<p>I'm glad that things have worked out. I think that your D should be responsible for packing and other arrangements for her stuff. </p>
<p>Have you any thoughts about how she ended up at a place that seemed to be such a poor fit for her? Your insights probably would help other families as they make their decisions.</p>
<p>I'm also curious about how she never formally declined Adelphi. Was she ambivalent up to the last second? Did they not have a deadline to get her reply to their offer?</p>
<p>crissyp, Bravo for listening to your daughter with your heart. I failed to truly listen to one of my kiddos this summer about a situation that was a particularly bad fit for her. We are still dealing with the trauma her involvement in this program caused. And this from a child who willingly has spent weeks away from us, stayed for up to 3-4 days by herself, and is always ready to get away on her own. And kuddos to your daughter for being able to make a decision of this magnitude with such conviction. It seems she is destined to follow her heart and I'm sure will be successful at whatever she does. So glad for a positive outcome.</p>
<p>Crissy - I am very happy for your and your DD - as such a difficult decision was made - it certainly sounds like the alternative choice is very positive for both of you :) I wish your gal well - I am sooo happy she will continue to follow her path towards nursing - bless her!!! :) Very soon you will be able to take that collective sigh of relief as well............ after the move LOL.</p>
<p>There are happy endings in this world.</p>
<p>Her packing for my next vacation, what a great idea!! Thanks...</p>
<p>She is in the process of packing all her things so they will be ready when we get there in the a.m.</p>
<p>We did visit the school 4 times, and she even spent a night there in June for orientation. It is a great school, not too big, and at that time she felt comfortable enough to think it would be a great fit for her. Actually moving in, and living there, and studying there is not the "fit" she was hoping for.</p>
<p>Regarding Adelphi, I am assuming she is still being considered an accepted student because the late registration for classes is not until this Friday.
All they are asking for is her high school transcript, her withdrawal transcript from Sacred Heart, copies of her transcripts for all the college level classes she took while in HS, her schedule of classes from Sacred Heart, and her deposit.</p>
<p>You are to be admired for the way you approached this. Many of us would have questioned her decision minimized her concerns, and attributed her dissatisfaction to the transition. The best way to look at this is that there is no right or wrong decision here. Even if there should be some second guessing or regret, she is young, and no long term harm done.</p>
<p>Momgirl, thanks for those kind words!</p>
<p>Best of luck to you and your daughter...I am sure that it will all work out! :)</p>
<p>Crissyp - Best wishes to your daughter from me too as she begins at Adelphi. Parents have to be advocates for their children - and no one knows his or her own child better than a parent. Your daughter must be very happy to have such good listeners on her side.</p>
<p>crissyp - I also admire the way YOU handled the situation. Some of us would have freaked at this super-quick & dramatic turn of events. Kudos to both of you. You - for your calm support of D; D for her quick & effective action.</p>
<p>I know I'm coming in here late but the reason it is so important for nursing students enrolled in a hospital program to live in the dorm is that it is so hard. The girls bond with each other once the program gets started. And the reason it is best to be there is you have so much work both academically and on the floor. It's like heaven to just be able to walk across the street and colapse in your room! And a hospital has so much happening all the time roommates no matter what background bond together.On the other hand maybe your daughter is not cut out to be a nurse.It's difficult work. Hospital floor experience is really the best way to become a good one too.</p>
<p>bhg:</p>
<p>I didn't see anything in the OP's post indicating her D "is not cut out to be a nurse". I think her issues were related to the particular college/experience - not being unable or unwilling to do difficult work. The OP's D appears to be quite capable.</p>
<p>BHG - ^^^hogwash!!! You missed the point completely</p>
<p>Congratulations! You are very lucky that Adelphia held her spot and her scholarship. That has got to be pretty unusual. You said "...because she never formally declined her acceptance, she is still considered an accepted student. Her scholarship money is still available to her."</p>
<p>That was kind of unfair/rude of you not to send notice to Adelphi when you accepted Sacred Heart. I hope you don't feel bad because some other deserving kid lost out on scholarship money that your daughter decided she initially didn't want.</p>
<p>Also, will she be living at home and commuting to Adelphi? If not, what makes you think she will like dorm life any better in idealic Garden City, NY, then Fairfied, CT?</p>
