone to a distant, excellent grad school. Depending on where one wants to work, local contacts can be extremely important. It's certainly the case where I live.</p>
<p>the parents should be influencial in their children's decision of schools, but shouldn't make the ultimate decision for them. if the child makes a decision in going to that school and the parents don't want their child to go there, then the parent should point out the reasons that they dont want the child to go there. teenagers are open minded. theyre young and many of them dont really have set goals. after one semester of thinking about being an engineer, they might decide to declare a major in the arts the next semester. during this crucial time, the transition from high school to college, is a big step for most college freshmen. its like starting kindergarden or first grade all over again. the parent should be there for the children emotionally and financially. if you want your child to go to a school of your choice, then tell them what you think about his or her future. you should never command then him or her to go to that particular school.</p>
<p>I think there is a big difference if you say, "You have to go to ABC school", compared with saying "You can go to many schools, but I won't pay for XYZ school. The value isn't there", or "the atmosphere isn't conducive to learning, the area isn't safe, it's too far away, you're a male and it's an all girl school", etc.</p>
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<p>I think there is a big difference if you say, "You have to go to ABC school", compared with saying "You can go to many schools, but I won't pay for XYZ school. The value isn't there", or "the atmosphere isn't conducive to learning, the area isn't safe, it's too far away, you're a male and it's an all girl school", etc. <<<</p>
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<p>I completely agree. As another post said, parents should be influential and can set some reasonable parameters if they are paying, but not make the ultimate choice.</p>
<p>"The value isn't there.." is so often true, yet the child may not see it because he/she is mesmerized by the idea of going very far away when an equal or near equal value is within a more reasonable distance.</p>
<p>For instance, a friend's d (who wants to be a elem teacher) wanted to go OOS to a Cal State, which meant hefty OOS tuition, even though the in-state flag-ship school is much higher ranked, much nicer, much cheaper, and has a better elem ed program. The d was mesmerized with the idea of going to school in California, and was unreasonable about her demand. Her parents had to put their foot down. They weren't going to unnecesarily pay extra money for an inferior situation.</p>
<p>"The value isn't there.." is so often true, yet the child may not see it because he/she is mesmerized by the idea of going very far away when an equal or near equal value is within a more reasonable distance."</p>
<p>I think the kids actually don't understand value (many adults don't either). They didn't make the money so they don't understand money. </p>
<p>The kids also don't understand that although they may value bikinis, beaches, cities, clubbing, and parties, their parents might believe these activities; although valuable, may not be worth ....that much. :)</p>
<p>You should let your kids know up front what you will and will not pay for and why. You should get their input--but you hold the purse strings. I am, however, a strong believer in "fit" versus pure prestige. Ideally, if money is not very tight, you want the overall best learning experience for your child. I would give advice on prospective majors but not try to dictate academic interests to your child Any serious study can be turned to some account in the world of work--even if all are not equally lucrative.</p>
<p>What about specific majors, not schools? My parents were willing to pay full tuition at USC to attend architecture school there.... but unwilling to shell out one penny for me to go to art school, even at a major university. Now that I've graduated, I'm looking to go to grad school for art on my own $$. Is this the way you would have wanted the situation to work out? Or do you think parents should give their kids no restrictions when it comes to major?</p>
<p>Parents have a right to choose how they will spend their money. Personally, I would let my child pursue any major in which she had a serious interest--but a serious talk about what you plan to do after college is in order as well as insisting that the child learn "the facts" about prospective careers-how likely is it to get a job after BA, how much can you expect to earn , what lifestyle do you expect to be able to afford, etc.??</p>
<p>My parents have limited financial means. They were both willing to give what they could to pay for any of the schools I was admitted to-- but refused to let me take out loans above $4000/year, hoping to protect me from the debt burdens they've each dealt with.
Therefore I had to turn down three schools on grounds of money alone. The decision between the other two that had accepted me was entirely mine, although one was slightly pricier than the other.</p>
<p>My parents didn't say flat out which schools or majors they would or would not pay for, but they made it quite clear over the years that they wanted me to take the cheapest route possible for maximum practical payoff - i.e. local state schools trump everything but Ivy League, and that's assuming a nice scholarship to the Ivy.</p>
<p>Well, we made strong suggestions to our S about the issue as well, but he chose USoCal with good merit aid & is very happy there, so it seems to have been a good choice.</p>
<p>I think [as a student] parents should take into consideration why the S or D wants that college so badly. If S or D only likes it because it has a pretty campus with lots of places to party and ok classes, then a parent shouldn't be paying for a four-year-fiesta. However if S or D prefers that way-to-expensive-for-our-budget school because it's classes are smaller, there's more discussion, it gives them room to decide what they want to major in without wasting undergrad years on crappy humdrum courses, then it's a valid concern.</p>
<p>I double-majored. I paid for the summer classes for my second major myself (liberal arts). Part of being a parent is encouraging your kid to do things that they wouldn't do at their youthful age but may regret later. I see nothing wrong with saying, "Yeah, theatre is a fine major, but I require that you take a second major in economics/take a minor in computer science/learn a skill (like being an auto mechanic) so you can support yourself while you pursue your dream, or if your dream changes."</p>
<p>I agree with parents having a say in their kid's choice college when finances are the issue, but there are some intangibles which I don't think are fair.</p>
<p>For example, my dad was accepted to Berkeley for undergrad, and was greatly looking forward to attending. However, his parents basically told him that they didn't want him going to some overtly-liberal, "hippie" school. He ended up going to Colorado-Boulder (by no means a bad school, but it's no Berkeley). The potential income he could be making now was marred by his parents. In cases like those, I believe it's not fair.</p>
<p>This show on NPR talks about majors and how important they are. The people on this show believe they are important. I'm not convinced.</p>
<p>It does look like this generation of college students is looking for more practical majors.</p>
<p>I thought the argument that business, and engineering majors are actually getting a broader education than liberal arts majors interesting. The argument was business and engineering majors are getting a liberal arts education and a practical real world education while liberal arts majors are not being exposed to business and some science. I'm not sure I buy this either. </p>
<p>As for drama and theater majors, I see these majors as very helpful in the real world. You learn public speaking and communication skills. Looks helpful to me considering how many people hate to talk in public.</p>