Agree that it would be worth exploring if she could stay if you pay so she moves only back to the place where she can STAY instead of a short move and then another move. Moves are tough on SRs.
rockville, yes for the name tags. I just ordered Mom a camp stamp and wish I had done it earlier. The place is supposed to do the laundry, but there are facilities where she can leave um wash her own if she choses.
I am glad you are getting up the chain for the bad care. My nurse friends are often sick about the staffing.
And I thought Medicare paid 100 days of rehab??? At least where Mom was after knee replacement that is what I understood.
Medicare pays 20 days at 100% and 80 days at 80%. I just read up on “improvement” in rehab yesterday. There is no longer that requirement. http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/medicares-improvement-standard-for-physical-therapy-has-changed/2013/06/24/102f073a-c8c8-11e2-9245-773c0123c027_story.html
Today is the first day I could hear my sister relaxing. Mom is so well cared for, and was thrilled to read in the paper her facility was named top 5 in the tri-state area. She was complaining about an eye issue - the dr in the facility just came up and gave her eye drops. Previously this would require sister taking off work, sitting in the waiting area for hours, running for the prescription and getting mom dressed and in and out. They’re now the ones making her get out of bed, get dressed and sit in a chair. Before it was like world war 3.
RVM - I concur with others who’ve suggested having her stay at rehab as private pay. I had to do that with my mother when she was released from rehab but her AL wasn’t ready yet. B ringing her to my home was out of the question because of stairs. I can’t imagine a rehab turning down a private pay patient, even if it’s only for a few days.
Hurrah, eyeamom. That’s what it is all about - comfort and peace of mind. Nice to wear the daughter hat instead of the nurse, chauffeur, coaxer, therapist hats ALL the time.
Your report on skilled nursing rehab is important, especially for anyone choosing a Medi-gap policy. Be sure it covers those 100 days in full. That 20% adds up quickly and SNFs can be a huge help.
Take it from someone who lived the nightmare of a parent who fell- broke pelvis in several places- risking a fall is not worth it.
Eyemamom, so glad you got through this ring of fire.
eso, as I understand it, it pays up to 100 days, but only if it’s medically necessary. If rockvillemom’s MIL has been deemed fit enough to leave, then the claim ends, regardless of how many days it’s been.
Another sticky wicket we found out the hard way: Even if it’s medically necessary, if the patient isn’t make progress, they get the boot from Medicare. Patient progress is assessed once a week (at my parents’ SNF, anyway).
LasMa is correct in explaining how Medicare works when it comes to paying for rehab. Nobody is guaranteed 100 days. It depends on whether it’s medically necessary and whether the patient is making progress.
Thank you all for the advice. I thought we made some progress when we were in Dallas towards making group decisions on m-i-l, but now that we are back in MD, we seem to be back where we were - completely left out. So, I have no idea what is happening today or where she is. I guess b-i-l and his wife have made some decision on where she is today - whether that is at their house or maybe they were able to move her into the AL today. No response to my text - so I have no idea.
Spoke too soon - she is in AL today! What a crazy month. Hope this transition goes well.
So, m-i-l is in her new $6000/month AL - and her first reaction is “meh”. She commented on how small the apartment is and the lunch and dinner she had there today was just "ok ". This woman has never been pleased with anything in her entire life. So over her and this entire situation.
We have a sweet aunt who due to trouble regulating her BP did have some mini-strokes that affected her mobility, speech, and weakness on right side. We happened to be visiting my sister in the same city so we surprised her with a flowering plant and a visit. She was in skilled care and they were busy with all the therapies. She made great progress and was able to return to her senior apt a short time ago. She also had a great attitude and family support. She is 93 but looks great for her age, but has older sisters that have made it to 93 and 94, and so some good family longevity (their parents lived to mid 80’s which was fabulous for that generation). Two sisters are currently 89 and 90, but one has dementia (with some of her brain function decline from open heart surgery).
Yikes on the costs of care.
And yes if adequate progress is not made, medicare will not continue to pay.
Aunt made fabulous progress. When the one aunt died at 93, the next sister (who always competed) said she was going to outlive the sister, and she did, living to 94.
rockvillemom -negative people won’t suddenly become sweet elderly. Unfortunately. It’s a life lesson to me. I’m a way more positive person than my mom and I believe it’s because I think you choose joy, and choose to be grateful. My other life lesson - plan and save for your own retirement. All along the way my mom had to be forced into making the right choice. I want my kids to be able to be my kids, not my nurses, social worker, psychologist, day laborer, etc.
@rockvillemom, I’m so sorry that your m-i-l doesn’t appreciate how hard you’ve worked on her behalf. There are a lot of us here who do. And at the back of my mind is what @eyemamom said above. I think at the end of the day, i’m doing for my in-laws because I love my husband.
@yaupon is right, rockvillemom. We do appreciate you. You too, eyemom. You’re both going way above and beyond, dealing with the problems to the best of your ability, and – importantly – acting in good faith. You do what you can do for people you love. You can be at peace about that.
My mother was never appreciative of anything I did for her until her dementia got bad enough that I placed her in a nursing home. Now she’s very effusive in her thanks (most of the time) for all I do. It certainly doesn’t erase all the years of being told I was a rotten daughter and that she wished she had had another child (I’m an only).
Here’s a note of appreciation, gratitude, thanks for all of us who are doing the best we can.
You are all absolutely right. Just a moment of utter frustration on my part.
^^^ which you are entirely entitled to feel, and to vent it here. We get it.
A friend needed advice of Henry Cloud’s book ‘Boundaries’. I am reading it now off my bookshelf. The first chapter ‘A Day in a Boundaryless Life’ is a good sample of the depicted gal trying to be a good Christian but allowing herself to get dumped on, including her 9 year old son not responding well to rules and delayed gratification, along with husband’s immaturity.
Reminds people to take care of themselves mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.