<p>Camp Grenada- that is hilarious. Talk about songs from our past!</p>
<p>I remember when a friend of mine with a kid at an emotional growth boarding school (very restrictive) was concerned about her daughter's tears and theatrics during their short weekly phone calls. The counselor told her that the kids are very manipulative (which was why many of them were AT the school) and after they spent 15 minutes on the phone crying to their parents and insisting that they were being starved and mistreated, they hung up and skipped away to join their friends.</p>
<p>Hey Jenny - I fully expect that by the end of Sept. you will have revisited this thread to say that your D has decided that her school is the best place on earth. From the way you describe her, your daughter sounds very social, very emotional, a person who likes to be involved - all the characteristics of the student who will come to love her new school once all the "weirdness" has gone out of it. As everyone else has said, give her, give it, give yourself some time.</p>
<p>The only way I know that song if from a Canin Advanticks commercial: Hello Mother, Hello Father, fleas ticks misquitos, really bother . . . I loved that commercial; it had a golden retriever puppy in it.</p>
<p>Hello muddah, hello faddah
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.</p>
<p>I went hiking with Joe Spivy
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.</p>
<p>All the counselors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.</p>
<p>How I don't want this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has malaria
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party.</p>
<p>Take me home, oh muddah, faddah
Take me home, I hate Granada
Don't leave me out in the forest where
I might get eaten by a bear.
Take me home I promise I will not make noise
Or mess the house with other boys.
Oh please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day.</p>
<p>Dearest faddah, darling muddah,
How's my precious little bruddah
Let me come home, if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.</p>
<p>Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's better
Muddah, faddah kindly disregard this letter.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the good advice. She called today crying, asking if she could please come home. She really is unhappy--but I did not negotiate (no 'stick it out for one semester'). I tried to focus on the things that she did like (water polo, the few girls she has met, the food)--although she did say, I didn't go to boarding school for the food! </p>
<p>I emailed her advisor, who immediately called me once receiving my email. She was very supportive and understanding. She said that she will be stopping by to speak with my daughter this afternoon and will try to get her talking about her feelings. One nice thing about the school--the advisor said that a teacher had contacted her yesterday, telling her that he had seen my daughter crying in the hallway. My D told him that she was crying about a friend who has cancer--but the teacher still wanted the advisor to be aware of it. It appears that the school has a very supportive community--watching out for the kids. (She does have a friend w/ cancer, but that is not why she was crying.)</p>
<p>My daughters school is a small coed school in New England. It isn't one that is usually mentioned here on this board. We really liked it when we visited. I hope things all work out and that I can post in a few weeks that she loves the school. I will keep you posted!</p>
<p>Jenny, this is a tough situation for you but, hang in there. At this point things can hopefully only get better. It is too early for her to really decide if the school is the wrong place for her. My D had a friend who absolutely hated his experience with BS and like your D wanted out immediately. He is now a Senior at the same school and loves it. It may be helpful for her to speak to a counselor at the Health Center. Do you think she would be willing to try this? I would probably have her advisor recommend that she consider this as an option. I remember when our d who is now a senior, was a freshman, the school suggested we not engage in any conversation that may lead to the student to whine or something like that.</p>
<p>Jennyc--I remember well the heart-wrenching feelings you are probably experiencing right now. There is nothing you can do to ease her pain--you can only listen and reassure her. Just remember that she's this homesick because you provided a loving, secure home for her.</p>
<p>Now she's on a new path and she's scared. The odds are in her favor that she'll be just a little happier each day. But it will be a rocky couple of weeks. For my D the end of the second week was filled with desperation when she realized we were not going to save her!</p>
<p>Next year she'll be comforting the scared freshman and laughing about how much she cried and acted like a baby.</p>
<p>For what it's worth, when my D had been on her college campus for 5 hours, she called crying and acting just like she did at BS...there's no one here like me, I don't know anyone, this was a mistake, etc. BUT during that phone call she said she knew she was acting ridiculous and that she'd get over it just like she did at BS. Her college homesickness was over by the next morning.</p>
<p>So, your D is learning some survival skills that will serve her well later in life and will help build her confidence. She's going to be ok. And so will you! </p>
