<p>A student who has to move off-campus unexpectedly may not necessarily have to live alone. There are often people in group apartments or houses who need one more roommate – often because one of the people who planned to live there had a last-minute change of plans. Check out the school’s off-campus housing listings and Craigslist.</p>
<p>Update: sadly not a happy one. First semester grades posted and we are looking at 2 D’s. Breakfast tomorrow to discuss options. He can’t consider transferring with the current gpa (and doesn’t want to) but he will undoubtedly be on academic probation. He says he is going to class, doing his homework, but that it is just really, really hard, <em>sigh</em> - maybe it is just too hard for him but he’s boxed into a corner at this point.</p>
<p>One of the things I really like about college, as opposed to high school, is that you are never actually “boxed into a corner.”</p>
<ol>
<li> You do not have to graduate in 4 years.</li>
<li> You can change majors and you can double major.</li>
<li> You can take a year’s worth of extra easy classes to bring your gpa up before you even try to graduate.</li>
<li> There are a lot of different ways to make it work for you, exiting with a relatively respectable gpa, as long as you are willing to put in the time. It may just look a little bit more like those “6 year graduation” rates they are always touting in USNEws</li>
</ol>
<p>YMMV</p>
<p>3bysmom - sorry to hear about this stressful situation. I wonder if it is possible for him to take a lighter load for the spring - whatever the lightest would be to still remain a full-time student. And maybe a few easier classes - not all CS. Even if that means he needs to catch up later - it sounds like he would benefit from an easier semester to get both his GPA and his morale up.</p>
<p>I also seem to remember you posted on another thread that he broke up with a very long-term GF this past fall. I’m sure that had some impact on him and his grades. </p>
<p>Hope he can regroup and return for a successful spring semester.</p>
<p>sorry for his trouble.</p>
<p>he’s an engineering major right? that’s very hard major, would he consider changing? or is it ge classes that he’s struggling with?</p>
<p>I haven’t followed the whole thread but some posters indicated your S is an engineering major. Engineering is a major with a high attrition rate for many reasons including the amount of work required, the type of work required, and the aptitude for the type of work. Only your S can determine what the issues are but it’s always possible he’s actually working hard but that he doesn’t have the aptitude for the type of work. Notice that I didn’t say he wasn’t ‘smart enough’ - just that it might not be his cup of tea. </p>
<p>If after looking at this honestly he decides he either doesn’t like doing the work or doesn’t have the aptitude for it he should do what many of his peers will do and switch majors out of engineering to something he enjoys more. There are many brilliant people who wouldn’t be able to handle engineering simply because they’re a better fit with some other area. Maybe your S is one of these - or maybe he’ll realize that although he worked at what he thought was an adequate level it just wasn’t enough and if he wants to stick with his major he’ll need to work even harder, take initiative to get the work done, study with others if need be, go to the prof’s office hours, work with the TA, lab assistants, etc. until he can do well with the material.</p>
<p>Had our talk, and really his option is limited to working harder, limiting all distractions and just plowing through. he absolutely will not consider switching out of CS - he says that he actually is very good at programming and loves the work aspect (lots of internships/ job offers/ opportunities) but says that he doesn’t feel like he entered the program as well prepared as many of his peers. Both in terms of academics as well as study skills. He is upstairs working on concrete goals right now and we will work together on defining the steps he needs to take to acheive them (tutors for each class, new advisor, a workable study plan). he may not ever love school but he needs the diploma/degree in order to do what he wants in the world, I hope he understands that. He did break up with the GF of over 5 years in October and he claims that he went a little wild there for a few weeks and that contributed to the slide. The biggest unknown at this point, I think is how much remediation will he need in his core classes so that he can move on. His program does not allow you to retake (for credit) a class in which you received a D. Interestingly enough, I was surprised to find out that the threshold for academic probation is only a 2.0! Assuming he is now on said Academic Probation, he is only allowed to take 4 classes next semester and he is going to take the freshman writing seminar that he put off in favor of engineering classes last year. Hopefully that will provide a little relief. I’m not sure what else there is to do.</p>
<p>^^ In CS he needs to really understand what resources are available to him and take advantage of them. I don’t know about his particular program or where he attends college but I’m familiar with CS at schools with rigorous programs. Simply liking the subject and wanting a degree is nice but it’s not enough - he also needs to be willing to do the work required and be successful at it or else he’s in the wrong major. Generically, I suggest - </p>
