<p>Obviously, Adelphi knew this girl was not in their freshman class. She did not attend orientation, did not show up for a dorm room, etc. They don't seem to have any problem with it. And Holy Cross seems to have dealt with the situation fine also. As straightforward as this young lady was in her decision to leave Holy Cross, I doubt she went to them and said I'm having a nervous breakdown and need to return home for intensive medical treatment so could you please refund my money. People on cc are so use to dealing with extremely selective schools that have 15 super qualified students for every spot that they just assume all schools operate under that scenario. I'm sure if Adelphi intended to give away every scholarship they offered, they would have contacted this girl previously. </p>
<p>When my niece matriculated at her chosen school with a full tuition scholarship, 2 universities informed her they would hold her spot "just in case" (she was at the top of their candidate pool), one offered to hold her scholarship and the other indicated if things didn't work out for her they would see what they could do to find "other money". These were verbal committments but they obviously wanted her and knew she had seriously considered them. They did not admit everyone who applied but their yield on top students was low enough that this was not a problem for them. She was not taking anything from any other student. </p>
<p>Rice offers about 100 students the special 2 year research scholarship in hopes of getting 25-30 students in the program. They do not have the resources for 100 students in this program. If someone doesn't accept, they do not give a different student that scholarship until they have 100 acceptances. So, when my daughter turned down Rice, no one was offered her scholarship and she didn't take anything away from anyone else. </p>
<p>crissyp, you do not owe anyone an explanation of your daughter's actions. Your family did what was right for you and obviously both schools are accepting with the way you and your daughter handled things. Both schools have probably seen this kind of situation before. Holy Cross was probably sorry to lose your daughter but didn't want a miserable, depressed kid on their hands and Adlephi is obviously delighted to get your daughter. Looks like the three main players in this situation all agree to the resolution so it seems to me that's a win-win. Hurray for happy endings.</p>
<p>I thought BHG's comments were spot on. I am sorry the student was so sad but her capabilities are something the parents need to keep an eye on. This move indicates an inability to move away from home and an inability to suffer through difficulties. Since so many 18 year olds leave home with glee and suffer through far greater difficulties, these apparent inabilities are worth keeping an eye on especially given the time frame. Nursing is not for the faint of heart. Abandoning school after a few weeks is a very, very radical move, bordering on impetuous. I feel certain crissy and her H have had such conversations.</p>
<p>Keeping an Adelphi acceptance on the string also indicates some questionable decision making, IMO.</p>
<p>crissy, you've clearly done your best in a very difficult situation. I sincerely wish hyou all the best.</p>
<p>As we see on this forum time after time - many 17-18 yo's are not ready to live far from home - under any circumstances - but do quite well closer to their support systems. It could well be called maturity not so much inabilities IMHO. I don't consider that this girl abandoned school after a few weeks - she made a choice to leave after a few days - which also allowed her to be able to retrieve $$'s according to a withdrawal policy - which most schools have in place.</p>
<p>Since it has not been exposed as to what Adelphi was honoring - they may have had a kind of 'open' system that would allow this to occur - especially prior to the deadline set for late registration.</p>
<p>I don't find it that hard to understand Crissy's D's difficulties with transition, and her decision to pursue a different path. I also think it's a little silly to assume that it means she's not qualified to pursue nursing. Lots of us take detours, and over time, manage to chart a course. Not all 18 year olds are ready to travel the world by themselves, although I think it's great that some do. I don't think that Crissy's D's hesitation is predictive in any way.</p>
<p>I have to say cheers made some fine points....and while it all worked out peachy keen for the three involved...i do think some looking into the real causes of the change...an honest look....</p>
<p>My Niece just becamse a Nurse....it was tough, she is older (28) and studied physical therapy first, but switched to nursing</p>
<p>It takes a calm, together, confident person, because the really have the life of another in their hands and minds...they need to be able to deal with stressful, not in your control, situations</p>
<p>Of course, you are prepared for some of that during school, but I do think there must be some part of that already there</p>
<p>When I went to college, I thought I wanted to do accounting, loved #s, was good at it, but it put me in a serious coma, it was SOOOO not for me</p>