<p>I'll never forget my D calling me breathless with excitement on the third day of boarding school after she viewed DNA through a microscope! Sure, she was miserable 24/7, but she took time out from her misery to be amazed!</p>
<p>Thanks Baseballmom. I have been up for hours thinking about my daughter. She called last night, sobbing that she has no friends, no one likes her, they don't talk to her... She went to the school dance and stood by herself. The one girl that she had met in the dorm barely spoke to her (according to my d). So she left and walked around campus crying her eyes out. I don't know what to say to her. </p>
<p>My heart is breaking for her, but I do feel that she will make friends. However, it is a small school with a 60% boarding population. Doing the math, I think that there are only about 22 freshman girls that board. (75 freshman, 50% girls = 37, 60% board = 22 girls.) I don't know how many of the 22 girls are international students, but I am assuming that there are least 8 or 10. The freshman girls are divided into two dormitories, which makes it even more difficult for them to hang out. And, the advisor did tell me that there was a "clique" of older girls in my D's dorm. She said it wasn't a bad clique, just that they were upperclassmen who were quite close.</p>
<p>I sincerely hope that I did the right thing by sending my daughter to boarding school. At the time, we both thought that the advantages of bs outweigh the comforts of being at home, surrounded by friends. However, there is no use second guessing myself at this stage. My only hope is that she will start to make some friends there and begin to feel happy again.</p>
<p>Yes, the contract was for the year. However, I did pay tuition insurance, so I believe that will help offset some cost if she were to leave after 1 semester. Hopefully I won't need to explore that possibility!:)</p>
<p>OMG J I know that commercial! I love it as well. Hello Mother, Hello Father, bugs ticks mosquitoes really bother... thanks for the package ,that's why I'm writing. .. Canine Adventix (sp?) really stops all the biting! </p>
<p>I dont know how I remember that after months of sfeeing it.</p>
<p>It's very sad to hear about this. I hope that after this weekend with all its social events, she may start to find her place there. I suspect that her frequent crying might make others stand off. I guess you need to give it a few weeks and hope for the best. Stay in touch with her advisor. I think the idea of talking to a counselor is a good one, if they have one & she is willing to do this. In the meantime, keep reminding yourself about all the reasons you thought this would be a good place for her. Is water polo a winter sport? It would be great if her sport is a fall sport.</p>
<p>How can everyone on this board be so sure the school is a good fit for this kid? I am just curious. I am not looking to make this parent feel bad but I have to tell you there are alot of True stories out there about some pretty well hyped boarding schools that are an absolute nightmare ranging from teachers to students who have issues. So please a little balance on this one. I would not cut my kids voice out. The parent knows her child and knows if the kid is in the habit of whining or if she sounds like this is a legit concern.</p>
<p>Incidently the term "helicopter parent" (I learned during a news interview) was first used in litigation by a school being sued by the parents of a child who was assaulted twice on campus. The attorney representing the school attacked the parents credibility by saying that they were " helicopter parents" I dont know who won the case but it was probably the school because they can afford to hire 25 lawyers and outlast the parents- LOL. Perhaps its time to "retire" or "bury" the phrase. Being there is a good thing sometimes.</p>
<p>Jenny-In response to the idea that this school might not be a good match for your D, I don't see anything in her comments to you that would indicate that. It is premature to think of leaving the school.</p>
<p>She is homesick. She is lonely because she has yet to make friends. And since she left so many good friends at home, how do these new strangers compare? </p>
<p>Once her classes begin, she will meet many kids who now have something in common with her...same age, same class, same teacher...it's simple math. When she calls you can ask about her classes and that will provide some safe ground for her to share information that is not so emotional.</p>
<p>Deal with her day-to-day and try not to lose sleep worrying. She's frightened and you're her lifeline to her former life, so she's going to say anything that might get you to come rescue her.</p>
<p>I understand what baseballmom said. For me, it's a little hard because my friends here and I haven't formed any inside jokes yet and when someone says something that we could laugh about before with my friends, I can't now. And that's hard, but it happens to everyone, in different amounts. From what I've heard from seniors and sophomores and from my own experience, you begin to become tighter with the girls in your grade after half a week or so or a week when people start to form groups or hang out with a group of people. In my opinion, that helps because groups start to find common interests. The use of having groups - I'm not talking about bad or exclusive "cliques" here - is that you always have someone to talk to and you have people to hang out with. That's just my experience. Overall, everyone here is great, but it's a process for everyone.</p>