<p>Post a nerdy joke.</p>
<p>Two atoms are walking down the street. One suddenly stops and says, "Oh no, I've lost an electron."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"</p>
<p>What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain goat?</p>
<p>Nothing - you can’t cross a vector with a scalar.</p>
<p>Aww, I know some, but they require the listener/reader to have an adequate understanding of Mandarin and modern Chinese culture.</p>
<p>Some people say the glass is half full, others say it’s half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.</p>
<p>Not a joke, but a pick up line: If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.</p>
<p>^If the girl actually understood it, I’d bang her at that instant.</p>
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<p>Not mine btw.</p>
<p>bumppp so i dont lose this awesome thread.</p>
<p>Harold and kumar ftw</p>
<p>I wish I were a derivative so I can lie tangent to your curves. I wish I were an integral so I can be the space under your curves.</p>
<p>That guy was really mean to me. He is such a f’‘’(x).</p>
<p>If I could be your integral, I’d be indefinite, so I can be the area under ALL your curves</p>
<p>The Evolution of Math Teaching</p>
<p>1960s: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit?</p>
<p>1970s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit?
1970s (new math): A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with set M of money. The cardinality of the set M is equal to 10, and each element of M is worth $1. Draw ten big dots representing the elements of M. The set C of production costs is composed of two big dots less than the set M. Represent C as a subset of M and give the answer to the question: What is the cardinality of the set of profits?</p>
<p>1980s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8, and his profit is $2. Underline the word “potatoes” and discuss with your classmates.</p>
<p>1990s - present: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. Discuss the result with students in your group. Write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics.</p>
<p>OP’s joke is on the sheet containing my current chem problem set.</p>
<p>(poster on the wall of my chem classroom)
Little Jimmy took a drink
Now little Jimmy is no more,
Because what he thought was H20
Was H2SO4</p>
<p>2 men in a restaurant:</p>
<p>Waiter: What would you like to drink?
Man 1: Some H2O, please.
Waiter: No problem. And you, sir?
Man 2: Some H2O too, please.</p>
<p>Man 2 dies shortly thereafter.</p>
<p>I may be sin squared and you may be cosine squared, but together we’re one.</p>
<p>Would you like to see the exponential growth of my natural log?</p>
<p>A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?”
The bartender replies, “For you, no charge!”</p>
<p>And now a 2-part knock knock joke:
1: Knock knock.
2: Who’s there.
1: Interrupting cow
2. Interrup-
1: MOOOOOOOO.</p>
<p>1: Knock knock
2: Who’s there?
1: Interrupting coefficient of friction
2: Interrupting co-
1: MUUUUUUU!</p>
<p>I do not think – therefore I am not.</p>
<p>Here is the illustration of this principle:
One evening, Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The bartender approached and said, “Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?”. Descartes replied, “I think not.”, and promptly vanished.</p>
<p>^The first two lines kill the joke. Exclude them and it’s perfect.</p>
<p>We made this up in school
To the tune of the popular Lonely Island Song
I just had chem,
and carbon makes wood,
makes wood,
Put your valence electrons inside ohhhh
…Just 5 milligram…It counts,
…She could be my wife…so good?..Yeah hotter than a gamma ray knife!
Just had chem! lol</p>
<p>What does i say to pi? </p>
<p>i: be rational
pi: get real</p>