<p>I am sure all will work out fine, but one needs to look into themselves and what they think they are capable of when going into the health fields, people's lives are at stake...so a big heart is not enough</p>
<p>There is a HUGE change of ability to cope and deal - between the ages of 17/18 and of 21/22 when one graduates from nursing school - LOTS of growth occurs and reality has been seen on many levels. That confidence and maturity can be achieved over the course of those 4 years quite easily - even kids coming out of Associate programs in nursing are quite well prepared to work in the field - alot of lessons are learned on the job as well. </p>
<p>The comfort zone of learning may well be where one feels the best about their chosen field and about themselves. I would not make judgement on this girls abilities to achieve the final goal of RN based on that she did this week at all.</p>
<p>" People on cc are so use to dealing with extremely selective schools that have 15 super qualified students for every spot that they just assume all schools operate under that scenario."</p>
<p>Keepmesane, I agree exactly. I will let you on one more secret. I know a school that is slightly more competitive than Adelphi, and someone walked into admissions, to apply as a transfer student, in early-mid August without an appointment. He had a copy of his transcript in his backpocket. He was apparently admitted on the spot. They only needed to get back to him regarding which classes would transfer for credit. The young man was able not only to get housing, but a single dorm room was available when he went to their office of residence life. I know this story, b/c the student told me about his experience, and I believe his story. Granted, this was a transfer student.</p>
<p>Crissy, I wish your D all the best, whether in nursing, or any other profession.</p>
<p>Good grief -- nursing is not on the same scale as being an astronaut! Two of my sisters and a niece are R.N.s. They each found their way through a different path, and only my niece started right out of high school and went straight through. One sister took time off to have her daughter (now the nurse) and the other became an R.N. after other degrees. (She later earned a Master's in Electrical Engineering -- I think she has a problem with attention span!) </p>
<p>There are all kinds of nurses and all kinds of nursing jobs. My niece works in ICU. One sister (the adrenaline junkie) did Neurosurgical ICU and the other has focused on Labor and Delivery. Each position seems to suit their personalities, and each was a different person at the end of training than they were at 18. Kids grow up at different rates. And I know several M.D.s who I think primarily went into the field due to parental pressure and still became fine doctors. Let's cut this girl some slack, eh?</p>
<p>sjmom.......Let's cut this girl some slack, eh?....................well said:)</p>
<p>I am sure we ALL made rash judgements some where along the line at 17 or 18 - that did not affect our outcomes at all by the time we landed at 21 or 22. :D</p>
<p>(It seems that due to the lack of perfection of some - some on this board tend to really over analyze just about every thing/one - IMHO)</p>
<p>If you think I am looking for perfection, I am not,not at all. But I do think a person's temperment should be taken into account (internally, not for others to judge, or reject out right, or anything of the sort) but certain temperments are not the best match for certain jobs...and if in a bad situation, you have a certain reaction, you should look deep inside to see if what you have chosen to do would be the right course...I am not all saying this is what is going on with the student....but I do think that going into the medical professions shouldnt be taken lightly</p>
<p>My friend is a teacher, when she was young she vacilated between that and nursing...after a couple of medical incidences, she figured medicine wasn't for her....</p>
<p>I personally don't think nurses are given the respect they deserve, it is a noble, difficult, worthy profession, that requires a certain skill set to do it well, that is all I am talking about</p>
<p>For my friend, it was seeing a bad car accident and freezing and not handling the blood very well...so for her, medicine, not a good match</p>
<p>"Good grief -- nursing is not on the same scale as being an astronaut! Two of my sisters and a niece are R.N.s. "</p>
<p>Nursing is a very tough field that requires the ability to think clearly and to be calm and accurate under very difficult circumstances. One may not get a lot of down time, and will have to be able to work well with a variety of types of people. One also needs to handle stress very well. </p>
<p>Plenty of people become nurses after having kids or even later in their lives. I don't see a comparison between the situation of the OP's D's leaving a school quickly because she didn't like dorm life and that of the poster who said that her relatives became nurses long after graduating from high school.</p>
<p>I can't tell from the posts whether the OP's D has what it takes to be a nurse. I do know, however, that it's very typical for high school students and college students to lack a realistic idea about what it's like to work in or study for the fields that they think that they want to enter. That's why the majority of college students switch majors, and probably the majority of college grads end up working in fields unrelated to their majors.</p>
