Hmmm, my mom mentioned last night that they gave her the wrong dose of Ambien early in her stay when my sister was her. That could be the problem. Unfortunately she takes Ambien every night and Xanax every day at home, but at the hospital they don’t give either with the regular scheduled meds, she has to ask for them. So it could be part of the problem is withdrawal since she’s been sleeping a lot to rest and may not have had both drugs on the regular schedule every day. Or her tolerance could have changed. Or…
Up until a month or so ago both her memory and her executive skills were enviable. Her energy was low, but her short and long term memory, interest in family and community, and ability to solve problems was excellent, so this is quite a shock.
MomofJandL, is the disorientation worse in the evening (sundowning)? The change in meds might also be a factor. It sounds like previously she had either Ambien or Xanax in her system most of the time, and withdrawal might be going on, as you say. Are they giving her anything on a schedule, like gabapentin, that could also contribute.
I would bet that since your mom’s memory and executive skills, as well as engagement, were okay before the hospital, that she will return.
Can you get the doctor to change the order on those meds to scheduled versus PRN? (I have to do this all the time. The problems with PRN meds in rigid (with reason) medical settings can only be addressed by having the meds scheduled and the record would show her previous schedule.
It is disturbing to see these changes but I would think they must be temporary and situational, and hope so!
mominva, I am pretty sure the content of the conversation came from the aide. The account had some details that only would have come from the aide.
No conversation about my mother should have occurred, period. If the friend brought it up, the appropriate response would have been “Sorry, I know you are friends, but I cannot discuss another resident.”
Consequences to this type of thing include gossip that is hurtful to relationships, since the friend will now pass on the aide’s comments to her dinner table and bingo friends.
I did email the nursing director. After a week with a major medication error , money disappearing and some other stuff, I choose my battles carefully but after sleeping on it, I do believe this needs to be addressed.
@compmom my first impulse was verify first, but it sounds pretty conclusive and absolutely needs addressing. Sorry for this breach on top of a situation that’s wrenching even when all the pieces are going well.
@compmom, you are right, these ALs are like a junior high boarding school; so much attitude, so many trying to one up the others. The more able you are, the higher social status!
I went in today and the charge nurse, who I like a lot, was already dealing with it. She verified with resident and aide and was doing a report on the incident and retraining the aide. She also assured me that in their view my mother is doing fine where she is and that family is doing more than enough to suppport her.
Day 3 of rehab for my mom, so far so good. At least she is out of bed and out of her room and able to socialize more, and fewer periods of confusion. Fingers crossed that she will get back to her apartment (with help), and that the question will be whether it takes 2 or 4 or 8 weeks to get there. Nice to have 3 sisters to share the travel and worry with.
I don’t know how to solve this one. My sweet, thoughtful, niece writes letters to my mom. My mom loves getting and reading them, but then she cries off and on the rest of the day and night. She says they make her happy but also sad that she can’t see her granddaughter more often. She sees her every three weeks or so, but with dementia, she has no concept of time and really isn’t happy any day we don’t have visitors.
How clear is your mother about time? If the niece includes the information in her letter that she is coming tomorrow, would your mom be able to recognize that concept and look forward to the visit, but still be forgetful enough that tomorrow she could reread the letter and not realize that a day had passed?
She is a curious mix. No concept of time, day, date, year. But also if told something/someone is coming soon, will ask about it 50 times in a few hours. Usually a new day resets to no memory of recent events - unless she’s told about something that worries her, like going to the podiatrist. Doctor visits worry her enough to stick, somehow.
Concept of date and time are a bit different then memory. For her, 5 minutes may seem like hours, though she can hod on to the fact that someone is visiting. For my mom, if she is looking for someone to pick her up, I would say they are coming “tomorrow” and that would reassure her. You can do the same thing for your niece. But your mom has a better memory than mine did (she has moved beyond that and has precipitously declined in the past few months) and perhaps you can let her know the niece is coming “next week.” Your niece does sound lovely. Were they close pre-cognitive decline?