<p>I also am concerned about the fact that the scholarship $ was still there because apparently the OP's D had never declined Adelphi despite the response deadline that all colleges that I'm aware of have. This makes me speculate that the OP's D never made a firm decision, and always had in the back of her mind that if she didn't like Sacred Heart, she always could go to Adelphi. I also am speculating that the D and her family paid a deposit to Adelphi to hold her space.</p>
<p>If this is what she did, then it was unfair to other students and to Sacred Heart and Adelphi, which may have kept a space open for her that some other student would have used. Sacred Heart now also is left with a vacancy that it's unlikely to be able to fill as the semester has started.</p>
<p>If she had deliberately kept Adelphi in her back pocket that way, then I also wonder if her crying, etc. was really designed to manipulate her mom into doing the work to switch the girl into another college, and having that switch appear to somehow be the college's fault, not the D's fault for not making up her mind. Indeed, I suspect that if Sacred Heart had known that the D accepted 2 college admissions (and that's what I'm guessing happened since the Adelphi offer was still open), they may not have refunded anything at all or have been so willing to let her leave with such light financial penalties.</p>
<p>It may have been that if the D had not kept her Adelphi options open, she would have found a way to adapt to dorm life. What I'm wondering is if she had always thought, "I'll just try Sacred Heart, and if it's not perfect, then I'll go to Adelphi."</p>
<p>I don't like to rain on anyone's parade, but if the Adelphi option had not been left so conveniently open, I would not be speculating that the college switch was due to the D's not doing the hard work of making up her mind about what college to go to, not her being too immature or sensitive to handle dorm life.</p>
<p>Incidentally, will she be staying in a dorm at Adelphi?</p>
<p>If my speculations are wrong about how there was still a space and a scholarship for the D at Adelphi, I apologize for the speculations, and I hope that the OP will explain more about how her daughter was so fortunate. I've been a college prof, and haven't seen that kind of situation occur unless a college believes that a student has committed to attending their institution.</p>
<p>I have to agree that it was not right to not properlly decline that spot at the second school</p>
<p>as well, if D did had not held onto fall back school slot, would she have tried to stick it out</p>
<p>It is amazing that Adephia held her spot....most schools do not do that</p>
<p>i too find it bad form that Adelphia was not properly notified regarding decision....</p>
<p>NSM, it is fairly common here for colleges, both public and private, to retain admission for a year. It is less common for them to keep scholarship money available, but that can depend on the desireability of the candidate. Two of my daughter's safety schools sent letters stating that her admission would remain in good standing for one year (until after the beginning of the second semester) should she choose, at the last minute to attend, or transfer early in the year. Large state U, for instance, absorbs so many kids early in first year and at Christmas break, that I think it is easier for them to maintain a student's file, rather than starting all over again with the paperwork.</p>
<p>If what Cangel described is the case, then clearly, my speculation was off, and I give the OP and her D my wholehearted congratulations on how well things worked out for them.</p>
<p>Will the D be commuting from home or living in a dorm?</p>
<p>I am very glad all seems to have worked out well for crissy's d. If she is living in a dorm, there may still be issues; but if she is closer to home, she can come home easier to get a break from it all.</p>
<p>As far as options when a student is unhappy. I know last year when son was so unhappy, if he had had a fall back option--he would have left in a heart beat. As it was, if he had left he knew that he would be sitting out a semester--so decided to hang in. Was it right or wrong--who knows? But he does know that he survived and that being unhappy, while certainly not pleasant for him (or me) did not prevent him from being successful.</p>
<p>I also hope things work out well for your daughter, Crissy.</p>
<p>While I am of the mindset that people can grow from being a little unhappy, and that most students take awhile to adjust to being away from home, I also applaud parents who listen to and take their children's concerns seriously. I think it is easy to "poopoo" kid's impressions or concerns, to undermine them or act like they're nothing.</p>
<p>I think of the amount of time I spend in school as an unhappy student because no one really listened to me. As a result, I really listen to how my kids feel, and I commend Crissy for listening to hers.</p>
<p>Best of luck.</p>
<p>I agree Allmusic with listening to your child. Sometimes I think that maybe I am taking the easy way out, but I do try and leave these decisions to my kid. They are the ones living with it and bottom line---think I'm a little chicken and don't want to be blamed if the decision I pushed for doesn't work out well;).</p>