Yes @somemom, it seems like more of a quirk then a problem with her thinking or executive function.
H’s aunt had dementia that was in combination with some mental deterioration when she had to have quadruple heart bypass back when had to be on heart/lung machine and some hypoxia. She had 4 kids - lived with one, and the others took mom for the weekends and also several nights sitting (or had the hired sitter). The one she lived with, the couple worked from home so they all made it work together. She was a mild lady, but totally had to be lead with everything and of course had to be watched.
Happy Thanksgiving to all who are struggling on this path. I hope you and your elders are able to enjoy this day however it works for your family!
In a recent development with his Parkinson’s–the disease that always has another surprise up its sleeve–my dad developed aspirational pneumonia and spent several days in the hospital. He’s out now, but his Thanksgiving meal (and all of his meals from now on) has to be pureed, a new and disappointing twist! Just the latest indignity of a disease that tears everything down eventually.
Sisters, I appreciate you are traveling with the folks. We took them on TWO trips 3 years ago and no one helped us. Now, you’re trying to get me to do everything for you for this trip. I’m sorry, I haven’t a clue what you are all planning to do or wear or how cold it will be. You have done this trip once before with them and s bunch of times with just your nuclear family. I can get dad’s drugs together but you guys are in charge, NOT me or us.
I warned you that mom has to be dressed every day. I hope you guys do dress her warmly or she will be VERY itchy with hives from cold. I have no idea how you guys dressed her and dad last time you took her and dad. You have to figure that out. I have no idea how cold or fancy any of your events are. Only you know theses things.
Have a nice trip.
Good luck to your family @HImom. Thankfully, 4 years ago when mom and dad moved from FL dressing for colder weather didn’t seem to be a problem yet.
So sorry @b1ggreenca. 
Parkinson’s is truly awful.
Whoops, it was only 2 years ago when we took our parents on those two trips. Yes, family dynamics are definitely interesting and challenging.
Hey everyone, I searched this thread and could not find anything relevant to my situation. Our mom, who once was very computer savvy, is losing her skills and is doing some unsafe things with regards to the computer. A few months ago she signed herself up for some kind of make-up scan just to get an Amazon gift card. There was a lot of unraveling to be done and credit card had to be cancelled. Now she has convinced herself that she must remember to sign up for her Medicare supplement. She is signing up for stuff on-line and my brother and I can’t convince her that her policy auto-renewed and she does not have to do anything (he and she called BCBS but she still doesn’t believe it.) We now have to monitor her email.
We don’t want to completely prevent her computer use. She browses the web, corresponds with some friends, checks Facebook, but we don’t want her doing stupid things that could end up costing her a lot of money, like signing up for a different health plan, etc.
I’ve tried to research if there are tools like there are for children to keep her computer use safe, but all I find if I search “cognitive impairment” and computer is research showing that the computer can help delay dementia! Has anyone had this issue?
@LBowie sorry for your Mom , it is very tough. I can’t speak to the computer programs, but I recommend (if you can possibly get her to do it) Get on her accounts so you can monitor. If you are comfortable with it, you can cancel her current credit cards and leave her only one (which you could ask for a low limit on). And most important, put a credit freeze on her credit. It only costs about $10 for each of the three companies.
https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0497-credit-freeze-faqs
It will prevent her ordering NEW credit cards and will block someone else from trying when (note that with what I see you say, it will be when) her idenity is stolen, no one else can sign up for a new card in her name.
I should have taken my Mom’s loss of computer skills (she was pretty savy at one time) much more seriously and a big red flag that she needed more help. She ended up having her housekeeper get access to all her accounts to download the transactions (she used Quicken). I told Mom I would do it and changed her password, but it was pretty scary for a couple of months. Turns out the woman was honest, but her boyfriend wasnt’.
Why can’t you use the same software that you would use to limit kid’s internet access?
Welcome @LBowie my parents, and in particular my dad, were early computer adopters. I would do a history search on their computers plus, I knew my dad’s email account and password which I would monitor periodically. Fortunately, as his mental status and judgement declined, he lost the ability to navigate to sites and sign up with passwords or even remember his e-mail address. It was to the point that even though the Windows log on password was taped to the monitor, he was unable to even log on to Windows. Mom decided for some reason to not go on-line before her cognitive decline was severe.