<ul>
<li><p>He needs to NOT procrastinate when it comes to writing the program assignments. These can often take 15-35 hours (sometimes more!) of effort in one week. No matter how smart the kid is or how good they are at programming these assignements will take time and they can’t wait until a few hours before it’s due to get started. This time requirement is in addition to the work required in the other classes. The program will either work or not so it’s quite objective. He may have a roomie in another major who can just whip out a paper the night before it’s due and get a decent grade on it but this can’t be done for the programming assignments a CS major is tasked with. This can sometimes be frustrating for the CS major when they see they need to do much more work than the roomie but that’s simply the way it is. </p></li>
<li><p>If he has less experience than others then he still s/b okay to do the work but he needs to understand it just might take him longer than the others. By the time he gets past the first year the others with prior experience should no longer have an advantage since most with prior experience have experience at a relatively low level - it’s helpful up front but people move past that level fairly quickly.</p></li>
<li><p>He needs to learn to work with others and not be shy about asking for help from classmates, TAs, Profs, lab assistants. If his inclination is to hole up someplace by himself (sterotypical of some CS people) to just try to hack it out on his own he’ll be at a disadvantage and possibly set himself up for failure. This is an important point.</p></li>
<li><p>He needs to understand the profs aren’t going to teach everything in the classroom. At UCLA/UCSD for example, they often focused on higher level concepts in the class and the profs sometimes expected the students to be able to learn the languages on their own. This requires initiative on the part of the student to learn the particular language and figure things out.</p></li>
<li><p>In CS, the programming language is just a means to an end and not the focal point in many CS programs or in industry. It’s the larger concepts of designing the application and solving the problems that are more important than the language itself. in industry there are typically a number of languages that can and might be used to solve a particular issue. </p></li>
<li><p>He should just assume that every programming project will take longer than he thinks it will - sometimes 2-3 times longer. Almost everyone under-estimates the length of time required to write anything other than a trivial program. This is all the more reason for starting as early as possible. </p></li>
<li><p>Writing programs, coming up with algorithms, and solving problems requires concentration and focus. This isn’t compatible with a lot of distractions so he needs to do what he needs to do to be able to focus. My kid was able to do so in her dorm room, perhaps with the help of music headphones, but some others head to the library, a computer lab, a picnic table, or whatever works for that individual.</p></li>
<li><p>Tied into the concentration and amount of work and elimination of distractions is the fact that video games, heavy FB or other social networking play, TV, and some other activities can consume a lot of time and cause a lot of interruptions. If he realizes he’s spending too much time in any of these areas he needs to come to terms with it and deal with it - i.e. get rid of the video games, TV, or whatever if it’s too much of a distraction. </p></li>
<li><p>In CS it’s wise to plan the course load so one isn’t, for example, taking all CS or heavy math/science courses at the same time. It’s best to balance the heavier classes (workload-wise) with the relatively easier GEs. He needs to think in terms just not of his interest area but of the workload balancing. There may be times when it’s best to lighten up on the number of courses in the semester if the courses being taken are mostly ‘heavies’.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>Finally, a lot of CS majors have an ‘awakening’ in the first semester when they realize it’s a tough major that requires a lot of work and isn’t the same thing as playing video games. Some of these people switch out ot another major but many of them simply adjust to the level of difficulty and work, step up to it, and end up being successful. When his first semester GPA is averaged into the subsequent semesters it’s less significant so he can still do well if he’s willing to step it up.</p>
<p>I think it sounds like a good plan! Four classes should be more manageable and the freshman writing seminar might be a refreshing change of pace. Wishing you both good luck!</p>
<p>What classes were his Ds in?</p>
<p>OP- hugs. This must be frustrating to watch.</p>
<p>You could be helpful to him in pointing out that he’s closing off some options by making the decision to double-down on the workload without getting input from the professors of the classes he took this semester, plus an academic dean.</p>
