<p>I agree with localboy. Having been following grizing’s “case” for a while, I think the “right” solution should be getting him back to a good public school or private day school close to home. I may be too pessimistic or cynical, but I think trying to resolve things by working with the school at this point would not have significant immediate impact. By the reactions grinzing was getting from the teachers/advisors that she once mentioned here, it feels that the “treatment” her son is getting is “standard” rather than an exception, so how realistic is it that things could change for better significantly by being a squeaky wheel? Now in the long run the school’s way of operation may be changed for better, but you can’t wait for it to happen can you.</p>
<p>I talked to my husband and he thinks Boom09 is on the right track. The transition to high school often uncovers a lot of things that went unnoticed during earlier years especially in students who are gifted.</p>
<p>I just read Michael Bradley’s Your Teen is Crazy. One of the main points he makes is that parents still very much matter with teens, even though it may not feel like it to the parent. Here’s a haunting quote: " Parents often treat their teens as “little adults.” Teens left on their own as small adults not only . . . [make serious mistakes], they become depressed or rageful in the bargain."</p>
<p>grinzig: I love that book–I’m not a fan of parenting books in general, but that one is full of wisdom. </p>
<p>Bottom line is…trust your gut, more than anything any of us say. You know your child. Once you make a decision, spin it as positively as you can, and I really do think it’ll work out fine for everyone.</p>
<p>grinzig -</p>
<p>Alot of great thoughts and insights given above. While I may not have words of wisdom, I just wanted to chime in and tell you that my son transferred schools for many of the same reasons you are citing. It was the best decision for us. My son had feelings of “failure” and “wussing out”. We spent much time talking as a family about the events at the prior school and really dissecting what happened that caused the need to switch - most importantly what his role was in the difficult year. We were honest about what the school “failed” to provide in our part, but did not come to the conclusion that it was the school’s fault. Rather, we wanted something that the school was not equipped to provide - strong relationships between the students and faculty outside the classroom AND policies/procedures that recognized that the school’s customers are incomplete, adolescent individuals and not adults. Armed with that knowledge and experience, this year at the new school has been stellar. Recently home at spring break, my son said it was really hard but the best decision he has made. Of course, he knew boarding school was right - the first school just wasn’t the right one for him (or for us). It is not easy to change school, but it was worth the pain and effort. One final thought, be honest with the new school about why you are switching and what your expectations are. This honesty allowed all parties involved to enter the situation with open eyes and a common game plan. Good luck and I know your son will do great no matter what you decide.</p>
<p>luvscuba’smom - I am so glad to hear that things finally worked out for your son!!! I remember what a tough time he was having last year . . .</p>
<p>Thanks dodgersmom.</p>