Get POA and your brother or yourself as a cosigner on the bank account so your can a) monitor the account and b) speak for her to settle disputes. Be prepared to jump through a lot of hoops at the financial centers as they each have their own requirements (it is much easier to be on the account) and also be prepared to fax forms to a lot of people as you try to settle disputes.
Thanks, everyone, gosh, I didn’t even think about a credit freeze! My brother stays on top of bills and he has set it up so most are paid automatically. I am signer on her accounts and have electronic access to her bank account. I do have POA, but haven’t used it yet. I don’t live nearby, and visit every other month when I go through a pile of mail to make sure nothing important has been missed. Boy, I know what you mean about financial centers and hoops. I don’t blame them for being careful about fraud, but I don’t care to be reated like a suspect until proven innocent!
@colfac92 when you say, “Why can’t you use the same software that you would use to limit kid’s internet access?” I don’t actually know what that would be – do you have a suggestion? We never utlized it for our kids who are now almost 24 and almost 21 - it might not have existed yet. I was under the impression that the kids type software would prevent one from accidentally (or intentionally!) navigating to porn sites. Is there software that prevents kids from entering credit card information and buying stuff? Because that’s what I would want! 
@LBowie my kids are 28 and 25, so I hear you about not being familiar with it. But when they were in middle school, there was a lot of discussion about parental controls among some of our PTO members. I heard Net Nanny mentioned and also found this comparison chart https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_content-control_software_and_providers No direct experience, but wishing you luck. I thank all the deities fervently that my mother doesn’t even want a computer.
Our parents have lost interest in the computer. It is way beyond mom’s current abilities and dad is less and less interested in it as he finds it very confusing and difficult. He has lost interest in email and doesn’t even open any that is addressed to him. His former secretary has to notify us if there is anything that needs urgent attention as dad just ignores or forgets.
@LBowie Sorry, no experience with any of that software, it just seemed like you were searching for something specifically for older adults instead of for kids, and I was just wondering why one couldn’t just use the stuff meant for kids? Hmmm, something that prevents a user from checking out from an online shopping cart… I don’t know of anything like that, but I can see how it might be handy!
Not naming names, but there are some types of sites those kid filters prohibit that some older guys might think are pretty important to retain access to. Which is something you might wish you hadn’t found out.
Today, we drove my sister, BIL and folks to the airport for a trip to Cincinnati. Even tho sis and the other sis (and her family) who will be flying with them insist dad is thrilled, excited and happy about the trip while mom seemed confused (as usual) — we could not see nor hear any evidence that dad was either happy or excited the entire time we drove them to the airport. There was no hint of a smile nor a pleasant word.
This is similar to how he behaved when he and mom were accompanied on 4 separate trips two years ago—to Europe, national parks, SF opera and a pro football game. When he was with us, he was often complaining and wanting to be elsewhere—poor internet/TV reception, tour too long, National Park boring (tho they had requested it), opera boring (tho again they requested it).
H says it isn’t worth traveling with someone like dad, who honestly does NOT seem to enjoy the planning, preparation, travel, sights or memories (and barely remembers anyway). Additionally, travel is very tough on mom. It was exhausting for us and we won’t travel with them again.
Himom, I can’t imagine taking anyone elderly (and in the condition you’ve described) out of HI for a trip to a cold place *in December. * It’s not like taking them to FL or AZ.
Especially since heating is uneven right now, not going full bore yet. Good luck.
Yes, the trip was NOT my idea, my sisters together decided it was fabulous and at times previously dad seemed pleased about it. Dad still wants to travel though none of us believe he or mom can travel at all without escorts. They are afraid he will randomly book something if he doesn’t come on a trip that someone plans and escorts them on.
I did warn my sisters that they have to be sure to dress the folks appropriately and warmly each day. When we went to pick them up to take them to the airport, they were wearing shorts and surprised we were there to pick them up.
We are NOT traveling with them.