<p>And EVERY potential nursing student will find that out as well - at some point during their undergrad - if it is right - or not..................... but if an 18 yo wants to give it a shot - more power to them - go for it.</p>
<p>I honestly don't think that that unhappy gal made a dire decision - maybe just needed to be closer to home and support system to have a better shot at being successful with her choice.</p>
<p>.................but I do think that going into the medical professions shouldnt be taken lightly......... - absolutely - but at 17 - give um some space and time to grow at least.</p>
<p>I sure wasn't the same person I was at 17 that I was at 21 - by any stretch of the imagination</p>
<p>I find the tenor of some of these comments to be a litte disturbing. Where is there room for changing one's mind? Isn't college about exploring options? I'm certainly not the same person I was at 18 -- or at 28 or 38. I'm sure I'll be different at 48.</p>
<p>So many kids come to CC looking for validation and advice. The bar is set so high, that kids question whether a 740 on an SAT is good enough. There are increasing levels of anxiety and depression in both high school and college students. Stories about cutting, drug and alcohol abuse abound. As parents, I think we need to tone down the rhetoric, and encourage kids to try things they may not succeed at. </p>
<p>For the record, every job has its challenges, whether it's in business, medicine, education, food services or whatever. People adapt. Nursing can be tough, but so can teaching. I would hope that education programs in both fields would teach kids how to mature in their professional lives. And there are plenty of nurses working in doctor's offices, schools and other areas that are not as stressful as the ER or ICU. </p>
<p>For those of you who have been so negative about this girl, I'd suggest we listen to some nurses. I've had plenty of friends who are nurses, even with Master's degrees, that I didn't feel comfortable watching my kids. </p>
<p>There has to be room for mistakes. How else does anyone learn? And why is the decision to try a different college such a big mistake anyway.</p>
<p>I apologize for the lengthy post -- I will try to restrain myself for the rest of this thread's life, but this has really hit some hot buttons for me.</p>
<p>I don't quite understand all this discussion about nursing. The OP's D hadn't even started her first class when she decided to switch. The switch appears to have no relation at all to the major - it's related to the particular college experience. For anyone to assume that because she changed her mind (a the age of 17 or 18) about attending that particular college she's somehow not going to be able to handle nursing school is quite a leap. Apples are being interpreted as oranges here.</p>
<p>I never thought my plea for help and advice would wind up to be such a contraversial subject. </p>
<p>Listen, my daughter is home, she actually cried, and told me that it was the first time in her life that she cried because she was HAPPY. We spent the day over at Adelphi registering for all her classes. The dean of nursing actually was able to get her into all the classes she actually needed. She told us to RUN over to the registrar's office to make sure they would not be closed out. Adephi welcomed her with open arms and Sacred Heart was very supportive with her decision to leave. It actually was a very rewarding day for us. </p>
<p>CANGEL"s "speculation" was right on the money! Adelphi was going to retain her admission for 1 year and told her so because she was such a desirable student. </p>
<p>NORTHSTORM - she will be commuting, we live about 20 minutes from the school. It was not her maturity level that factored in with her decision to leave, actually it was her maturity level that made her leave. Last night two girls were carried out of their dorms because they were passed out from drinking vodka. She does not want to live in this atmosphere. Listen, Sacred Heart is known to be a "dry campus" and it not labeled as a party school. I understand this goes on in every school, but why does she feel like she has to settle for living like this, with girls vomitting in the bathrooms all night.</p>
<p>Alittle background on my daughter, she has a 4.0 average and graduated in the top 10 of her class being ranked number 8. SHe was a peer leader through all her HS and JR HS years, was both National Honor Society and Spanish Honor Society. I'm not saying this because she is my daugher, but she is an excellent student and will make a wonderful nurse. She just feels like she can get a much better education living at home. Contgrat's to Her!!
She knows she has the support and love of her family by her side at all times.</p>
<p>Thanks to all of you that have supported my daughters decision</p>
<p>And to the rest of these comments, for cripe's sake, get a grip!!!! What the HECK does this have to do with whether she should be a nurse or not?????</p>
<p>Some of this discussion is beyond disturbing. Judgmental much????</p>