<p>this is all the same problem with me, ditto to pearlinthemist. guys are just very shy. you can't be afraid to let them know you are attracted to them back. just smile and make eye contact, hopefully they'll approach you. if they dont and they are worth it, go up to them!</p>
<p>*In college, you meet a lot of girls. Let's say you see a pretty, cute, down to earth looking girl maybe in one of your classes or in your residence buildings where you live. Will you check her out but not talk to her or will you go up and try to make conversation? *</p>
<p>I'd probably check her out, make haste and regret not talking to her afterwards if it was in that setting. At a party, however, I'd probably dance with her after psyching myself up. At a party, with alcohol in me, I'd go up to her as soon as I saw her.</p>
<p>**
Does it make it easier for guys if the girl has a smile on her face or will you still not talk to her.[ **</p>
<p>Sometimes easier, sometimes harder. It really varies for me. I might get intimidated with a smile and then again I might not. </p>
<p>As a general rule of thumb I'd say it would help if you initiated the conversation. Once an attractive, friendly girl shows interest, so do I. At the very least, I'll get the impression that the girl wants to be friends with me so there's no risk of putting myself out there and looking stupid.</p>
<p>*the reason i made this thread is because a lot of my friends and people i know tell me I'm pretty and are surprised when i tell them that guys don't come up to me. *</p>
<p>You'd be surprised how much attitude and confidence play a role. Like you, most people consider me to be very good-looking. However, many of my friends get more "play" simply because they are more outgoing, make better first impressions and are appear more self-confident. It's something that I've been working on and I have noticed by just looking a bit more friendly, laughing even when a joke isn't that funny, and just appearing cool I've attracted more girls. Not that people don't remember a good-looking guy/girl, but they remember a great personality even better. And the combination of the two...</p>
<p>I usually look at her boobs..</p>
<p>gnrgurl...</p>
<p>Smiling will usually make you approachable as will be friendly and agreeable once you meet them. Since you've already created a bit of an unsaid reputation as "Ms. Unapproachable" you might have to do a little work to let people know you're friendly by actually taking the initiative to meet some guys. Step out of your comfort zone and touch the cute guy in front of you's shoulder, flirt a little, pick a guy and get him to like you (use a little of that feminity! :P). If you need to, even embarrass yourself so people know you don't think your perfect!</p>
<p>A lot of being unapproachable is often a prideful attitude other people perceive that says, "I am the best there is and nobody can touch me," so they don't [touch you].
So you need to break that attitude/reputation. Sometimes the best way to do that is to show that you don't think you're "all that." You might even try tripping with your backpack open so books fall out and see if someone will help you up and with your books. Stupid human mistakes can really facilitate relationship. Of course, this is assuming there are other reasons people would want to get to know you. I hate to say this, but there are (obviously) people out there who would probably simply get pointed and laughed at if they embarrassed themselves!</p>
<p>Anyway, good luck!</p>
<p>Mike</p>
<p>thanks apumic for the the advice. very good post. i've learned i need to work on my insecurities.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I'm usually too intimidated by attractive women to actually go up and make conversation. Basically, if I'm ever talking to one, it's either because a) We happen to have mutual friends, or B) Some other outside circumstance demands it (ie lab).
[/quote]
</p>
<p>This response is brought on by two things:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>A socialization has caused men to recognize that a hot chick brings immense social pressure that the guy has to deal with (the girl is generally required to take absolutely NO accountability), especially if the guy slips up and the girl has a boyfriend with a BMW, Mansion, six pack abs, and humongous biceps. </p></li>
<li><p>Hot chicks are generally really hard on guys... they tend to play a much tighter game, and can cause guys to become social "fools" fast! Ruining a guys chances for the girl who wanted him anyways... so in economic speak, hot girls carry large amounts of missed opportunity costs.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Well... it could also be that some guys are just really afraid of rejection and the chance of rejection is, on average, higher the hotter a chick is</p>
<p>indeed.....</p>
<p>Smile (not forced) + Eye Contact. It does make a difference.</p>
<p>so..............its easier to talk to an ugly girl than a pretty one? y is that? do cute girls bite......</p>
<p>I agree with your analysis, Griff.</p>
<p>cute girls just have more guys after them, generally, and more often than not (even rather ignorantly) use that to their advantage. Guys have to be more careful with cute girls, because one slip up can mean she moves on with no remorse. We all know she has 10 guys waiting in the wings to buy her lunch and invite her over for parties--which is why guys who learn how to "neg" (give a girl an indirect diss) a cute girl's looks are usually able to get the cute ones.</p>
<p>It makes it a WHOLE lot easier for us to talk to a girl who has a smile on her face (well atleast it is for me). According to me, a smile shows part of the girl's personality and any cute looking girl that has a smile will be the girl i try to make conversation with (a lot of the times).</p>
<p>Smile+ an overall cheerful look really helps a lot. Unfortunately for me I really suck at striking up conversations and that's why girls need to sometimes take lead, just to get some sort of socialization starting at least.</p>
<p>wow thanks for the responses. I guess a smile goes a long way!</p>
<p>I talk to girls...I'm not easily intimidated.</p>
<p>cute girls that are mature and nice are a rarity. I think what griff is saying is that attractive girls have always had guys after them, so thier personalities are kind of....predictable. </p>
<p>If a girl acts like she's in high school still has that prom queen attitude.....then the ***** probably isn't worth anyones time.</p>
<p>I swear, self image is 95% of all of this (and, of course, how that self image manifests itself in the way you interact with others).<br>
If you have a strong self-image and make yourself approachable, guys will be all over you. I have seen this work many a time. It's like magic -ish.</p>
<p>I'm sick of my personality. Let me explain. AP Chemistry - a girl sits on the other side of the room and has been checking me out all year. I haven't had the balls to talk to her yet. A girl sitting right next to me has been checking me out for like 3 months. I've talked to her for like 1 sentence. These aren't nerdy girls either, they're smart extremely attractive ones. I'm not intimidated, it's really that I don't know what to say. That's it. If I had an interesting topic I could easily strike up a conversation. But if I didn't, it would be so obvious that I'm trying to get her attention or something. I hate it. Even in AP Literature there's like 3 girls that I always make eye contact with but I never talk. But people don't know me in college so I'll work up the ****ing balls to talk to girls lol. Sorry for the rant lol.
/endrant</p>