As to doctor visits, home visits have been a godsend. We have an organization called “doctors making house calls” and there is a consistent provider coming every 6 weeks. Also a podiatrist and psychiatrist who makes home visits. However, since my parent’s have less than a 1 second memory, they can’t worry about anything!
Hi. I’ve not posted in this thread yet but had a concern and wanted to see if anyone here could answer my question.
I care for both my parents and my mom recently fell and had to be hospitalized. She then needed to go to a rehab facility. I wanted her to go to the same one she was at a few years ago since she had a good experience there. The case worker told me a couple times that this facility wasn’t getting back with them so I figured they were full and asked if there was another one we could use. She gave me the name of one and mom was sent there.
Two days later, I was getting frustrated with multiple care-related issues and I called the other facility myself to see if they had a room open up and how difficult it would be to transfer if things continued to go south. The admissions lady said she remembered my mom from the last time and said they were puzzled when they called after getting insurance approval to find out she went to another facility. I told her what the case worker said and she said she wasn’t surprised, that this has happened before. She said she was out of town and had someone covering for her but that this lady isn’t new and she couldn’t see her not following through. She said they received the hospital paperwork and all so wouldn’t the case worker have had to call someone before faxing over private medical info?
Anyway, my question is since so much has gone wrong over here, my cynical side is wondering if they are “steering” patients to the facility owned by the same organization as the hospital. If I suspect this is happening, what agency would I call?
I hate when when facilities put up road blocks to patient/family choice. I’m sorry this happened to you and your mom.
I went through a similar experience trying to get the hospice provider I wanted for my mom. The facility had a preferred provider that I wasn’t comfortable with and the DON was very unhappy that I refused to use them.
Thank you for your kind words, momofsenior1. It’s so stressful taking care of elderly parents anyway and then all the things I’ve been putting up with at this rehab place have just added to my stress level tremendously.
Just one example of how I have to constantly pester these people for info that could easily be found out by looking at the chart or making a simple phone call - by the next day (Thursday) they had all of her pills, except for her most expensive one that she has to take twice a day. They get deliveries twice a day during the week and once a day on weekends and every day I ask them to call and make sure it gets delivered and every day nothing. It’s as if I have to be a b to get info or anything done. The way they are with this situation and the others has me so cynical that I wonder if they’re somehow double dipping…using my mom’s pills and still charging her insurance. I’m so fed up that I think I’m going to go ahead with the transfer.
@rjm2018 besides reporting to the insurance, there should be both a senior support web site for your state AND a senior facility state complaint data base. I found the one for my mom by searching Oregon Memory Care complaints and got the Oregon Health and Human services/senior care site. It has what you need to do to complain. It … and I am pretty sure most every state … has the list of facility complaints that were substantiated.
In fact, before moving anyone in to any facility, I recommend looking for complaints at the state and county levels. Even if there is one or two, you can see what they did to address the problem and how long ago it was.
I called my state Ombudsman and was very happy with the conversation.
My mother’s assisted living changed pharmacies and here have been two medication errors so far, in two weeks. One quite serious. I was sick during the transition or I would have been in there making sure of details.
I try to stay pleasant in relationships with the facility but have learned not to trust anything and do most of it myself! Including cleaning my mother in the bathroom
Wow, @compmom, two med errors in two weeks - that’s scary! Yes, I’m pleasant with the staff as well and, also like you, my trust is worn thin. I visited yesterday right around lunch time and my mom was sitting at the table and did not have her teeth in! How the heck did she eat breakfast w/o her teeth?!? The evening aide must’ve taken them out to soak (which was nice) but the day aide didn’t bother to put them in (not nice). There were other issues, too, ugh.
I met with the DON and ADN yesterday and it sounds like they started several months ago as a way to try and turn this place around. I told them about all the issues I’ve been experiencing and also about what happened with the hospital saying my initial choice of rehab places wasn’t responding and that’s why I was told of their facility and that I later found out that this was not true. They said they would help make the transfer smooth if that’s what I wanted to do. I am going to give them just a bit more time and see how it goes bc there are a few gems in this place and the therapists have been very involved with mom.
I keep forgetting to use the “@“ sign before your names, so thank you again @momofsenior1 and @esobay.