<p>He may have correctly diagnosed what went wrong. Or maybe not; and you certainly can’t tell as a third party. I don’t think professors want kids to struggle, and I think most of them are pretty astute at figuring out which are the kids who need to put their noses to the grindstone and which are the ones who are fundamentally unsuited to the discipline they are studying. An academic dean isn’t going to tell a kid that if something is too hard he should just walk away from it, nor is the dean likely to want a kid who is struggling way beyond the norm to keep pushing the darn rock up the hill.</p>
<p>Some outside perspective may be in order here. A Freshman writing seminar may be a great change of pace, or may be one more time-consuming and frustrating thing your son has to contend with this semester. Why not tap into some expertise? (That’s what you’re paying for- experienced professors who can often tell the difference between “working hard but making progress” vs. “kid is killing himself for no good outcome”.)</p>
<p>I also think that young men are very prone to this apocalyptic type of thinking, that there’s only one major or only one career or only one employer that’s worth their time and energy. There are people who started out in CS who end up happy and fulfilled as bio-statisticians and econometricians and agronomists and risk managers. All fields which require strong programming skills, good quant skills, and significant analytical skills. But he may find himself near the middle or top of the pack in the Econ department or Applied Math department or whatnot, vs. near the bottom in the CS department. So to presumptively decide that it’s got to be CS without at least exploring some of these other disciplines seems short-sighted to me.</p>
<p>If he were achieving a sustainable work/life balance in his present plan I’d leave it alone. But if you’re worried about him-- can’t he get perspective from the faculty who know him?</p>
<p>Thank you for your thoughtful responses. I think the idea of sitting down with one of his professors that knows him and has a sense of innate ability vs. ‘wanting it’ is a great suggestion. As someone above mentioned, he is very conflict averse - and has a hard time approaching a professor to say ‘i don’t get it’. Not sure if this trait is borne of shyness, pride or what but it is not serving him well. Erin’s dad the D’s were in Calculus II and Automata, Comput. & Complex something or other ( although now he is saying that this might change to a c-).</p>
<p>When my D was at a rigorous engineering school, Calc 2 had a reputation of being one of the toughest courses on campus. That may be the case elsewhere too. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>I had the equivalent of D’s in both calc I & calc II. I survived, and I even made Dean’s List my sophomore year. My grades were all over the map … we had a 100 point grading scale, but in the course of my schooling I received A’s in some courses, B’s in others, D’s in a few (no “C” grades, interestingly). I had a wonderful job offer after graduation, and no one ever cared what my GPA was after I graduated. I do realize that GPA is often important, but internships & a great work ethic can get the job even when the GPA is not top notch. All is not lost …</p>
<p>Love the suggestions on how he can proceed & do well. I know that I had to learn how to learn in college … sounds like your S needs to do this, as well.</p>
<p>I was wondering if his bad grades were in his major. Calc II is a hard course abd is tangential to CS. The Automata course might be in his major, though. I’m not sure how that might affect everything.</p>
<p>Automata is probably one of the most theoretical classes in the CS program and at my school, is actually cross-listed as a math course. Maybe your son is having trouble with college-level math classes? I found that there was a huge difference between my math classes in high school, which were almost just plug-and-chug and memorizing formula, to my college math classes where all my homework and tests are ask to give proofs. I personally had a lot of trouble with a few of my classes, and I spent a lot of free time in high school just like learning math. I’m always surprised at how large the gap is between what’s expected in high school and college.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this will help you, 3bysmom, but looking at your thread, I was reminded of some of the most successful engineers I know from generations past, mine and my parents’. Perhaps it was more usual then, but I am sure that even now, there are plenty of students who find themselves unprepared for the rigorous schools they managed to get into. It takes some work but it can be just fine.</p>
<p>I think you’ve identified the most important issue–his best move towards success would be conquer his reluctance to talk to his professors. I’ve been repeatedly amazed by stories of major turn-arounds after some personal contact. </p>
<p>Good luck to him. I think he has every reason to be confident it will work out in the end.</p>
<p>Good luck to him. </p>
<p>I wonder if there are any CC classes that he could audit over the summer to kind of give him a “leg up” during the fall semester. If he’s not taking Cal III next semester, then maybe he could audit that over the summer.</p>
<p>BTW…you mention being surprised that he got accepted into his ivy. Why?</p>
<p>Surprised because it was a real reach school for him.</p>
<p>@kelsmom
The thing is…great internships can offset a bad GPA when applying for jobs, but in order to get those great internships, you need a high GPA (a lot of them put the cutoff at 3.0 or even 3.5 at the top ones). It’s kind of a catch-22…sadly.</p>