I want to share good news since it seems easier to remember and share the frustrations.
I took mom to the DMV to get a state ID card. As I wheeled her up to the door, the guard opened it and steered us to the front of a line, we presented documents, moved quickly to the front of the second line, were processed there, then were sent to the camera area for her picture. We received her temporary ID and were back in the parking lot within 20 minutes. She was treated so kindly by all staff members, it was truly a relief.
Our DMV used to take 2-3 hours- yes, hours- when we first moved to the area 20 years ago. The sorting of people and procedures has improved dramatically. I appreciated the quick attention, due to her wheelchair and possibly, age. (Although accessible, there weren’t really parking spots at each waiting area.)
The last time I tried taking her on a paperwork excursion, she threw things, yelled at staff, and basically had a toddler temper tantrum. It was so horrifying and traumatizing, I haven’t attempted a similar trip since.
Now it’s several years later, and her dementia has progressed past the stage where she still thought she could take care of herself (and drive!). She’s much more work now, but her temperament is usually more compliant. I swear, every stage has its trade-offs. But this was a good day.
Take the good days when you can! My mom told my sister in a phone call last night, “I think this is going to work out just fine.” I’ll take it when I can get it,
Agree—yesterday, had a very pleasant day with mom and dad. Had lunch and went to the country club briefly to watch golf tournament in progress. Mom also tried on the slacks I gave her for Christmas—fit perfectly! Both were in good mood.
Sister picked them up for dinner at Indian bazaar with her H and nephew. Tonight they’re attending basketball game with another sister.
There must be something in the air! I visited my Dad yesterday. Before he saw me I saw him flirting with the staff. They told me they had live music the day before and that he was dancing and twirling all the ladies. I guess the facility (senior living, assisted living and Memory Care) got bought out by a national company (Atria). So far the changes seem positive.
My dad passed away yesterday after 8 days in hospice care at home. Very steep decline, with the last 4 days being nonverbal and mostly asleep.
In contrast, my mother in law, with the same CHF diagnoses, lived comfortably for 9 months in at home hospice care. She was able to sit at a family dinner on her last evening.