Agree. Even if it seems she’s a little ahead of others when she first gets to MC, you’ve been watching, filling in the gaps, for some time now Don’t feel guilty, you’re trying to do what’s best for her.
You’re doing what you think is best, and that counts more than what the ED thinks. I feel it’s better to make the change a little too early (And I’m not saying that you are) than too late.
I’d have to ask that AL director, if this is the right place for her, why do you require me (@compmom) to come all the time, to sleep here at times, and to be so involved. If this was the right fit, they would not need the family to do half the things that need doing to keep Mom safe and content, let alone the bonus things like going downstairs to activities.
Yesterday was such an odd day, we think my mother had a stroke in the morning and I watched it happen. She was in the bathroom, completely slumped over, one hand all the way to the ground, basically passed out, face sagging etc. After a minute or two she slowly roused enough I could get her back to bed. She then vomited on herself. It was great to have hospice to talk with and the nurse said it sounded like a stroke. I’m expecting exhaustion and bed for the rest of the day. By mid-afternoon, she was hungry and walking around better than in ages and more lucid than she has been in ages. Bizarre describes her ups and downs, and my life 
somemom was that a TIA?
You are all so helpful. Change is hard for all of us.
My thought was a TIA or post ictal symptoms after a seizure 
My dad has an infection in his bone in his toe. Started with an open wound there months ago that just wouldn’t heal. He’s been seeing a wound specialist every 2 weeks. He turns 84 tomorrow. He’s diabetic also. And wheelchair bound. They are putting him on IV antibiotics. I’m very against amputation for him with his health and Dementia. Wondering if hospice would be an option instead of amputation?
This is tricky, and we have been in this position a few times though for different reasons. First see if the antibiotics work. Is there gangrene yet?
If he has dementia, a consultation with hospice would be very helpful and they can guide you in these decisions.
We think it was a CVA with the vomiting afterward not being unusual. After the first 30-60 seconds I got my phone and video taped another 30 seconds to show the hospice nurse, she agreed with me and the nurse I spoke to over the weekend that it was likely a CVA, though no residual obvious damage. I think if I were a panicky person they would have done a home visit on the weekend, but I knew there was nothing they could no, we are not doing 911/ED/Tx for anything, so they did not come out the day it happened and I did not ask them to come out as I am confident in handling stuff like this with a bit of phone support to be sure I am not missing anything.
This is a problem I don’t think I have seen mentioned. We are transitioning (in a crisis mode) from 13 hours a week of care for my dad to 24 hours/7 days a week care. While my sister and I are having the typical sibling problems, one problem we did not anticipate would be the need to manage the relationship between the caregivers. We live in a small town, and lo and behold, the three caregivers seem to know each other from prior clients and have some historical baggage. My sister said the hand-off this morning between caregiver A (from agency X) and caregiver B (from agency Y) was a disaster. Because we are in crisis mode, we have to use two agencies. We have had caregiver A for two years and there is a good relationship between her and my dad. Does anyone have any thoughts? By Saturday, there will also be caregiver C (from agency X) and caregiver D (from agency Y).
What we did in a similar situation was ask the main/preferred caregiver for suggestions for who else to hire. They always had suggestions so we were never without people we needed. Then of course as you get other caregivers who work out, you ask them too, building your network. We did this for 2 years, it pretty much worked but not to say there wasn’t any strife or problems, what else can you expect when managing that many people?
I would personally say something to the agencies. That is so unprofessional and the last thing that should be happening is the caregivers causing more drama and stress.
After much heartache and horror stories with 24/7 care and agencies for my aunt, we were able to find a caregiver who we employed as a live in. She was the sister of my mother’s caregiver. If she needed a weekend off, my aunt would stay with my mother and we paid my mother’s caregiver. For vacation, she was able to get other family or friends who were certified to cover for her. These caregivers became part of our family. We had previously gone through about 6 different agencies.
When my mom needed 24/7 care, we hired our own two caregivers. They take turns to provide care for mom, two days on and two days off, so they always have 15 days off a month. However, when they are on duty, they will provide service 24/7.
We had tried day/night shift, but when one is needing a vacation, you have a problem.
My mom had a caregiver, and eventually a second caregiver to help with lifting. The woman who came to be the main caregiver, Beverly, had strong and well-founded views about who was qualified to work with her and replace her on her days off. She basically fired one of the secondary caregivers, and she told us to never hire a certain other caregiver again as a replacement because when Beverly would return after her days off, she thought Mom was not clean and had not been well-cared-for in her absence by this other caregiver.
I gave Beverly a whopping tip last Christmas and another after Mom died. She deserved them. If you find a good caregiver, treasure them. Also trust their opinions about who else to hire; they’re the closest to your parent, so they know.
I got everything set up for memory care move and none of my clever fiblets are working!
Just venting…dad is in a nursing home now…he has been falling quite frequently as alarms are not allowed…after his recent hip fracture he is weak and more confused…I know they need to notify family every time it happens but calling at 6 am after a 11 pm fall is a bit much…any ideas on decreasing falls? He cant remember he is weak/ non functional or to use his call bell.
Is he in the nursing home for rehab care? Is he close to the nurses’ station? We found a huge difference in fall risk with how close the room was to the nurses. Also they kept her in a wheelchair near the station most of the day.
But also we asked for an alarm. They have bladder-like things for chairs and pads for beds that will alarm. Can they-or you- provide? Will he eventually be in memory care (where they claim to check every hour)?
Regarding my post I had an idea: I am going to take my mother on a vacation until she forgets her AL, usually 3 days, and then move her!
My mom is in memory care with frequent checks but still has regular falls. Her ALZ is impacting her gait and balance and she couldn’t learn to use a walker. We will eventually need to hire a private aide to be with her and even that is no guarantee.
@compmom I was thinking of you after your fiblets comment. Do you think it might be better to just move her, if she’ll forget in 3 days anyway? A vacation sounds really difficult!